By Sir Hardly Anyone
It is wet and windy here in the Independent People’s Republic of Greater Rutland, and that wetness is not caused by most of our beloved county being a lake. Arsenal don’t want any forwards, so we are in bidding for lots of forwards. We don’t need any more youngsters, so we are in bidding for 16 year olds.
Confused?
Don’t worry. You won’t be after this episode of “All the players Arsenal are going to buy or maybe not.”
1: Ousmane Dembele
The great revelation elsewhere is that ArsenalNews and Gunnersphere are both reporting the same story.
Both “outlets” as they like to be known now (in Rutland we call them drainpipes but that is another matter) run the tale that Arsenal are likely to be signing Dembele from Barcelona despite the fact that Mr Wenger has said that he really doesn’t need any more forwards.
And these bloggettas then ask, “Whether there is any truth in that…?” Well I never!
I think their point is summed up in the phrase that “The Frenchman has struggled with injuries and form since making the switch from Borussia Dortmund in the summer”.
So we have the standard story: Arsenal signing an injury prone forward we don’t need. Oh yes and apparently he is a good pal of Aubameyang and that “could play an important role.”
2: Who will be bought: the inside tale…
“Arsene Wenger drops huge hint on Arsenal transfer plans and his future” says Arsenal Fever before telling us what I think most of us worked out for ourselves, that there is no need for new attackers
3: New manager on the horizon
You might suspect that Arsenal know who they want to get as their new manager. But emboldened by the importance generate by the use of lots of capital letters, Gunnersphere tell us “ARSENAL IDENTIFY EXPERIENCED BOSS AS IDEAL SUCCESSOR TO WENGER”
French outlet (or as the might say in France média tuyau de vidange) L’Equipe (Team) has suggested that (according to the blog) “Arsenal are keen on appointing OGC Nice boss Lucien Favre at the Emirates Stadium this summer, after his impressive displays during the past two seasons with the Ligue 1 side.” (Nice are currently seventh in the French League but that doesn’t stop the drainpipe from beefing up the story). (Cue headlines, Arsenal get a new manager who is even worse than Wenger).
4: Ben Wilmot
Gunnersphere is back with the 18-year-old of Stevenage – who they claim is going to be “snatched” although Arsenal has had a £500k offer rejected. Allegedly.
“Stevenage are holding out for a fee in the region of £2m but a deal is set to go ahead imminently, with the club pulling Wilmot out of their squad for the weekend’s 1-0 victory away to Newport County, suggesting a sale is right around the corner.”
The Daily Mirror (Miroir) quotes Phil Wallaca (chairman) as stating things.
The 72 (a blog) says, “The word ‘starlet’ is becoming a footballing cliché nowadays. However, according to Alan Nixon writing in The Sun, Watford have beaten fellow Londoners Arsenal and Spurs to League Two starlet Ben Wilmot.”
That is what those of us who went to a Rutland school call a non-sequitur.
Now what makes the 72 a suspicious place to visit is that they don’t quote the Sun for a laugh but quote its commentary as a validation of an idea of their own. Dangerous!
5: Robert Navarro
So as we have oft said, you know there is something fishy with a story which says the source is “according to reports”. As in “Arsenal are set to step up their pursuit of Barcelona wonder kid Robert Navarro, according to reports.”
He’s 15, Manchester City wanted him, now don’t, and the Daily Mail say Arsenal can have him. Navarro has apparently been offered a contract with Barcelona, but once he turns 16 on April 12 he can depart of his own volition.
6: Richarlison
Now by and large we have agreed that Arsenal don’t need any more forwards, but The 4th Official is having none of it and insist that Arsenal are “plotting a move for Watford striker Richarlison when the transfer window opens in the summer. According to recent reports…”
Allegedly Watford are “asking for a fee in the region of £40m with Paris Saint-Germain, AS Monaco and Chelsea also keeping tabs on the player” who “arrived at the Vicarage Road from Fluminense last summer for a fee around £11.2m and has caught the eye with some impressive displays this season.”
But, “The 20-year-old has not scored in any of his past 22 appearances for Watford with his last goal coming versus West Ham United in November last year.” Hmmmm. A replacement for Aub then?
7: Ramsey
Gunnersphere and others are a little behind the times revealing that discussions with Ramsey are well under way. Ah well, can’t pinch them all. Actually yes you can.
8: Kalidou Koulibaly.
Corriere Dello Sport (via Tribal Football) are now reported on Gunnersphere saying “that Chelsea currently lead the Gunners and Liverpool in the race to sign the Senegalese international.
“Koulibaly’s current club are said to be determined to keep the defender at the San Paolo, but they are bracing themselves for a bid from the Blues.”
And when clubs brace themselves you know it means they are bracing themselves. Manchester City apparently also want him but are not braced.
Conclusion
So it seems we are in there buying lots of players that other people want and who on past performances we aren’t going to get because never wanted them in the first place.
Confused? You won’t be after the next episode of “All the players Arsenal are going to buy or maybe not.”
- Germany reveals what the Premier League will be like in six years, and they’ve had enough
- Does the length of player contract equal chances of success? Most certainly not.
- Manchester City miss equalling Arsenal, and the things money can’t buy.
Goalkeeper
Defender
Central Midfielder
Wide Player
That’s all, and maybe the ONLY wide player worth bringing into this squad would be Mahrez!
Good news day. Elneny has had his red card rescinded. So they do do justice at the FA
New manager.Without that it doesnt matter who we sign..
Lee
A Billion quid.
Without that, it doesn’t matter who we have as manager.
Nitram.
Did Leicester spend a billion quid when they won the league??Have Liverpool and Spurs spent that much money??Why are those 2 teams doing much better than us without spending as much as us??They all have a better manager than us thats why.
Lee – You’re completely right, your example of 1 in 1,000 shows that spending has absolutely no bearing on winning the league. Brilliant rebuttal. I guess it must just be a coincidence that literally every league on the planet is dominated by the teams that spend the most money.
“Have Liverpool and Spurs spent that much money??” – Sorry, I must have been in a coma when either of those two teams recently won anything big? How many trophies have they won in the past 5 years? 3 FA cups in 4 years? Oh yeah, that was Arsenal wasn’t it.
Jammy.
Liverpool are a far better team with a better manager than we have.Tonight they have proved that .And without spending as much as us..I know why you only want to go back 5 yearswhy not go back 10 years..At least liverpool are ambitious and look like a club that want to move forward.
28 years and counting.. Yep far better than us.
57 years and counting for Spurs!!
For years now all the so called ‘pundits’ (especially Savage) have been savaging (like the pun?) us for not winning trophies and when we won 3 FA cups in 4 years they dismissed it as ‘it’s only the FA cup’. In other words it’s not a big trophy. If Spurs win it this year you watch their reaction, ‘the biggest club in London’, ‘Poch is a genius’ etc. etc.
Let’s face it, we aren’t loved much but does it matter? We are The Arsenal!!!
By the way, it’s good news about Elneny he is a good lad and tries his his heart out. Arguably one of our best players in recent games and very underrated I think. We will need him because Wilshere has recently been very poor.
A billion pounds ? Now where is this white knight billionaire that will breeze into the Ems , get rid of the old regime and ring in the changes and hey presto ! …bring glory to the Arsenal .
He would of course be doing it solely for his love of the club and for all those fans who only want to win trophies , and want it now ! He probably must spend big in every transfer window to bring in needed players and get rid of deadwood and under performers .
He must not look out for himself , his family or company , but make ready funds so that the fans get their fix. Why buy luxury yachts , private jets, and fancy condos when that money be spent on the club and he would have the eternal gratitude of the masses ? Isn’t that just reward enough ? Always service before self .
So who fits this bill and ticks all the boxes ?
The floor is yours …..
We hsve 2 billionaires who own the club.One wont spend a penny of his own money and is only interested in profit and fleecing the fans.our other billionaire is one of the richest men on the planet who would spend his own money but cannot even get a seat on the board.And you think we are a well run club,,,
It would be helpful if you could explain to whom you are addressing your comment and the basis for the accusation.
Lee
So your definition of a well run club is one in which the owners spend 100’s of millions of pounds, or whatever, of there own money ?
Really ?
Nitram
Where did i say spend hundreds of million of pounds??I would like them to invest back in the club though when needed so we could have better players than Kalstrom on loan or another Sanogo.Or would you rather the owners take money out of the club like ours do??