Have Arsenal signed an Extra Terrestrial?

NOTE: We have decided to put the referee review of our 50th game in our unbeaten run on the history site. As it is very much history of course. You can read it by clicking on this link

 

By Walter Broeckx

When I heard the news about Arsenal signing Santiago Cazorla or Santi Cazorla as he is mostly called I went out on a search on the internet.

Digging up the usual Youtube videos, checking website and statistics. And by doing that I stumbled upon something that made me think that even though we kept it a secret, but I thought Arsenal was the first team to sign an Extra Terrestrial player.  Why? Well I checked out on Wikipedia and I found this written about him and I quote:

“Santiago “Santi” Cazorla González; born 13 December 1984; is a Spanish footballer who plays for Arsenal in the English Premier League. A versatile winger, he can play on either flank, as a result of being ambidextrous.

He is noted for his speed and capacity to change the rhythm of gameplay, and spent most of his professional career with Villareal.

Cazorla represented Spain at Euro 2008 and 2012, helping the national team win both tournaments. “

Now as most of you know English is not my mother language. And when I read this I really was amazed as I never had heard of the word “ambidextrous” before. I don’t think it is a word that is a standard word when you learn English. So at first it could  mean that he came from Mars or Jupiter or whatever planet. It could mean he was from Krypton as far as I was concerned.

Over here on Untold we have rather a few intelligent supporters.  Not that I want to think of myself as a highly intelligent specie of mankind.  And after failing to know the word Ambidextrous I felt a bit stupid. But also a bit happy because I knew I would learn something new that day.

And so I clicked on the link and then I found the explanation:  “Ambidexterity is the state of being equally adept in the use of both left and right appendages (such as the hands). It is one of the most famous varieties of cross-dominance. People that are naturally ambidextrous are rare, with only one out of one hundred people being naturally ambidextrous.[1] The degree of versatility with each hand is generally the qualitative factor in determining a person’s ambidexterity.”

So after all we didn’t sign an Extra Terrestrial. But wouldn’t that have been a cool thing to do? Arsenal being the first team to sign someone from Mars, Jupiter or Krypton. Would that be against any football law? Or would it be a racist thing to not being able to play a player from another planet? Even if it means having a keeper of 3 meter high and with 6 arms in goal?  Well just imagine. Would be fun. Wenger finding an ET with his World Wide Scouting network changed in to a Planetarium wide Scouting network. Better stop now before people think I am completely crazy.

But getting back to Cazorla being ambidextrous.  I have heard of right footed players who are rather comfortable with their left foot. And in a very rare occasion you have a left footed player who can use his right foot on occasions for more than using it to stand on it. But you rarely hear of a player who is ambidextrous.

And I have been looking at a numerous You tube videos about Cazorla and well he seems very comfortable with both feet and it looks amazing at times. I have seen him play the ball cross field with his left and right foot without being it any trouble at all. Because a left footed player who tries this is something that can work out but then you see that he has to focus in an unnatural way to do it. But Cazorla just has the ball in front of whatever foot it is in front and just kicks it with ease.

I have seen him take free kicks with his right foot and with his left foot and again it just is natural for him. So I really do think this will be a great asset for our game. And for free kicks as the keeper does not know which feet he will use when he starts running.

I was wondering if we ever have had a player who was ambidextrous before?  And I really cannot come up with one other example. Now I must admit I only can speak about the last 6 or 7 years because before that all I had was the summary in MOTD. So if any of you know about us having such a player let me know. Or even another such player in the PL of today or in the old days. I really cannot remember any player who had this advantage and natural skill.

So will be even more fun on Sunday to not only see him make his debut but also to see the first ambidextrous player, playing for Arsenal. Unless you now will tell me some other names…

 

38 Replies to “Have Arsenal signed an Extra Terrestrial?”

  1. Former football players Paolo Maldini and Pavel Nedvěd are ambidextrous from birth. Luis Javier Garcia Sanz, Steven Gerrard, Pedro, Adriano Correia and Santi Cazorla are all examples of ambidextrous footballers. Players such as Ronaldo, Wesley Sneijder, Cristiano Ronaldo, Zinedine Zidane, and Andrea Pirlo, while being right footed, are considered good enough with either foot to be termed ‘two footed’ without being truly ambidextrous.

  2. Well, according to Wikipedia, “Former football players Paolo Maldini and Pavel Nedvěd are ambidextrous from birth. Luis Javier Garcia Sanz, Steven Gerrard, Pedro, Adriano Correia and Santi Cazorla are all examples of ambidextrous footballers.” So there are quite a few. What do you guys think about our pal Steven Gerrard?

  3. hi walter..same was the case with me when I did my initial research on our man Santi.The wikipedia link you & me surfed goes on to mention a few examples also..this is what it says “Former football players Paolo Maldini and Pavel Nedvěd are ambidextrous from birth. Luis Javier Garcia Sanz, Steven Gerrard, Pedro, Adriano Correia and Santi Cazorla are all examples of ambidextrous footballers. Players such as Ronaldo, Wesley Sneijder, Cristiano Ronaldo, Zinedine Zidane, and Andrea Pirlo, while being right footed, are considered good enough with either foot to be termed ‘two footed’ without being truly ambidextrous”….Cheers..ATID.

  4. Well I think we are all talking of them being able to use both feet with equal efficiency…?

  5. I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

    Alan Smith (our Alan Smith) was totally two footed. I remember he took a penalty at the end of a season which helped him to win the golden boot. He used his right foot. Before stepping up to take that kick I had no idea which foot he would use.

  6. All,
    Yes, THAT GAME – the 50th Game – the crime scene at Old Trafford – the planting of the bad seed in pure manure – the launch of Mike Riley toward head of PGMOL – the sowing of bad karma by Don Fungus and the reason he will not achieve the Rednose XX that he wants above anything – the reason he should not lay hands upon RVP – the serial perfidies of Ferdinand, van Nistelroy, Neville Bros, Wayne Rooney, Saha – all there with THE ANALYSIS that puts FACT beneath the charge of grand theft – the illegitimacy of our loss at Old Toilet – the delusion of Manure’s self-belief exposed – a blow for the Invincibles – the spark for our continuing rise from those ashes – the big lie of refshite revealed. Read for yourself. Teach the children. Gunners 4 Ever! And a massive thank you to Walter, Dogface and Tony for bringing this back from the depths. Guaranteed to heal all wounds!

  7. @bob, are you Mark E. Smith in disguise? Vis: “the big lie of refshite revealed”. Sounds very much like a Fall lyric to me 😉

  8. Walter,
    A little bit of history for you.
    Santiago in English means St. James.
    In the 1930’s Arsenal boasted one of the greatest of its players, Alex James, a sort of early Bergkamp. Not a noted scorer he was the playmaker cum sliderule passer supreme, responsible for much of Arsenal’s dominance in those pre-War years.
    Hope Santi will prove to be as good a signing.

  9. David Ginola teached himself to be able to use his chocolate leg after he broke one. He became so good with the other leg people assumed that it was his preferred foot.
    Btw Santi Cazorla was not part of the 2010 Spain world cup squad. Jesus Navas took his place.

  10. Gerrard is ambidextrous.he punches people with both fists

    Quite right footed though…..

  11. Steven Gerrard does not look as comfortable on his left as he does with his right also he does not do any cross field passes with his left, he is very much right footed

  12. Bob,
    It’s funny you should mention reincarnation.
    Alex James was famous for his voluminous baggy shorts. These hid the longjohns he wore to combat his chronic rheumatism. As my Gran (who cleans at the Emirates) wears something similar, does this count for reincarnation? 😆

  13. Walter, we had a player in the 1970’s called David Price.
    I swear that he was ambidextrous.
    He was equally crap with either foot!

  14. Is Mo Farah also an Extra Terrestrial? Either way, well done Mo Farah, double Olympic gold medallist and Arsenal fan!

  15. funny you should mention diving, just caught 2nd half of manure v hannover and rooney was at it again. in a friendly!

  16. Lovely article, Walter.

    And plenty of amusing replies. Love it.

    Bob. You link to the Old Toiletta report (ta again, Walter). Was it THAT match you referred to in your post a couple of days ago? (I haven’t found your original post).

    Lest we forget:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM747L9Wf8M

    Walter, how can I see the game, please. (link/DVD/download/ Andy Kelly?)

  17. Normally ambidextrous is used in reference to being able to use both hands equally well and is identified as an indicator that the brain is using both hemispheres equally well. A right handed person will use the left hemisphere and vice-versa.
    The correct and recognized scientific term for an ability to use both feet equally well (dancing, jumping etc.) is ambipedal so maybe we should teach Walter some more English terms to totally confuse him.
    By the way Walter, Cazorla is from Gandymede in the Iberian Quadrant, also known as the ¨rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain¨…………:)

  18. I think the unbeaten team were the way they were becaus they could use both feet. I havent got an example of a player being but im sure gael clichy is/was naturally right footed.. strange because he was weak with his right foot.

  19. I don’t care if Arsenal have signed an et or alien. All gunner fans want is for Arseal to start winning games and stay in the hunt for the epl until the last day of the season .
    Btw if you had watched the Mexico Brazil game you will notice the latter’s style is similar to the gunners.Back heels,pass and pass until the defenders come back in numbers.I aint surprised Brazil lost.
    If Wenger sticks to the same style,,imho,the gunners could be in for the same problems.

  20. rantetta,
    Yes! THAT match is THIS very match that Walter has reviewed like a truth-seeking laser. The one whose (so very hard to find) clip you first linked us to many moons ago. Maybe, for history sake, Andy Kelly will prevail on him to review the other two matches 1999 and 2002 and we would have the Unholy Trinity that indicts Manure for illegitimacy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *