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What exactly does it mean when Arsenal are on red alert over a player spotted at the airport?

By Sir Hardly Anyone

As I have said before, by now I should be on the estate in the heart of the Rutland Forest hunting wildebeest, but it seems we now have a 365 days a year transfer rumour window and these pesky devils at Untold have me on a contract that says when there is a rumour I should be submitting “copy” as us pro journalists call it.

So I thought I’d pop a message by you today because of this headline which comes naturally from a bloggetta I have never heard of but which claims to be the premier footie website in Italy!  It readeth thus:

1: Arsenal and Barcelona alerted as PSG star claims he is ‘not comfortable ’ with new system

Now this is, I believe, a new development.  A player says that he doesn’t like the format that the coach is using, and so immediately Arsenal and Barcelona are on alert.   At least I suppose we should be happy that they are not on red alert.  That would be too much.

The man in question is none other than Adrien Rabiot who we have been allegedly chasing after for a very, very long time.   And now we might get him because L’Equipe say that the player has said, he feels not comfortable with PSG’s new 4-2-3-1 system.

Well, that’s it then.  Straight to Arsenal.  Except Arsenal were too slow.  Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Now in all this it is important that you should understand the lingo of the phrases used here.  So here is my rundown.  The meanings are given in brackets after each saying

  1. On Red Alert (I just made this up)
  2. On Alert (I made this up yesterday)
  3. Have been alerted (I made this up a while back but can’t remember when)
  4. Monitoring (I think I have mentioned this before but can’t quite remember if it was me or not)
  5. Eyed (I think I saw his picture in a magazine)
  6. Planning a raid for (No one has mentioned this at all)
  7. Rumours / Rumoured to be…  (The other blog my newspaper owns mentioned this)
  8. Could make move for (Someone in the office dared me to mention this)
  9. Not comfortable (I must see the doctor this itch is getting worse)
  10. Spotted at airport.  (I was lurking, trying to pick up some innocent looking tourist for a bit of you know what when I saw this geezer who was a spitting image of the fella I saw playing in a European game on Sky, but whose name I can’t remember).

This is very very important because next up we have

2: Lucas Moura Eyed Amid Alexis Sanchez, Mesut Ozil Rumours

Anyway there is a web site somewhere that the old timers at the Star have read and put through their Google translator and discovered, well, something or other.   He “has found his game time severely limited at the start of the 2017-18 season after PSG signed Neymar and Kylian Mbappe during the summer.”   Headline to come: Arsenal reduced to picking up PSG rejects.

Next please

3: Lewandowksi wants out at Bayern; Arsenal-Real swap talk

LEWANDOWSKI WANTS REAL MOVE (ie not a fantasy move)

Sky Sports’ ‘Spanish football expert’ Guillem Balague claims Robert Lewandowski wants to move Real Madrid.  And this is really annoying because I have done 10 words that people use and “claims” wasn’t on the list.  Can you believe it?

The Bayern Munich frontman is under contract until June 2021 and will have a hug price tag with the Bundesliga giants, but Balague says he wants out.

“He will try everything he can to make the move to Real Madrid next summer. It doesn’t mean he will move but he has told his agent that’s where he wants to go next,” Balague told Sky Sports.

And next

4: ALEXIS SANCHEZ DESPERATE TO JOIN REAL MADRID

Real Madrid are planning a January raid for Alexis Sanchez after admitting they are a striker short this season.

5: Arsenal could still land German star in January

That’s Julian Draxler

6: Arsenal to make move for Brazilian attacker ahead of January window

 According to a report in the Express (a fanatical neo Nazi paper read by the over 80s), Arsenal will make a move to try and sign out-of-favour Paris Saint-Germain attacker Lucas Moura this winter.  Oh, but we’ve mentioned him already.  Damn!
So there we are.  All the rumours complete with a translation.   What more do you want this gloomy evening?
.

5 comments to What exactly does it mean when Arsenal are on red alert over a player spotted at the airport?

  • dats

    Re No6 – Schweinhund I am only 73!

  • ron

    interestingly enough people over would have had their childhoods disrupted by the nazis

  • ron

    sorry missed out the 80 after over

  • Peter Kay

    Strange how the Left perpetuate this nonsense of “fanatical neo-Nazi” is aimed at any one that doesn’t hold their point of view. Of course, it is convenient to use the abbreviation “Nazi” because it is short for “National SOCIALISM”, and Socialism has killed more people in this world than any other political system. Keep up the propaganda, though – it amuses me.

  • Ideological socialism, would work!

    I didn’t know the abbreviation, thanks.

    Lucas Moura, is not for us, selling Giroud to recruit Robert, well sorry, even if he is somewhat more mobile and clinical, not a good deal.

    Heard the Rabiot, but how do we accommodate him, it’s a Mo upgrade, but not much difference, also, his mum (agent) said apparently the team must have a DM and accompany him in a 3 man midfield, which I think is fair enough. Kante is available. 😀 This deal is not what we need right now, it’s about as sensible as Mueller, and I like Mueller, but where do we put him, especially if Ozil is the one convincing him to join.

    Julian Draxler does work, and he can cross, but, well I still keep my 28yo Alexis.

    We are not linked with anyone remotely sensible, the big news now Welbeck out. Since we aren’t likely to be losing for a little while!

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