Arsenal signing complete as players queue to join Arsenal now the contract is announced.

 

By Sir Hardly Anyone.

And so we enter the next, and probably final, Wenger era.   And to commence the new coverage I saw this on the jolly old interweb thing

Trophies won since Arsène Wenger came to English football:

Arsenal – 16
Tottenham – 2

Spurs fans – “We want you to stay…”

I haven’t checked that 16 is the right number, and I am sure someone will be saying it includes the under 17 charity cup southern section, but it still makes me smile.

But now down to business.  Mr Wenger has given the indication that he will be making signings, and so here are the current dead racing certainties for players who may or may not be telling Arsenal that yes of course they will sign as long as they can be paid in Swiss Francs.   (Actually I think we nearly signed Swiss Franc last season).

1: Marco Reus.  (Metro, Express, Goal, Telegraph, Bleacher)

Transfer off after latest injury set-back for Borussia Dortmund star is the general news in the Metro, Express, Goal, Telegraph, and Bleacher.  But Goal says he would still be perfect.  Telegraph says he is the Alexis’ replacement.  The Express says “it isn’t true” but then they told us that a NASA probe found a child’s toy on Mars and that was true.  That is what I call a real break with the rules of the game.  A downbeat cheapskate newspaper saying a rumour is not true.  If we go on like that then, well, where will we be?

Bleacher says in one account “he almost signed” and in another “the rumour has been dismissed” while the Sun goes with “Who is Maro Reus?” – a question that they find it utterly beyond their ability to answer!  Well, it does have four words in the headline which is a record.

2: Henry Onyekuru

This time it is Goal’s turn to be utterly bemused and ask Who is Henry Onyekuru?” and they come to no clear conclusion.  Metro say the fee is agreed and tell the player to look at what happened to Holding.  In fact it is so agreed we now know the fee of £6.8m – meaning he is worth two and a bit Holdings.  The Express says the release clause is activated and and Sky Sprouts say the deal is done while The Set Pieces of whom I have never heard before tell us “the deal is done”.   So if two say it, it must be true and we are so behind the times I can only apologise.

3: Patrik Schick (Sampdoria)

The Sun says he’s wanted.  HITC says Tottenham want him too, although the staggering lack of ambition of their supporters (see above) might put him off.  Bor Dortmund are willing to pay the asking price (Sprout Talk), but he has not agreed to go (that’s the Sprout one day later), he’s only 21 (Daily Canon) and the Star says he has spoken out!    Arsenal and Tottenham to hold talks with Patrik Schick’s representatives – the Mail.  Donald Trump has said that the transfer is a Chinese hoax.

4: Thorgan Hazard  (Borussia Monchengladbach)

The Express says we have entered talks, Bleacher says we are interested.   The Sun in that curious lingo it has says we have “eyed” the transfer as have Everton.  Even the Birmingham Mail says we are on the job.  The Star indicates we are thinking about it.   Now the man on the BM terraces has stopped saying “Give us a B” in a chant that lasts 2 hours, maybe this is the one.  But is the Arsenal chant “Give us a midfielder?”  Who can say?

5: Josh Bowler (QPR)

He’s a QPR youngster  and the Mirror says Everton have offered £3m.  Team Talk have an exclusive, but it is much the same as these exclusives always are.  Shoot says Everton are in the lead.  A year ago I would have said “one for the future if we get him” but following what happened to a £3m buy from Notlob last summer you just never know.

6: Oriol Romeu (Southampton)

We tried to sign him from Barcelona in 2010, with Goal saying at the time we were “set to snatch” him, but he went to Chelsea.  In November 2015 the player said that Chelsea had told him to leave (the Express).  So then he went to Southampton, where this past season Sky Sports said he was “finally shining”.  Now the Mail says Barcelona want him back and apparently we want him too.

7: Ross Barkley (Everton)

He’s another midfielder in case you didn’t know, and it is going to cost Arsenal £50m as they “swoop” (Metro) or have set their sights on (Express) or are battling Tottenham (Express).  And the Mail have a nice take.  On 6 May he was priced at £30m and then on 17th at £50m.  It is like post-Brexit inflation come early.

8:  Sebastien Corchia (Lille)

Bleacher says he is the right back Mr W wants, and the Star says he has not “ruled out” a move to the PL, so the deal is as good as done. Goal has us targeting him, Metro has us planning a move, and Sportsmole make him a summer target.

9:  James Rodriguez (Real Mad)

He’s a forward, and apparently they are getting really mad at Real Mad and don’t want to let him go.  But the Star has gone completely berserk on this one saying that according to Spanish outlet Diario Gol, Real will use Rodriguez as a bargaining chip to land David De Gea in the summer.  Which is ok except their headline says “Rodriguez forced to join Man United.”  This modern slavery has to stop.

But in a new twist the Express has the headline “Arsenal mistake leaves midfielder free to join Man U”.  Yes we are back in the land of Arsenal mistakes.   According to them “Spanish outlet Don Balon claim the Gunners have handed a huge transfer boost to their rivals United.  The report says the projected transfer of David Ospina to Turkish side Fenerbache (which my spell checker wants to change of Offenbach) “could put a halt to Rodriguez’s move to the Emirates.”

My mate down at the Rutland Borough, County and District Unified Authority Council says that an outlet is a sewer pipe.

10: Marco Verratti (PSG)

The man from whom the Telegraph quoted the player saying, “I would rather not play football than change my style.”  Back in February the Mail said,  Arsenal and Chelsea have both shown an interest in Italian Marco … their pursuit of Paris Saint-Germain midfielder Marco Verratti is futile.  And there was I thinking it was resistance that was futile.

Then the Sun said, “Marco Verratti’s agent warns Arsenal and Chelsea ‘all the gold in the world’ won’t get you PSG midfielder.”   Then the Metro said, “Marco Verratti has delivered a blow to would-be suitors Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea by stating he expects to remain with PSG”.

I would say it is a dead cert in that case.

And one more player leaving

Today it is Monreal as Athletic Bilbao are” set to reignite their pursuit of Arsenal left-back Nacho Monreal this summer”.   That delightful sentence turned up in Thisisfutball and they blame Marca.

So there we are, another bunch.  If you want to see the players already said to be coming to Arsenal that full list is shown on the Index page.  Remember the transfer window opens in a month.

• Why did it take Wenger 29 games to change? Another made up story….
• Where do we draw the line?
• It appears Mr Wenger has a new two year contract. So what response should the anti-Wengerians make?
• Arsene, Arsenal, The FA Cup And The New Era…