By Billy the Dog McGraw
Oh its all go at the red alert station. And apart from that, we’re also tipped, expected to, enquiring for, and generally throwing ourselves all over the place, while quite possibly being covered in custard. Because the race is on to sign…
Well, everyone.
And yes it is all true because I have just been plodding through page after page of blogs and web sites, all of which are known throughout the kingdom to be pukker, correct, right, right on, honest, truthful, decent and jolly good.
Anyway to save you wading through 50 shades of blog to find out the latest what nots and oojahs.
Arsenal are maybe, perhaps, certainly on red alert about…
1: Cech from Chelsea for £20m. Every site runs that one today. It turned up in the neo-fascist “I’m British Get Me Out of the EU” Daily Mail. It’s an audacious bid. Which is interesting since various AAA sites are reporting this, presumably meaning that they now think Mr Wenger has the ability to be audacious. That’s a change. Actually in a rather amusing move, one of the bloggy things has decided to make this “The Arsenal Debate” as in “The Arsenal Debate: should Arsenal sign Cech from Chelsea?” My Arsenal debate is, “should otherwise sane people spend their leisure time reading all this guff?” Hmmmm.
2: Victor Wanyama the defensive midfielder from Celtic. That’s just an announcement apart from “Liverpool are the latest club to be linked with Celtic midfielder Victor Wanyama but will face competition from the likes of Arsenal and Manchester United to sign him.”
3: Felipe Santana the central defender from Dortmund. That’s a red alert.
4: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for whom the race is on. 23-year old Gabon international Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s a goal scoring forward I am told on six different sites. Oh but we are not getting him because PSG will double anything we offer and then some. Bugger!
5: Then we have the mystery man. “Arsenal linked with surprise transfer move” says the blog headline, followed by a totally blank page. Actually signing the invisible man might be a great idea. Could meander through defences as if he were not there.
6: Transfer Tavern tells us Arsenal are set for striker disappointment. In fact it is such a disappointment that for a while they just gave us a black page. I suppose that is the opposite of the all white invisible man.
7: Vorm – the Swansea keeper. But that was yesterday’s news, but worth mentioning because I found this logic on one blog. They said that because Szchzchyz had been dropped for a player whose AAA nickname is Flapper Hand Ski then Szch… etc must know it is time to leave. Which suggests that if some idiot AAA turnip invents a childish nickname for a player then the player actually becomes that nickname. Err…?
8: Arsenal are focusing all their attentions on Fiorentina striker Stevan Jovetic in the summer transfer window. That’s quite nice because it avoid us being on alert.
9: Stoke are bracing themselves for a battle to keep Asmir Begovic with Arsenal interested. And the race hots up for… Actually this is quite good to get a bracing and a hot-up in one story.
10: Abdisalam Ibrahim currently on loan at Stromsgodset from Man City. He’s the new Vieira. We always must have one new Vieira in the list, otherwise it doesn’t count.
What’s interesting is that only player survives from our last list, which shows you just how fast the stories move and just how far some blogs will go to try and get their ratings up.
Here’s the last list.
- Isco (Francisco Román Alarcón Suárez ) the attacking midfielder from Malaga for £35m,
- Valdes the Barcelona goalkeeper
- N’Koulou from Marseille
- Vorm, the Swansea goalkeeper
- Martin Skrtel from Liverpool
- David Villa from Barcelona
- Mertersacker to Wolfsburg
- Bendtner to Zenit
- Sagna to …. well take your choice
Anyway, so fanatical is the story telling that I think I might keep this up. By August 30th we ought to have just about every player on the planet listed.
So, would you care to tell me who I have missed.
We could start with Herbie Vormaneater from Romanian side Extrafangs FC. Hey ho! Toodle pip!!
Recent posts…
- How one company handles the scouting requirements of the world’s top teams
- Six top players in and three out. Arsenal’s summer transfer news
- Swansea 0 Arsenal 2 – more of this please
- Swansea receives a visit from the Ice Man
The referee analysis
- Case Study 4: Fulham
- Case study 3: Everton
- Case study 2: Chelsea
- What’s wrong with the refs in the PL: Case study Aston Villa
- Is it right to have refs doing two PL games over a weekend?
- So what’s wrong with the Premier League – the opening part of the story
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The books…
- Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football – Arsenal’s early years
- Making the Arsenal – how the modern Arsenal was born in 1910
- The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal FC: crowd behaviour at the early matches
- Royal Arsenal: from the Common to the Manor. Coming next.
The sites from the same team…
- Referee Decisions – just what are the refs up to this season?
- The Arsenal History Blog from the AISA Arsenal History Society
- School sports minibuses: providing your child’s school with a bus
- Parent News – what is going on in schools these days?
- Teacher News – UK schools from the teachers’ perspective
- UK Education News – rolling news service
- The weight loss programme: The only guaranteed way to stay fit
- Untold Dylan – the music, the lyrics, the meaning
We’ve been there a lot of times, Wenger wont buy anyone… Well I guess out job is to feed them and do nothing but watch from the stands or the sofa!
Can someone link us with cesc fabregas please
cesc fabregas is interested in returning to Arsenal. OK?
But what as,Tony?
Looooool. Please add †̥̥ ђ !ş “Nasri begs A.Wenger for second chance” hahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Some blogs and website are just sort of a disgrace to journalism. Watch them report that Arteta wants to leave.. Ʊ heard that from me first. Keep Τ̣̣ђё ĠõõD work UNTOLD
I thought flamini is coming back to be in goal while Hleb is the forward we’ve been missing?
LOL I like number 5. Mambo nr. 5 😉
The invisible man. LOL.
I think up to now he plays for every team we face when we have ref Dean. He trips our players but as he is invisible Dean can ignore the foul or even book our players for diving. And as he cannot be spotted by the assistants he can score from offside positions while Dean makes a little dance. He even trips his own players so that Dean can give a penalty.
It sure would be nice to sign that invisible man. Or would we just sign Dean? After all I think he is his agent.
I know that the media thrives on news but all these stories of projected signings by Arsenal are getting a little tedious.
They recommenced soon after the January Window closed in certain knowledge that no signings could take place until the season’s end.
Free speech is all very well but this constant outpouring of largely made-up gossip is,IMO, getting beyond a joke.
But these unsubstantiated rumors have their bad effects, on the morale of our listed players.
Only this week Mertersacker, Scz and Koz have had to come out hat they are not on their way out. As has Pod and Sagna in the recent past. Wilshere is supposed to be unavailable till May; Diaby should throw in the towel any day now and Gervhino must know by now that there is no future for him in Arsenal; I am not so sure any more if Ramsey had unzipped his previously packed bags or they are still packed and in Arsenal’s departure lounge. And we are either getting rid of Verminator or we are losing him to Barcelona…it is a wonder that Arsenal get to put out 11 players on the pitch without asking Steve Bould to grab a jersey in order to make up the number.
How many rebuttals must the club and players put out monthly? How many private conversations must the coach schedule just to reassure these players? What niggling, residual doubts continue to gnaw at the confidence of our players as they trot out for each match? Could it be that theses rumors are put out in the hope of battering the morale and confidence of our players so that they end up playing badly so that the doom and gloom view concerning their performance and potential become self-fulfilling?
If some one missed….we were linked to a “SURPRISE” move for song.
Signing the invisible man would be sure fun. But how do we truly locate him….hmm?
Herbie Vormaneater from Extrafangs FC (from Transylvania, I’m guessing ,and he sounds ‘hungry’ ! *), would Count as monster buy and a gripping addition and would bring more bite to the heart of our defence !
We have been thirsting for a’ blood and gore’ type of player of his ilk for too long ! He would carve and shred forwards and spit them out for sheer fun , and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelid !
On a lighter vein , keep him away from stakes – it’ll be the death of him !Also day games are a no -no for him – coffin and all ! Can’t wait for him to sink his teeth into the opposition !
What’s that ? ManUre have just signed Van Helsing from Thebogs ? Curses ! Damn you SAF !Damn you all to hell!
* Tran·syl·va·nia [tran-sil-veyn-yuh, -vey-nee-uh]
noun
a region and former province in central Romania: formerly part of Hungary. 24,027 sq. mi. (62,230 sq. km).
we already have the invisible man in The squid
If you mean Squillaci, he would have been a better player had he received due support from the Emirates so-called faithfull. Instead he has gone the way of Denilson and others, let down by the very people who should have been his backers.
Well said Nicky. Unfortunately some of our players have to overcome three obstacles, the opposition, the referee and a large portion of our own supporters. It can’t be easy.