by Sir Hardly Anyone.
For the first time ever I have seen a bloggetta run a transfer rumour with the headline “Nobody believes it”. The source is Talkingbaws – which is a new one on me – and it runs like this. Real Mad are going to buy Kylian Mbappé, just to show that they can. Now nothing is fixed and Monaco are saying no deal, they have sold enough players. But the story takes this as an opening. And it gets better.
Now we get assumption two, that as a result of this buying the Real Mad have to sell someone.
Then the assumption is made that the someone is going to be Gareth Bale.
And then the fourth assumption is that he is going to Arsenal.
So which one shall we prod and see what oozes out? How about the one that says Real Mad have to sell? Real Mad are actually in profit this transfer window to the tune of £21m having already sold Mario Hermoso to Espanyol for small change, Álvaro Morata to Chelsea for £58m and Danilo to Manchester City for £26.5m.
Their big buys are Vinícius Júnior from Flamengo for £39.6m, Theo Hernández from Atlético Madrid for £22.8m and Dani Ceballos from Real Betis for £14.5m.
Now if they pay more than the gross domestic product of Spain for the Monaco man they might want to sell again, but does that mean Bale?
And where does this story come from? Well none other than the bonkers “bones of pregnant alien found in children’s playground” newspaper the Daily Loonie, sorry Express. And goodness me it seems that Bale has been linked with Manchester Utd too.
Well! What can I say? Except “Well!”
Of course Tottenham and Arsenal men change sides. Tottenham manager ex-Arsenal player Terry Neill moved straight from the Lane to Arsenal after a fairly disastrous spell, and George Graham got sacked for naughtiness by Arsenal, had a suspension and then ended up eventually at Tottenham. And that’s before we get to Sol Campbell. And a certain goalkeeper if memory serves. But bloggettas don’t have memory so they have forgotten that.
Anyway the Sun Says Thomas Lemar has been edging closer to a move to the Emirates while Sky Sprouts says Lemar is an “essential player’ at Monaco before noting that he will “stay with” them.
Meanwhile the agent of Lucas is in town to push through a transfer to Deportivo. And how does one “push through a transfer?” We are not told, I regret to say.
Moving on, tonight the team is Borehamwood is said to include…
Chuba Akpom, Mathieu Debuchy, Kieran Gibbs, Carl Jenkinson and Jeff Reine-Adelaide. Plus Krystian Bielik and Eddie Nketiah. Steve Gatting is the manager, Mr Wenger looks on imperiously and chats to Ivan G or maybe Jens who seems to be taking an ever more central role in life.
But now there is more on the subject of Tottenham Hotspur: “Tight spending policy could force Pochettino out” is the headline, but I don’t believe a word of it.
We know that “All of the major clubs across Europe know about this and have their eye on him,” because articles are appearing saying just this, along with others that say, “He still hasn’t won a major trophy yet, and if there is to be another year of the same, especially if Tottenham don’t do much major strengthening this summer, then frustration at not being able to take that next step could set in. If this season sees them regress, then such a feeling may become even more pronounced.”
Which means that the FA Cup is back on the table as a trophy, which he hasn’t won. Here’s another one: “there is a pecking order in football and Tottenham are not at the top of it.”
Actually I don’t think Mr Pot is the problem at all – he looks like a superb manager to me. The problem is playing at Wembley – but we shall see.
What’s wonderful about this tale is that apparently (in some tellings) both Man U and Bayern M both want to get rid of their over-expensive but under-achieving managers. Bayern’s problem is that they didn’t win the Inter Galactic League. Man U that they didn’t make the top four. Or come to that five.
Anyway Real Sport is the place where you can read some of that stuff.
Elsewhere 442 tells us, or rather asks us, via its Transfer News Live column, “Could Arsenal be set to sign, Ivorian centre midfielder, Jean Michael Seri?” But answer comes there none.
And now here is the shock. Alexis is so desperate to leave Arsenal that the utterly wonderful IB Times (which you really should read to make sure you laugh enough each day) is now saying Alexis “is willing to take a pay cut in order to secure a potential £50m ($65.4m) reunion with former Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola.
A pay cut????
After he has been demanding the entire gross domestic product of the United Kingdom and part of the US just to stay at Arsenal for two and a half weeks?
I think I need to sit down.
Oh.
I am sitting down.
- What makes a pitch worth ‘a million dollars’? Arsenal’s deal secures its second stadium.
- Borehamwood v Arsenal – Thursday 27 July pre-season friendly preview
I love how Untold always puts out these articles to mock all the rumours, but makes sure to have a sensationalist title to get the inevitable surge it clicks and extra sponsorship $$$.
If you believed in your own mantra then you would not make these so called “mock articles” that are simply to bring you some extra money, because you have done it so many times now and we all get the point. I literally didn’t even read the piece because you’ve written the same rubbish criticising all the pathetic football media so many times…nothing new…I just came to leave this comment because its the truth of what is behind another “mock article” with another sensationalist headline…really not much better than the rest. You just shade it with criticism to hide what your actually doing
Ah the irony of untold…
Half time at Borehamwood and Arsenal are winning 3-0. A penalty by Akpom on 8 minutes, a wonderful finish from Mavididi in min24 and a third from Jon Total with the last kick of the game. Jenkinson, Debuchy, The Jeff all playing. No sign of Gibbs either on the pitch or bench
Sir,
you are missing (or respectfully forgot to mention) the most ironic, stupid and totally illogical part about the paycut Alexis is ready to accept
From the sources I’ve read these last days, the paycut is offered to City not to Arsenal….
Just imagine the scene : Yes Boss, I want to leave so bad that I proposed to City to make it sweeter for them and pay me less so please let me go, they need my financial help so much and have troupbel with FFP so Arsenal and myself could help them.
I mean….sure they really think readers are morons, but in this case, they prove they are far higher on the moronic scale….
If the name of Gibbs is not on the Arsenal team sheet for this match, does that means his transfer from Arsenal to another club is close? But can we take it that Debuchy and Jenkinson playing for Arsenal tonight indicate the duo are not yet close to being transferred out of Arsenal? But their transfer away from the Gunners this summer is still expected to happen anytime from now, isn’t it?
Alexis agreeing to have his wages slashed so that he can get a transfer from Arsenal this summer to Man City to have a paradise reunion with the now Man City boss Pep Guardiola, who was his former manager when he was playing at FC Barcelona can only be a fallacy media transfer rumour of the ridiculous order this summer and nothing else.
To be honest, can’t wait for Sunday and afterwards to know exactly what’s going on with the Whole Sanchez debacle.
You guys here keep on lambasting the media at every turn, but you seem to forget without this same media, we’ll only get information from the clubs or players directly.
That in all honestly will make the transfer window and season in general very boring. Yes some media outlets do make up stories by putting two and two together ,it’s what they do to sell papers.
One thing I know for sure is, there is no smoke without fire. It’s seems to me, too much of a coincidence, that Bayern and PSG supposedly pulled out of deals for him cuz of ‘ high wage demands’.
If I was in the media,I’ll assume he’s pricing himself out of a move to either and only wants one club,City.
To be frank with you guys, Sanchez doesn’t look like a player who would want to play for arsenal again, and arsenal doesn’t look like a team who is ready to let 50-60M go down the drain. He has already stated his desires
But as I said earlier, we can only wait till after Sunday when he returns.
Let’s just try to cut the media some slack,they ain’t right about everything definitely, Buh they are at least above average
Stephan
‘But they are at least above average’
Last year the media got 2 out of 110 supposed transfer candidates correct, hardly ‘above average’!!!
Sir Hardly Anyone , why is it that nearly everyone fails to mention Steve Walford when transfers across the N.London divide is brought up ? He was in that Arsenal team that won the FA Cup in 1979 , thus losing that 8 years without a trophy streak.
Maybe its due to the fact that he came on as substitute on 83 minutes , when Arsenal were coasting on 2-0 , only for Man Utd to score 2 goals soon after. Within 5 minutes ! An not in any way apportioning any blame on him , mind you.
As for Bale , at least if he does sign for us , he’ll not be getting any ‘Judas’ abuse at WHL this season ! At Wembley , maybe ?
A likely cautionary tale –
I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle , and put the bottle in the bicycle basket .
As I was about to leave , I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle , the bottle would surely break .So I drank all the whiskey before I cycled home .
Finally , it turned out to be a very good decision , because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home!
Clear the decks !
A lady went to a restaurant for lunch , and after seeing that each of the dozen tables were occupied by a couple , and feeling really hungry and tired , took out her phone and spoke loudly in to it , ” Dearie , your husband is here with another woman!”
And nine of the men disappeared !
Davo I think the irony is that the answer to your point has been put on this site many times before, but I will willingly answer it again.
On the money side, we only make money if someone actually clicks on an advert, not if it just appears on the screen.
On the headline side, it is true that a few people might think that one of our pieces is a true story but once they have come in and seen the name “Sir Hardly Anyone” as the author at the very top I think that is a fair clue as to what is going on.
For anyone who doesn’t quite get that then usually the first few lines reveals our stance. but who could not get that that name is a joke, even if they don’t think it is a funny one?
But just in case anything is still not clear, the fact that the links to the four totals (all players rumoured to be coming in, all leaving etc) is printed on the home page and at the foot of many articles should really make it clear.
I guess (and it is of course only a guess – I don’t live in the world of certainties you inhabit) you see yourself as above the morass of poor saps who are tricked by our headlines – but I wonder – have you thought how long this model might work if you were right? For surely even the dullest person who has been tricked once is not going to read another Untold transfer article, knowing we will be mocking the story.
Or do you have such an incredibly low opinion of people who read Arsenal blogs that you think that despite us making fools of them, as you suggest, week after week after week after… well you get it… they would come back for more? And yet, we stay at our same level of page views most of the time.
Anyway the great thing is you don’t have to read us. The number of bloggettas is growing exponentially this summer, but there is still only one Untold Arsenal
I truly admire the patience that you have shown Tony to some of the most imbecilic posters on here .
While I do have to admit that while their numbers have gradually dwindled over the years , yet there are some who still persist in coming here insisting in trying to show us the error of our ways .
And as usual its not going to work . We AKBs on here are too far gone !
‘ Don’t try to escape your reality …make it everything YOU want it to be !’
ITS YOUR CHOICE –
Once you have started seeing the beauty of life , ugliness starts disappearing.
If you start looking at life with joy , sadness starts disappearing .
You cannot have heaven and hell together , you can have only one .
Its your choice .
And speaking of the Chinese …..
‘ I work with the Chinese. I was always surprised by their workaholism. Recently I called one Chinese lady approximately 5 times in a day. We were discussing a deal, and it was very noisy in her office. The language barrier and noise caused a lot of complications.
I asked her why it was so noisy there. She told me that she was at a wedding party. There are normally 500-1,000 people at a Chinese wedding. I asked her to find a quiet spot, and she told me she couldn’t do that.
I asked her why, and she said she was the bride.’
https://brightside.me/wonder-curiosities/12-stories-about-the-daily-life-of-workaholics-356460/
Mickhazel
Yes they are wrong sometimes concerning Arsenal rumours, but it’s not something peculiar to Arsenal. So the hate they gate is quite incredible.
Before Wenger signed his contract, the news broke that he had been offered a new contract over 3 months before he signed it. Same with all the players we have lost in the transfer window, they break the news way earlier before it actually happens. So you have to admit they do get it right sometimes. Praise them when they do, and criticize them when they don’t.
Nothing is perfect
Bdw…Sanchez just called in sick, just 3 days before he returns
Might just be a coincidence sha
Stephan, Why would you want to read 95%+ lies in the media, just to read less than 5% guesses which may turn out to actually happen purely by chance.
It’s like people reading their star signs and believing them…
As for your repeating the ‘No Smoke’ etc comment, there’s lots and lots and lots of smoke without fire, especially in the media.
Yes the off-season is boring but having hacks make up lies to entertain and infuriate the mentally challenged doesn’t make football more interesting at this time.
It just gives the simple minded that believe the lies, something to get angry about…
Stephan, your comment about the media having some prior knowledge about Wenger joining us over 20 years ago doesn’t take into account the dramatic lowering of media operating standards when it comes to things like ‘truth’.
@ Stephan
Give enough monkeys keyboards and enough time………………
I finally unfollowed Give Me Sport on Facebook after their latest in a long line of anti Arsenal articles.