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August 2021

Arsenal v Reading Glasses; everything that won’t happen

By Billy the Dog McGraw

So we know that we are without Theo Walcott who would insist of travelling with England, silly boy, Abou Diaby, and possibly without Kieran Gibbs who is ill.

And we know Lukas Podolski and Bacary Sagna are fit.

We also know that so far this season we have scored seven and five against Reading.   Also we have had one defeat in seven.

But… this is Nigel Adkins first game in charge of the Spectacles.  Reading have lost their last six games.  So everything points to a sudden disaster, with Reading winning 1-0.

But since I have said that it won’t happen.  In fact 0-2, 1-2, 0-3, 1-3, 2-3, 0-0, 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, 4-4 and 5-5 won’t happen either, since I have mentioned them all.

On the other hand we have won all 11 previous games with the Literati, so that suggests we will lose. But as you know, nothing that I predict ever comes true, so as I as I keep saying we will lose, we will be ok.

Now, here’s a thing, and the thing is, right, the thing is, we have had more possession than any other team in the PL this season at 57.9%, but of late we have been winning and not having possession, so that doesn’t look too helpful either.  But I said it, so that gets rid of any ill omen.

But the killer blow, comes in relation to the Untold article about whether an individual player ever makes a difference.  The answer is “yes” if that player is Jack W.   We have won 36% of PL games this season without him but 56% with him.

Oh no!

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The team:


Jenkinson; Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal

Arteta, Coquelin, Ramsey

Oxlade-Chamberlain, Giroud, Cazorla

Subs: Szczesny, Sagna, Vermaelen, Rosicky, Gervinho.

So there can only one winner, but the trouble is we don’t know who it is.

The new Print Followers manager is Nigel Adkins. He was manager of  Southampton when we beat them 6-1.  So what does that mean? At this stage I haven’t got a clue.

As for the news on the players and the future, Mr Wenger pointed out that “Jens Lehmann and David Seaman had their blips.”  This led the press to say that we are definitely signing a new goalkeeper.

He also said that there would not be a lot of big-name signings this summer, which led the press to say that we will sign a defensive midfielder, a forward, a goalkeeper and a central defender, four stewards, a new team of catering people who know how to operate a coffee machine, and a packet of polos.

What he did say was, “What is important is to trust young players to do it in the future, because everybody just wants to bring in names. That’s where we have to be strong enough to do the right thing.”  In other words Mr Wenger believes that Arsenal a core of junior players who can play in the  Premier League.

Here’s the Telegraph’s summary of how to ignore Mr Wenger’s own comments:

Out in the summer: Sagna, Arshavin, Gervinho, Szczeshy,

Into the Emas:  Capoue (defensive midfield), Jovetic (forward), Reina (Goal) Ashley Williams (central defence).

So now you know.  Or perhaps not.

The Dog’s prediction: Arsenal 14 Reading -2; game interrupted by earthquake in the 5th minute.


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10 comments to Arsenal v Reading Glasses; everything that won’t happen

  • WalterBroeckx

    How long will the interruption take? Rules say a game can only be stopped for 30 mins maximum.

  • Matt Clarke

    The BGS records that the nearest earthquake to Reading on record was the Dorking earthquake of 1551. The worst effects were limited to the fall of hanging objects (such as joints of meat).

    So to suggest that the match will be interrupted by “an earthquake in the 5th minute” is riduculous.

    Much more likely to be in the second half.

  • Adam

    Such an amusing read.

    @Walter, don’t worry about the earthquake, if its big enough it will alter earths rotation by slowing us down and buying us some time.

    Or has the purchase of time already been covered by Untold?

  • Ong Bing

    1-3 or 0-4 I think, Ramsey score, but nobody die this time.

  • Gord

    According to, the two closest earthquakes to Reading are a 4.1 on March 28 in Montenegro and a 4.4 on March 29 in Iceland. Of course, this has little to do with what is going to happen in 1 hour, or so. Was the Montenegro earthquake in response to England not winning its game?

    Today in history – March 30, 1965 seen a 7.3 earthquake in Alaska.

  • Ong Bing

    Gerv makes 1 nil for Arsenal, but bad news, Spud also lead 1-0 at Swans.

  • Gord

    I just checked, and as of 15:12:23 UTC, there was no record of an Earthquake at approximately 15:05. About 3 hours ago, there was an Earthquake in the Dominican Republic (3), and about 3.5 hours ago, there was one in Nicaragua (4.5). 🙂

  • what the fuck does foy want from us???

  • I think foy wants to balance the game ,may be give reading a Easter present or something but he is not a ref as of today.

  • I just wonder what Arsenal will do to please the Pundits,when you win at Bayern they call it lucky,when you beat Reading they say you are playing badly!!! Danm these guys really do hate us with a Passion .