It’s amazing. It’s incredible.
Peter Crouch is not coming to the Arsenal.
Last month the News of the World told us that Peter Crouch was being lined up as the replacement for Adebayor. But incredibly, amazingly, it seems he was not.
This is the first time in the past half hour that the News of the World has been proven wrong. Reuters have just confirmed that the man known as the Terror of Gillingham (following his wild attack on the town in his autobiography) has in fact signed for Portsmouth.
There was an immediate call for an enquiry at the News of the World. “We can’t believe it,” said an (unnamed) source. We haven’t got anything else wrong since, oh, twenty minutes ago.”
More revelations are expected shortly.