Untold Twutter : some wisdom, some headaches

By Remak Kwen

Untold twutter looks at football wisdoms or not? Head butting  and punches, hairy and bald…

Johan Cruyff once said about football tactics: “Every advantage has a disadvantage.” But what when the ref gives an advantage that is no advantage? Does it still go then?

The same Dutch maestro once said: “To prevent the opponent from scoring, you just have to make sure the ball is around their penalty area”. But what if all your players are there leaving the field open for a counter attack?

And another one: “As long as we have the ball, the others can’t score”. Now who could argue with that? Well maybe the defender who just scored an own goal?

Gary Linneker once said something like this: “Football is a game with 22 men on the pitch and at the end, the Germans win”. Which is rubbish of course because how does this work in the Bundesliga then? Do all the games end in a draw or so? It just isn’t right. That’s like shitting on the pitch during the world cup. Oh…yeah…oh well…

The correct versions according to an unknown football lover is: “Football is a game with 22 men on the pitch as long as the ref doesn’t send someone off”. Now that goes for all. This really is true all the time.

Another one that is much better than that from the MOTD clown: “Football is a game with 22 men on the pitch and at the end, the ref blows his whistle.” Unless he loses his whistle of course. But that is why refs have always two whistles I have been told. Which leads me to the question: how does a ref stops the game when he loses his whistles??? Or if it doesn’t work any more???

Or what would happen when the ref loses his head and doesn’t end to a game? Would they keep on playing forever?

Let us put our head on to something else.

Did you see Fellaini running up against Shawcross? If that really was meant to be a head butt  it just wasn’t good enough. Fellaini should realise that with all his hair he reduces the impact. So next time when facing Shawcross he should hit him harder or shave his hair off before the game. What is the use of a head butt when you hardly touch the guy? Do it good or don’t do it.

I do think that with this head butt Fellaini made himself very popular amongst Arsenal supporters. Head butting the devil himself. Head butting the face of evil.  Go Marouane, go!!!! That’s the way we like it.

Fellaini also elbowed and punched him according to some papers. If he did he sure isn’t the best fighter around. No chance of him winning an Olympic medal in cage fighting. Is that an Olympic sport?

Of course we don’t like such behaviour. But then again… would we shed a tear if Shawcross would never be able to play a game ever again? I think the Emirates would be rocking if that news would filter through.

Can someone tell Fellaini there still is a guy out there called Martin Taylor?  He could get a statue outside the Emirates without actually having played for us…Fellaini I mean.

Mark Halsey didn’t see the incident. Surprise, surprise….

Moyes was fur-ious with Fellaini and would fine him. A £200.000 fine and  a new razor I have heard.

Tony Puke-lis has send a handkerchief to the poor mother of he isn’t that kind of boy Shawcross.  To dry both their tears. The poor little lad has been bullied by a big one.

Of course all that pushing, shoving, elbowing, fighting, head-butting could stop the moment Shawcross and his companions would stop doing those things themselves….

Could it be possible that Fellaine wants to come to Arsenal and wants the fans to embrace him even before he arrives? A good attempt I would say.

The problem is that he could face a long ban. The media smells blood. After all a Johnny Foreigner attacking a fine young English lad. A fine? No one of the finest ones. Pass the bucket will you.

I think Fellaini has two options now. Join Arsenal get a big round of applause from the Arsenal supporters even before he has kicked a ball and get banned for just stepping on the pitch in an Arsenal shirt. We all know that Fellaini to Arsenal would mean that we would end each game he starts with 10 men on the pitch.

Or he could join United and do like that each week without punishment. Robin knows its true.

A difficult choice. He probably will go to Russia I think. It all will depend on the length of the ban. And the money of course.  Besides we already have a Marouane….

Which leads to the Arsenal.  Thank you for last night lads.

The books…

The sites…

The commentaries

10 Replies to “Untold Twutter : some wisdom, some headaches”

  1. Of course we cannot condone this conduct, but if the choice of “victim” could provide mitigating circumstances, this was the case here.

    But, in fairness, Fellaini isn’t that kind of player, he doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body and the poor lad was distraught afterwards. I am sure that he will be consoled when Ferguson and Allardyce ring him up to pass on their good wishes and support.
    (oh. no. my mistake.. he’s not English, is he?)

  2. I think Moyes needs to send fellaini over to Madrid for headbutting lessons from the master Zidane.

  3. On the Daily Heil, Samuel has a good write on the fact that if the referee had done his job in the first place, then Ryan Shawcross would have conceded a penalty as the first foul was bear hugging Fellaini. After conceding a penalty, Stoke’s way of defending would have changed. A lot less wrestling and lot more football would have taken place at every set pieces.

    We have seen that numerous time. Defenders commit fouls after fouls in the penalty box sure in the knowledge that the referee will never have the courage to signal a penalty for an off-the-ball infringement. After a while, the striker snaps and the referee suddenly develop a 10/10 vision and blow in favour of the defender.
    Instead of condemning Fellaini, we should condemn the referee and Ryan Shawcross. Shawcross because during the entire game he had no intention to play the ball just to foul Fellaini again and again.
    Mark Halsey because he did not had the courage to signal penalty and send off one of Tony Pulis’s henchman. By not punishing them, he was complice in them breaking the law.

  4. I agree, Valentin.

    Before the Arsenal match at Reading, on Sky Gary Neville was showing some incidents between Fellaini and Shawcross in the match where Fellaini did the (rather feeble) headbutt.

    I could fully understand why Arsene Wenger and Martin Jol have said Stoke is more like a rugby team. Again and again Shawcross had Fellaini in a bear hug, both arms wrapped round him so he couldn’t move. The only thing he could move was his head.

    It is quite ridiculous that the referee let Shawcross get off with these repeated and obvious fouls.

    I was disappointed that Gary Neville seemed to be saying that behaviour like Shawcross’s is just part of the game. It shouldn’t be and it is up to the ref to stop it. It just prevents proper football from being played. And in the end players get frustrated and lash out as Fellaini did.

  5. Very nice ,Mr.Kwen ,take a bow !Very humourous ! Very apt !And very nice pot shots from the guys – good work men !
    If Fellaini joins us ,we should immediately commision a statue for him .Just imagine it – an upright Showcross reacts in horror and dread as an almost horizontal’ Fellaini missile’ hits him ,and at the bottom the legend, ‘ Butt-head meets head butt ‘ !
    If Fellaini joins us ,then the other Marouane will not be able to Chamakh it, and would probably be no Moor! There’s a joke in there somewhere ! Maybe even a limerick ?
    People will dump their black scarves and go for black afros !Sales of mops will go through the roof !

  6. Headlines – Choc (shock ) all round as Belgian Toffee absolved by FA and claims it was sweet justice and not a Fellaini (felony )as there was no cranial indent (criminal intent )! .
    Football fans worldwide ( and Mars bars) rejoice.
    Arsenal players to celebrate by doing the Gangnam style stomping on Shawcross’s legs next !

  7. @Pat,
    Neville’s remark about Shawcross is just what I would expect from a retired thug. I well recall his treatment of Reyes at OT which, as usual, went entirely unpunished.

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