Is it football that is mad or the whole of society? Or just me?

By Tony Attwood

Consider, if you have a moment, 13 incidents.

1:  A Newcastle fan apparently punched a police horse.

2.  Millwall fans fighting, and the allegations flow in.  It was due to tickets being sold to fans of other clubs who deliberately came along for a fight.  Err, no it wasn’t.  OK it was Millwall fans who don’t normally go to games but wanted a bit of the big time.  Nope not that either.  Or well, we don’t know, let’s punish someone anyone.

What the media can’t get a hold of is the notion that there are vast areas of difference and disagreement between fans of each and every individual club.  Arsenal has the AAA vs the people who believe that you should always support the team, the manager and the club.   Or put it another way the “We want our Arsenal back” groupings, against though who patiently say, “What Arsenal?  Which era are we talking about here?  Which decade?  Which year?”

Funny thing the media, if no one breaks rank, no one publishes what football followers observe a lot of the time.  We, the fans, are a tribe.  And within each tribe there are sub-tribes jostling for position.

Poor little media men and women, always off the boil.  Poor fans, stylised for the sake of media unity.

3:  Football violence in the USA where everything is (we are told) squeaky clean and managed.   George John of FC Dallas was hit by a bottle thrown from the crowd, and oh no shock shock shock it came from the FC Dallas section of the crowd.  How could this be?  Oh, hang on…

4:  “It is always unacceptable to throw anything onto the field of play” trumpet the media.  But what about the reverse where so much more damage can be done?  Throw a coin on the pitch and it is likely to miss.  Of course the person doing it should be expelled from the ground for ever, that’s a given.  But a player throwing a coin at the crowd is bound to hit someone.  So what should we do?  Punish him to eternity?

Oh I know.  A three match ban.  Jamie Carragher did it and Highbury and that’s what he got.  But then its always been one law for the rich…

5:  The FA launches an investigation into... well anything you like.   What is an FA investigation like?  What does it do?  Read the papers I suppose – because the FA launch so many enquiries there is nothing else they can do but flip through the back pages.   So they investigate Stockport after the fans ran onto the pitch and attacked players during a Blue Square game between Kidderminster and Stockport. Perhaps we should all play water polo or that game with mallets and hoops – except mallets are dangerous weapons.

6:  People call behaviour “a disgrace” and when they want a variant they call it “disgraceful”.   “Coming on to the pitch and assaulting somebody oversteps the mark,” said A Player.   The chair of Kidderminster said it was down to a “a very, very small minority” of supporters.

So maybe that is the problem people have to fight because we have run out of language to describe anything.  If someone ever uses any new form of expression to describe an event in or around a football match it will be the end of the world.

7:  We can’t do nothing, never, ever.  Try this quote for size: “Our stewards and police have worked tremendously hard … yes, of course, we will address any ways in which we might be able to improve but that is perfectly natural. Intelligence from Stockport going into the game told us there was no substantial risk of trouble … unfortunately, you cannot legislate for the mentality of a very, very small minority.”

Intelligence?  Small minority?

Well actually you can legislate.  Very few people commit murder in the UK – it is a tiny minority, but we legislate against it.   But why did the press not pick on such a statement, rather than just carrying it?

Oh yes, I remember… let’s blame someone else.

8:  Stockport’s chief executive, Ryan McKnight, said of Kidderminster club,  “They are totally to blame. The game should have been all-ticket and it wasn’t policed inside the ground.”  Probably because Kidderminster wouldn’t pay them, and beside the police were all too busy stopping their police horses being punched.

9:  A mass brawl broke out in a Copa Libertadores game after Gremio coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo apparently made fun of the Huachipato manager and players.   TV replays showed Luxemburgo “laughing” at the manager of the opposition.  Huachipato players attacked Luxemburgo, according to reports.

“I didn’t say anything or provoke anyone. I saw they were looking to fight so I ran off,” Luxemburgo said.  As would I.  Except the opposition claimed in a newspaper that, “He tried to make fun of us… That’s unsporting conduct. He said we should go on holiday, making a gesture with his hand.”

Ah well, the hand gesture.  Pretty powerful stuff.

10.   Around 100 hooded supporters (or as they say in the press “supporters” or “so called supporters” or “hooligans”) waving sticks broke into the changing rooms at the Argentine second division club Huracan, beat up the players and stole their money and clothes.

And this wasn’t even at a match, it was after a training day.  Coach Jose Maria Llop said, “They hit some of the lads. When we left, the physical trainer’s car and some others had been scratched and the tyres burst. There were eight other cars in that state. They also took money from players.”

Dangerous business, this training lark.

10.  The Football League ignores its own rules by letting West Ham play at the Olympic Stadium.   According to the papers… “Less than a month after announcing that he would drop his legal action if he failed to win a judicial review over Leyton Orient’s exclusion from the tenancy deal struck for the London 2012 centrepiece, Barry Hearn performed a dramatic about-turn.”

No he didn’t, he either changed his mind, or was misquoted by the press.

“We are not going to be bullied by the big boys,” said Mr Hearn.  “We have enough resources and enough friends on our side to take this fight well into the next decade, if necessary. We want a groundshare at the Olympic Park and we think we have an unanswerable case for that being the real legacy of the Olympics.”

He also said, “Anyone with a brain can see West Ham moving half a mile up the road and giving away free tickets would have an adverse effect on this football club.”  Mr Hearn also said the WHU deal was “the most unbelievable deal of state sponsorship and state subsidy that I’ve ever seen.”

11:  Ross County and St Mirren vetoed a new league system in Scotland, which was so complex that no one could understand it.  Well ok, I’ll be fair.  I couldn’t understand it.  Unfortunately the rest of Scottish football forgot to set up a plan B.

But hang on, the SFA have said that they have had enough of this democracy lark in which the rules of voting are laid down and then you abide by the decision.  No.  They don’t like the result so they will impose a new set-up as long as the required majority of clubs  in other leagues are in favour of such an outcome.

“This will require a mandate to the Scottish FA from both the Scottish Premier League and the Scottish Football League, so that positive changes to improve Scottish football’s future can be proposed without the threat of legal recourse or judicial review,” the SFA.  And the mention that a vote had taken place in accordance with the rules?  No, nothing on that.  Bugger democratic process for a lark.

A statement from SFL chief executive David Longmuir said, “The Board of the Scottish Football League wishes to convey its thanks to the governing body for its offer of assistance at this time.

Well you would.

12.  Liverpool’s MD, Ian Ayre, says all the club’s future transfers will be decided by committee rather than Brendan Rodgers being allowed full control of recruitment.

This is how Arsenal used to do it in the period 1893 to 1897, so good to see Liverpool catching up.

Anyway that awfully nice Rodgers fellow is now part of a recruitment team rather than accepting the traditional managerial authority to buy and sell. Dave Fallows is head of recruitment, Barry Hunter is chief scout, and the head of analysis Michael Edwards has taken up the job of target assessment.

B. Rodgers said last year that he would not work for a director of football, so its a good job no one is called that.  “It’s absolute madness if you are the manager of the club and someone else tells you to have that player,” he said last July. “It doesn’t work.”

FSG who own Liverpool got a little miffed after the last director of football Damien Comolli spent £110 million in one year.

Lucky 13: Back to the FA who said that having the FA Cup final between two northern teams at 5:15pm was a good thing, even though Wigan and Man C fans won’t be able to get back to northern parts.  It is unlikely anyone is going to make the last trains back, but the FA said it was all right because,

“The FA would like to highlight that 5.15pm is a regular kick-off time in the football calendar.  This time was agreed with major stakeholders and broadcasters and has been used across the game for a number of years for televised matches. In terms of transportation, a small percentage of cup final fans use the method of train travel.”

So now we know, fans are not stakeholders any more.