- Silvestre is apparently still not ready to play, but should be ok for midweek.
- Carlos Vela is still asleep having driven all the way back from Mexico in a Ford Mondeo which broke down in Iceland. Could be redirected straight to the first Champs match.
- Nasri is uncertain, but then that’s what we are told each time.
- Bendtner scored again for Denmark, so will be interested in starting if not at the weekend then certainly mid-week.
- Adebayor could be anywhere – possibly is rowing back from his no-show at the airport.
- Dennis Bergkamp has retired and won’t be playing
- Peter Storey is in France, and said to be a little out of condition so won’t be playing in midfield.
- Theo is currently walking on the ceiling and no one has worked out how to get him down yet.
- I’m recovering from a good night out but should be available for occasional shouting at the man who demands to be called “The Guvnor”.