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MY EXTREME FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM .
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From The Brickfields Gunners Blog .
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Do you remember that great old football ad from Nike where the devil ‘s team took on the stars of world football? No? Here quickly watch it and get up to speed.
‘After Chelsea’s poor start to the season, manager Jose Mourinho said winning the title “was a job for Mission Impossible star Tom Cruise”.‘ , caught my eye (the full article here) and got me thinking, and salivating, and suddenly all hungry. Stop ringing the goddamn bell , Palov!
What with all those injuries , the transfer window about to open in 40 days time and all those swirling and tantalising but fake rumours have got the fans braying for new players to strengthen the team and for the club to spend some more fucking money. That the players may not be worth the fee or be available nor may not even want to come and sit on the bench, escapes them.
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From their armchairs , they feel that they know what is best for their respective clubs , and the manager and board are all fools and probably ‘nicking a living ‘!
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This despite never having played the game at any respected level or never having coached or managed a team. How difficult could it be? Some of them probably made millions playing Fantasy Football Manager, or have won big from those poor betting companies .
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Which comes to the point (or pointlessness!) of this article – who would you chose to be in your team? Irrespective of the fact that they are not available, not keen to move , not affordable , not actively playing , are not even real players , never existed other than in comics, in movies or in TV shows , or in your imagination.
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In short , a real fantasy football team. But they embody all the characteristics that YOU feel is needed for your team. So go for it! Or click dislike! Or start moaning .
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Anyway this is the team from the BBC article – check out the above article on the merits and reasons for their selection .
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Peter Parker – ( Spiderman )
Dr Emmett Brown Rocky Balboa The Joker Johnny Depp
The Incredible Hulk Arnold Schwarzenegger
Forrest Gump Santiago MunezThe Flash
Ted Striker
My team would have the following…
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THE MIGHTY THOR
MacGYVER JOHNNY STORM DR. STRANGE
HANNIBAL LECTER OBI WAN KENOBI
JOHN RAMBO BEN GRIM REED RICHARDS CHUCK NORRIS
THE BIG BOSS
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The reasoning behind the selection –
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GK – The Big Boss @ Bruce Lee. As his eye -hand co-odination was awesome, nothing would go past him. All you’d see is a blur of hands and legs before you feel the pain! Check this out.
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RB – Chuck Norris – Would anyone in his right senses ever go against him? Or even dare to look at him?
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CB – Reed Richard @ Mister Fantastic – All arms and legs stretching sinews to the max in the heart of defence .
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CB – Ben Grimm @ The Thing – (Built (and looks) like a brick wall and strikers will know only pain when they hit the barrier!)
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LB – John Rambo – Takes no prisoners ; draws First Blood and neither asks nor gives any quarter and clears the path when he bombs forward!)
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MDM – Obi Wan Kenobi – With his array of Jedi mind tricks and skill, the Force is strong in this Wan!
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DM – Dr. Hannibal Lecter – The Monster DM everyone has been crying for! This ought to be finger licking good! Slurp!
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LAM /W- Dr. Strange – A skilled athlete and martial artist with substantial medical and magical knowledge, and enough of the dark arts to mesmerise and flummox everyone! Conjures chances and goals from nothing.
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RAM/W – Johnny Storm @ The Human Torch – Will light up the right side of the pitch with his youth , pace and burning ambition!
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CA M – MacGyver – With his brilliant resourcefulness and craft he’ll open up any defence, and very much like the mosquito , won’t wait for an opening , but will make one!
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CF – THE MIGHTY THOR – By ODIN’s beard, he’ll hammer the opposition defences senseless!
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On the bench would not probably be The Incredible Hulk, as he must be serving another accumulated red cards suspension!
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Sue Storm would probably be there to support the other 3 of the Fantastic Four but no can see her in her Invisible Girl mode . Oh , she just kicked the PIGMOB referee in the nads – WOO HOO , HOO – you go girl!
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And can you see this team doing the Hakka before each game ? What about you ? Who would you summon to save your team ?
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Anniversary…
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Already chosen from today’s archives before the article was selected for this evening’s post, was this gem. It is rather appropriate…
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27 November 1877: Leigh Roose, one of the most famous players of the age, and at Arsenal player at the end of his career, was born. He was educated in Wrexham where it is said, in the course of one football match, Roose’s brother Edward kicked H.G. Wells, then a teacher at the school, so hard in the back that he ruptured the author’s kidney.
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If you don’t know the rest of the Leigh Roose story, do click on the link and read more.
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Any place for Clark Savage Jr? How about any of the Kinnisons? Roderick (the Rock), Kimball, etc.
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Bell ringing reference I believe.
Ива́н Петро́вич Па́влов https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Pavlov
For Belgium comic strip lovers I would take Jerommeke from the series of Suske & Wiske. Talking about a beast of a defensive midfielder… that is one… http://www.google.be/imgres?imgurl=http://www.jerommeke.org/jerom1.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.jerommeke.org/&h=138&w=148&tbnid=gKvLqkM9Mag4lM:&docid=MjzrXuCS2SPh0M&ei=IKdYVsGlG4GvabuhqOAL&tbm=isch&ved=0ahUKEwjBtZvho7HJAhWBVxoKHbsQCrwQMwgzKAIwAg
Heres mine.Best laugh in ages Bricks, more articles please.What about Ladies team?
bigfoot
DDayDawson Crusher Lisowski The Godfather(Pacino not Brando) The Yeti
Sauron The devil Mike Strutter Darth Vader
God Mr T
subs(squad): Jeff Wode ( “i dont like you so Im going to rip your head off”)
Shrek
Big John (big bad John)
The Balrog from LOTR
Lt Col.Ronald C Speirs
The Invisible man
The Passover Angel
The Kraken
Indra leader of the Devas
The Blob
The four horsemen of the Apocalypse ( special Blatter rule four = 1, I gave him a bung)
John Wayne
Joe Pesci character in The Goodfellas
Duane Hall ( from Annie Hall)
OK, i’ll take the first 9 members of the Justice League, then add Braniac and Darkseid to the mix. Big comic fan. 🙂
I would take Dr Who, a tardis brings hindsight into reality.
And probably Dr Quinn medicine woman
Would you really want Hannibal Lecter in the team? Would you trust him in the Physio room with any of the other players? One classless bit of banter (the norm for a footy team) and he’d be thinly slicing his teammates frontal lobes.
Although Obi-wan is a good idea with his powers of suggestion. We may get a slightly more even deal off the PGMO (Blind Mike Dean excluded of course).
There’s actually a DC comics character called Arsenal ( Roy Harper ) who should qualify.
Here’s the team to beat all of the above every time, without fail, guaranteed…..
Petr
Hector
Kos
Per
Nacho
Coq
Santi
Ozil
Alexis
Theo
Giroud
Brownie points please for being the most faithful Gooner on the page!!!
What other heroes could you want?
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Allez les Gunners!
franco nero
clint eastwood
lee van cleef
the magnificent seven
john wayne (c)
All of my choices are cerebral to some extent.
Clark Savage Jr. is the proper name for “Doc” Savage. Sort of like a more athletic Indiana Jones.
The Kinnisons are a family in E.E.”Doc” Smith’s Lensman Series. The Arisian’s were doing a bit of selective breeding on Earth, to produce two families that could at the end point by allowed to marry and produce young. Virgil Samms was one of the people in the “other” family to the Kinnison’s. The most developed aspect of these people was mental, but all of the Kinnison’s were athletic and skilled in 0g fighting.
I think Dec is cheating by picking a current Arsenal line up. 🙂
Lots of other interesting choices.
No fictional superheroes for me:
GK – Lev Yashin (USSR)
RFB -Hector Bellrin
CB – Sol Campbell
Laurent Koscielny
LFB -Monreal
DM – Patrick Viera
Silva
AM – Cristiano Ronaldo
Lionel Messi
CF – Thierry Henry
Dennis Bergkamp
On the beach George Best, Puskas, DiStefano, Buffon, Matthews, Finney, Kruyff
I put some very famous names on the beach because I have some doubt about their abilities to play the fast-paced, vicious game modern Football has become or because they were not mentally stable at times.
Thanks guys for joining in the this fun ‘fantasy football ‘ . Great stuff . Just saw this as I was busy yesterday. Will have to check out all your suggestions as many are not familiar to me .
@ Kenneth Widmerpool November 27, 2015 at 7:54 pm – Your selection of Sauron caught my eye ! Just like it would catch the elbows of Martin Škrtel and his ilk and render him blind ! But then again just that ‘look’ from him would render the opposition insane !
An interesting choice , Indra , I see you have brushed up on your Hindu mythology ! He does possess a array of fine fire power and hot zingers to bring down the opposition !
As for the 4 horsemen , the fine print would show that they would all have to be on one horse – not a problem really as they all get along well with each other !
A ladies team you say ? The Invisible Girl and Dr.Quinn have already been pick . What about God ? She is female isn’t she ?
Wonder Woman?
How about the East German Women’s weightlifting team from a few steroid injections ago?
@ Gord November 28, 2015 at 2:51 am – When you mentioned the Kinisons , mind went to Sam Kinison . Glad that I was wrong ! Check him out here –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ5-IjxuHxI
And on a cold rainy and flooded night in January at Stoke , where the super heroes’ value are often measured ; AW suddenly stands up and shouts for the 70th minute substitution from the bench ( What ? Everyone knows that’s what he does !) , ” Release The Kraken !” , which would chill the bones of even those hardened Orcs !
Heroes the lot of them .
A British SAS squad and an American Marines squad are together in the middle of a city. The commanding officers of each group are discussing the merits of SAS vs Marines: these officers have reputations for being the strongest, toughest and most feared men in the whole of the armed forces.
The American squad leader turns to the British officer and says, “My Marines are so much braver than your SAS.”
“I doubt that very much,” says the SAS officer.
“They are much braver,” says the American. “Watch this.”
The American squad leader turns to one of his Marines and shouts, “SERGEANT!! Climb to the very top of that building and jump off.”
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“SIR, YES SIR,” shouts the sergeant. The sergeant runs inside the building, runs to the top and without a second’s thought, jumps off the top of the building and smashes into the ground. He survives, but is very badly injured and gets taken away on a stretcher. The American leader turns to the SAS officer and says, “Now that’s bravery.”
“Yeah? Well watch this,” says the British officer. He turns to his men and bellows at the top of his voice, “YOU, PRIVATE, CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THAT BUILDING AND JUMP OFF.”
The private looks at the officer and says, “Sir, GO SCREW YOURSELF, Sir.”
The Officer turns around to the American and says, “You see? THAT’S bravery.”
We could use THE HULK(from Marvel) for the “rugby games” 🙂 SMASH?
no Tsubasa from Captain Tsubasa as striker?:)
Often I see words which aren’t there in the news. But I hadn’t a clue about Tsubasa.
I went looking, it seems to be anime.
The closest I could guess at, was Kubasa, which is another name (probably a bastardisation) of Kielbasa (Ukrainian kovbasa). Sometimes shortened to Kubie in my part of the world. A Polish Sausage.
And I just couldn’t see why you would want a Polish sausage playing. Next thing you know, Walter is going to want Bratwurst on the team.
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I would have Klaus Micaelson and his elder brother Elijah Micaelson, both are are Vampires from the TV series ‘The Originals’. However Klaus is a Hybrid of Vampire and WereWolf and cannot Die and Loves to Suck the Blood out of Incompetent Referees especially Mike Dean.