By Sir Hardly Anyone
- 115 incoming transfer rumours – almost all of them wrong
- 22 players who were about to leave Arsenal – most are still with us.
- Total failure to spot the actual transfers ahead of activity – except in one case.
So here it is, although sometimes it seemed it would never get here. The list of all the players who were linked to Arsenal both in the run up to the “window” and during it.
First though, the final competition of the Index era. We asked you to make up phrases with each word starting with L I V E R P O O L in turn.
Here are the best three as judged by Sir Hardly Anyone and Ima Counter:
- League Is Very Elusive Remembering Past Only Option Left
- Lackluster Indifferent Value Entirely Representing Pathetic Over-hyped Obnoxious Losers
- Liars in vogue encompasses real passion on only losers
In the final few days of the aperture opening we had what has now become the notorious link with Daniel Sturridge (a fancy if ever there was one, although we liked the comment “Shkodran Mustafi would be a disastrous player for Valencia to sell, according to la Liga expert Graham Hunter,”) and a lot of hot air about Miguel Almiron.
James Rodriquez was mentioned in last moment dispatches, as was Alexandre Lacazette, as well as Villarreal’s Mateo Musacchio and Roma’s Kostas Manolas. Plus such wonders as Newcastle’s Chancel Mbemba becomes the latest player linked with the Gunners after a deal for Shkodran Mustafi reportedly broke down, with Valencia not allowing the player to leave.
The Guardian was its usual self with, “Arsenal, after identifying Shkodran Mustafi as the centre-back that they wanted, refused to provide the £30m that Valencia requested; in the meantime, they seized one point from their first two league games. And now, having been told to pay his £43m release clause, they have somehow convinced themselves that the answer to their problems is “Philip Jones”.”
Then the Star got themselves completely back to front suggestion “BOURNEMOUTH have reportedly entered the race for Arsenal ace Calum Chambers.” While the Sunday Express told us Marcelo Brozovic was coming our way.
There were more and more but it was all rubbish. In the end just about the only transfer that anyone got right significantly ahead of the last few days when the story broke everywhere was Holding, and he got very little coverage – but turned out to be brilliant.
What was interesting was that through the whole series people didn’t always seem to get that the point of it all was that we were trying to show what a “nicking a living” bunch the football journalists are. I mean I though the name Sir Hardly Anyone was a bit of a clue (it’s not my real name you know!!!) But the commentary by Jambug – hit the nail on the head in the last index
So, it really was quite a big enterprise, but we got there and did it. There was one guy who wrote in and said that he did this most years and normally got far higher figures than ours, but he declined to give us more details, so I am still thinking we were the first people to do this.
For this final version I’ve just stuck with the three main lists that we developed.
Part One: Players coming in. New entries and significant changes are in bold.
Player | Position | From | Current status | Also interested | ||
1 | Aymen Abdennour | centre back | Valencia | |||
2 | Miguel Almiron, | Attacking midfield | Cerro Porteno | |||
3 | Ethan Ampadu | centre back | Exeter | He’s 15 | Tottenham tracking | |
4 | Takuma Asano (浅野拓磨) | Forward | Sanfrecce Hiroshima | is 21 and has played 50 times | Signed, but Guardian says no work permit. | |
5 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | Forward | B. Dortmund | Being urged to leave | Man U | |
6 | Carlos Bacca | 49 goal striker | Milan | We’re hijacking the deal! | Arsenal seen off WHU | |
7 | Michy Batshuayi | Striker | Marseille | £22m asking price | Chelsea | |
8 | Riechedly Bazoer | Cen mid. | Ajax | Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham | ||
9 | Medhi Benatia | Centre back | Bayern | 29 years old prone to injury | ||
10 | Christian Benteke | Striker | Liverpool? | Only done one year at Liverpool? | ||
11 | Gabriel Barbosa | Santos | 54 goals in 148 appearances | |||
12 | Rodrigo Bentancur | Midfield | Boca Juniors | Real Mad, Juve | ||
13 | Karim Benzema | Striker | Real Mad | Involved in court case | ||
14 | Daley Blind | Defence | Man U | |||
15 | Sofiane Boufal | Forward | Lille | £25m after one year in France | Barcelona, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid | |
16 | Marcelo Brozovic | Box to box midfielder | Inter | Everyone wants him! | Not quite sure why we need a box to box midfielder at this moment. | |
17 | Wilfred Bony | Striker | Man City | |||
18 | Sam Byram | RB or midfield | WHU | Previously of Leeds | ||
19 | William Carvalho | Def mid | Sporting Lisbon | |||
20 | Edinson Cavani | Striker | PSG | He’d like to come | ||
21 | Ben Chilwell | Left-back | Leicester | “Arsenal monitoring” | ||
22 | Troy Deeney | Striker | Watford | WFC captain | ||
23 | Jason Denayer | Defender | Man C | £10m | ||
24 | Julian Draxler | Left wing | Wolfsburg who say he’s going nowhere | £43m offer made. No, £54m | Liverpool sniffing but that’s what they do | |
25 | Jonny Evans | Defender | Was Man U, now WBA | £15m offer made | ||
26 | Frederico Fernandez | Defender | Swansea | A double swoop from Swansea | ||
27 | Rachid Ghezzal | winger | Lyon | Gets injured a lot | ||
28 | Matthias Ginter | centre back | Borussia Dortmund | |||
29 | Mario Götze | Attack midfield | Bayern Munich | Flopped after Dortmund | Liverpool. Gone to BvB | |
30 | Antoine Griezmann | Forward | Atletico Madrid | |||
31 | Goncalo Guedas | Wing | Benfica | Next C Ronaldo | Chelsea | |
32 | Raphaël Guerreiro | Left-back midfield | Lorient | |||
33 | Alen Halilovic. | Attack midfield | Barcelona | Last season loan to Sporting Gijon, | ||
34 | Marek Hamsik | Attack midfield | Napoli | His father is demanding more money | ||
35 | Rico Henry | Full back | Walsall | Next Ashley Cole | ||
36 | Gonzalo Higuain | Striker | Napoli | £79m but no offer made | Man U, Liverpool? Went to Juve | |
37 | Rob Holding | Defender | Bolton | £1.5m already signed | He signed | |
38 | Elseid Hysaj | Right back | Napoli | Staying at Napoli | ||
39 | Zlatan Ibrahimovic | Striker | PSG | Self proclaimed God | Went to Man U | |
40 | Mauro Icardi | Striker | Inter | £32m bid made deal very close | Wife says they need the money. Club says it wants €60 million. Arsenal offering ££££££ plus Giroud | |
41 | Odion Ighalo | Striker | Watford | |||
42 |
Lorenzo Insigne’s |
Striker |
Napoli |
|||
43 | Chiori Johnson | Defender | Aged 18, | Signed pro forms | ||
44 | Jorginho | “Strongest midfielder” | Napoli | Neil Banfield likes him | ||
45 | Stevan Jovetic | 2nd striker | Inter | 1st mooted two years ago | ||
46 | N’Golo Kante | Midfield | Leicester | Won the most tackles | Done Deal but not with AFC | |
47 | Naby Keita | Central mid | Red Bull Salzburg | |||
48 | Simon Kjær | Centre back | Fenerbache | |||
49 | Lukas Klostermann | Defender | Red Bull Leipzig | |||
50 | Toni Kroos | No 10 | Real Madrid | £45m | ||
51 | Grzegorz Krychowiak | Midfield destroyer | Sevilla | Another done deal elsewhere | ||
52 | Kalidou Koulibaly | centre back | Napoli | Signed and Sealed but… | Dependent on Chambers going. Arsenal at the front of the queue | |
53 | Alexandre Lacazette | Forward | Lyon – now injured | French League top scorer 2014.15 | Said he wanted to leave and come to AFC and then immediately got injured | |
54 | Mario Lemina | Juventus | £16m bid rejected | Watford interested | ||
55 | Robert Lewandowski | Striker | Bayern | About to break the bank | ||
56 | Ademola Lookman | Striker | Charlton | “Cant stop scoring” | 18 years old | |
57 | Jordon Lukaku | Left back | Oostende | Told Mr Wenger how to manage! | ||
58 | Romelu Lukaku | Striker | Everton | Broke Everton’s PL scoring record | Offer of £38m made | |
59 | Mario Mandzukic | Forward | Juventus | He has emerged as an option | ||
60 | Sadio Mane | Winger | Southampton | BBC say he’s gone to Liverpool | ||
61 | Kostas Manolas | Centre back | Roma | for £38m deal agreed? | Maybe to Chelsea | |
62 | Jeremy Mathieu | Defender | Barcelona | for 12m euros | He’s 32. | |
63 | Maycon | Midfield | Corinthians | new Ronaldo or Neymar or both. Or neither. | ||
64 | Marquinhos | Defender | PSG | His brother says AFC want him | Man U Man C Chelsea and Bayern Munich | |
65 | Riyad Mahrez | Wing | Leicester | £25m Considered him while at Le Havre | Has now agreed to join Arsenal according to reports from Algeria | |
66 | Kostas Mitroglou | Striker | Benfica | “Happy in Portugal” | ||
67 | Arkadiusz Milik | Striker | Ajax | Gone to Napoli | ||
68 | Henrikh Mkhitaryan | Midfield | B Dortmund | Went to Man U | Liverpool! Chelsea, Tottenham | |
69 | Chancel Mbemba | Defender | Newcastle | |||
70 | Alvaro Morata | Striker | Juventus (loan) Real Mad | “About to happen” | Snubbing Chelsea for Arsenal. Really, really wants Arsenal. | |
71 | Jeison Murillo | Central defender | Inter | Columbian Talks have started | Bayern Munich and Zenit | |
72 | Shkodran Mustafi . | Defender | Valencia | Anything between £20m and £33m | Arsenal have made an offer. Now the firm favourite to be signed. “Deal done” | |
73 | Mateo Musacchio | Central defender | Villareal | |||
74 | Ruben Neves | Defend midfield | Porto | |||
75 | Nolito | Striker | Celta Vigo | £13.8m buy out clause. Done deal elsewhere | ||
76 | Kelechi Nwakali | Midfield | Diamond Academy | Already joined for £3m | WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool? | |
77 | Gaston Pereiro | Midfield | PSV | Played 30 scored 12 this last season | ||
78 |
Lucas Perez |
Attack |
Deportivo |
Passed medical | ||
79 | Philipp Ochs | Midfield | Hoffenheim | 19 year old | ||
80 | Oguzhan Ozyakup | Midfield | Besiktas | In the 2009 AFC Youth Cup side | Won the Turkish league in 2016; will cost £16.8m | |
81 | Bruno Peres | Full back | Torino | £16.9m | ||
82 | Quincy Promes | Winger | Spartak Moscow | |||
83 | Domingos Quina | Midfield | Chelsea | |||
84 | Adrien Rabiot | Midfield | PSG | Asked for a move, not liked by fans | Chelsea, Man U | |
85 | Rafinha | RB | Bayern Munich | Metro utterly certain | ||
86 | Jese Rodriguez | Forward | Real Mad | Surplus to requirements | Now at PSG | |
87 | Ricardo Rodriguez | Left back | Wolfsburg | £20m | ||
88 | Maxi Romero | Forward | All Boys, Argentina | The new Messi | We were going to sign him last year but he got injured | |
89 | Daniele Rugani | Centre back | Juventus | Can’t get a game. | Man U, Everton, Napoli | |
90 | Erik Tobias Sandberg | Defender | Norwegian schoolboy | Under 17 | Man U | |
91 | Douglas Santos | Left back | Atlético Mineiro | |||
92 | Riccardo Saponara | Attack midfield | Empoli | Liverpool? | ||
93 | Fabian Schar | Defender | Hoffenheim | |||
94 | Ryan Sessegnon | Winger | Fulham | Liverpool? | ||
95 | Djibril Sidibé | Full back & midfield | Lille | Cover at full back | “Now gone to Monaco, Arsenal too slow” | |
96 | Moussa Sissoko | midfield | Newcastle | £35m | Sun now says “very likely” | |
97 | Islam Slimani | Striker | £23.25m Sporting Lisbon | £23.25m | Tottenham, Leicester | |
98 | Dominic Solanke | striker | Chelsea | Chelsea want to keep him | Arsenal preparing to steal him | |
99 | John Stones | CB | Everton | Now Man City | ||
100 | Daniel Sturridge | Striker | Liverpool? | “Will reportedly…” | “Tried last year” | |
101 | Neven Subotic | Defender | Borussia Dortmund | Has left training to talk to Arsenal | ||
102 | Omer Toprak | Centre back | Bayer Leverkusen | |||
103 | Yaya Toure | C Mid | Man City | |||
104 | Arda Turan | Attack midfield | Barcelona | 29, and wants to stay | Struggled at Barca. Telegraph celebrated fake coverage of transfer | |
105 | Robin van Persie | Forward | Fenerbache | “We’re waiting for buyers” | ||
106 | Jamie Vardy | Forward | Leicester | £20m | Signed but kept it a secret or he’s off to Liverpool. | |
107 | Thomas Vermaelen | Centre defence | Barcelona | He’s fit again. Barcelona seriously considering Arsenal’s offer. Oh, Gone to Roma | ||
108 | Victor Wanyama | Def. midf. | Southampton | Done deal elsewhere. | ||
109 | Julian Weigl | Midf. | Borussia Dortmund | £20 million | ||
110 | Ashley Williams | Defender | Swansea | But heading for Everton | To replace the voice left by Per. | |
111 | Granit Xhaka | Defend/ midfield | Monchengladbac | “Deal done” He signed. | Chelsea were rivals but failed. | |
112 | Andriy Yarmolenko | Winger | Dynamo Kiev | Tottenham Liverpool | ||
113 | Wissam Ben Yedder | Striker | Sevilla | “Could have joined Arsenal”: manager | WHAM, Totts, Leicester | |
114 | Simone Zaza | Forward | Juventus | |||
115 | Karl Zouma | Keeper | Chelsea | |||
Part Two Departures | ||||||
1 | Alexis | Forward | Juventus bids made | Asking for transfer | Agent trying to get move | |
2 | Arteta | End of career | ||||
3 | Bellerin | Full back | Barcelona | Now mulling over Man C deal | But also denied | |
4 | Joel Campbell | West Ham | But he wants to stay and fight for his place | Was loaned to Sporting. | ||
5 | Chambers | Centre back | Southampton or Watford? Bournemouth? | 1 year loan? | ||
6 | Debuchy | Been on loan | ||||
7 | Mat Flamini | midfield | End of contract | The last Highbury player to leave AFC | ||
8 | Kieran Gibbs | Defend | Unhappy | WHU offer rejected | ||
9 | Olivier Giroud | Forward | Napoli | Part exchange | “We’ve never talked to Napoli” | |
10 | Isaac Hayden | Centre back | Newcastle | |||
11 | Laurent Koscielny | Defend | Bayern | Contract talks stalled? End of contract? | Not end of contract | |
12 | Per Mertesacker | Defend | Considering his future | But got injured in pre-season | ||
13 | David Ospina | Goal | Besiktas | |||
14 | Alex Oxlade-Chamberlaine | Attack midf. | Manchester City | Currently in the best form of his life | ||
15 | Rosicky | End of contract | ||||
16 | Santi Cazorla | Mid/For | Back to Villareal | |||
17 | Mesut Ozil | Midfield | Delayed talks | |||
18 | Jon Toral | Midfield | To Granada | |||
19 | W. Szczesny | Goal | Roma | Happy in Rome | Returning to AFC. No, staying as part of Manolas deal. No staying on loan | |
20 | Theo Walcott | Wing | State Aid Utd or Liverpool? | £20m | On the verge; or maybe not going | |
21 | Wellington Silva | Fluminense on four-year deal | ||||
22 | Jack Wilshere | Midfield | Man U | They will build the team around him | Went to Bournemouth | |
Part Three: Coaching | ||||||
1 | Adam Birchall | Lead Development Phase coach | Works with under 16s | |||
2 | Thierry Henry | Under 18 | Left over TV issue | Became assistant manager for Belgium. | ||
3 | Tony Adams | Under 18 | 5 week trial | He left after a couple of weeks. | ||
4 | Arsene Wenger | Manager | In one year… | Will be replaced by … | ||
5 | Eddie Howe | Manager | In one year… | Replacing AW |
- 115 players we are looking to sign
- 22 players leaving
- 5 coaching changes
And with that we leave you.
- The Arsenal Youth System – Part 2 Comparisons with other clubs
- Top of the league and bottom of the league. Is Arsenal’s youth system working properly?
- Back to the Atlantic League: how proposals are afoot radically to change the face of English football
- Arsenal’s 25 man squad – The Final List (at least until January)
C’mon! Lets leave all this “linked to” stuff behind. It’s become soooh boring. The window is shut and it’s around 120 days to the next one. So please lets take a break and talk about more non repetitive Arsenal related matter.
The last splutterings lol!
Leon,
I’m sure that before the end of September we will be seeing the opening salvoes in the January transfer window players linked. Make the most of the brief period of relative tranquility.
Does put the media reports into perspective.
Some very good players have arrived in 2016, onwards and upwards …until the media madness starts again.
Yeah. 115 players linked is stupid, even if you assume that they got everyone of our transfers right, which they did not. Its flat out lying and making things up, and I find it very weird why people enjoy it.
If I’m honest, at one time I enjoyed it too – but once you know it is all fake, why would you *still* enjoy it? It doesn’t make sense IMO. Anyway, life goes on.
120 days till the next transfer window I saw arsenal liked to a new player yesterday.
The pain never stops gg
The transfer folly that the media encourages assuredly allows them to do numerous things they really enjoy and excel at(journalism not being one of them):
1)Pretend they know what is going on behind closed doors at the EPL Clubs,
2)Ridicule Wenger and Arsenal at will,
3)Quote each other as totally credible sources on transfers,
4)Exercise their imaginations in a fantasyland of Football folly,
5)Pump up their aaa fanboys by running this linear critique: X is coming to AFC, opps, Wenger is too cheap to pay the asking price for him, Once again all is lost because of the same old,same old, and We were the first to say we told you so!!!
Basically it is the REDTOP disease, using hyperbole and pure speculation to create a scenario and then deflating the idiotic reader who swallowed the bait hook,line and sinker! It is a way to mock the readers without overly risking anything.
Don’t forget the Twitter meltdown, another easy story to cut and paste for them.
Sir Hardly – you do cast some pearls before swine. There are so many words of wisdom beneath your posts yet some still ignore them like they have been trained by PGMO in selective vision.
Looking forward to the season & our squad of beautiful footballers.
I’m very glad that you decided to leave things with turning LIVERPOOL into an acronym. Could you imagine trying to do so with?
Borussia Mönchengladbach
I then went looking for long names. The longest I found is from Bangkok, Thailand.
Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit Bravo Association Football Club
………. Also known as Bangkok Bravo FC
I think you could probably curse the entire world with that name.
Gord
September 3, 2016 at 3:47 am
In my opinon my idea was turned into a 2nd rate idea once it was moved away from Spurs.
So how about something for
T
O
T
T
E
N
H
A
M
H
O
T
S
P
U
R
S
🙂 🙂 🙂
The
overrated
Tots
team
expect
nothing
haven’t
any
major
honors
or
trophies
serial
proper
underachievers
rarely
successful
Gord – you are hilarious sometimes. That Bangkok club would be ideal for a talkshite presenter. It would keep him off air for a long time.
Mick – great descriptional attributes for tots.
Menace
Talking of talkshite, yesterday they had Tony Cascarino on as a co-presenter. I have never heard such a load of nonsense from a pundit, it was truly a masterful example of an ignorant ex footballer trying his hardest to sound intelligent but failing miserably. He can talk for five minutes without actually saying anything of any value. He frequently starts a new sentence before completing the one he is currently on. He is even worse than another Talkshite presenter Micky Quinn, and that is really saying something. Remarkably he writes for the Times newspaper.
BIG NEWS!!
http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/10563358/mark-halsey-claims-he-was-told-to-say-he-hadnt-seen-incidents
The cracks are finally starting to show fellas!!
Jammy J, I can’t see why a Neville is upset with this. They were part of the problem.
The worst part of the transfer window is that we (and most other clubs) have so many truly gullible fans that lap up pretty much every single word of these hack journalists.
At least they’re just trying to earn a living.
The fans that think 2 guys from the same country must be great mates, so our player must want him to join us, so its just a ‘done deal’ except for our tight dithering manager.
The fans that want us to deal with the dodgiest of agents just because another team has low morals and will do business with them.
And so much more.
Really embarrassing.
In particular, Halsey referenced being told by PGMO to say that he did not see an incident, so that the FA could discipline someone. It seems reasonable the converse also happened, a referee being told to say that they seen an incident, so that further discipline by the FA could not happen.
I see the slime-bag Mino Raiola has called Klopp a ‘piece of shit’.
Hopefully in future other managers will appreciate that Raiola is a person they don’t want to deal with.