Cod-eating Northern surrender monkeys

Football, at least the EPL version, is (as you don’t need me to tell you) in chaos.

We have entered the unknown world of two multi-billionaire run teams, Newcastle Zebras and West Ham Untidy seem to be involved in attempts at total self-destruction, Arsenal (according to many fans) are about to slip into mid-table obscurity, and neither Liverpool nor Man U can pay their debts.

Aston Villa have spent a fortune trying to get into Europe, only to find Man City have leapfrogged them, Sunderland have bought Tottenham and are finding that actually the players were rubbish after all, and everyone is watching what Plantini is going to do about clubs in debt.

And yet perhaps the greatest tragedy is not with all that.  It is that most of our paid football writers (one can hardly call them professional, since that would suggest an element of knowledge and some standards) issue endless chit chat which really doesn’t get us very far by way of insight into these major issues of the day.  Or any issues of the day come to that.

It makes one ache for the insight and directness of, say, the German media which in reporting Hamburg, called them cod-eating Northern surrender monkeys.   But to be fair I have to admit that I discovered this through a blog on the Guardian’s web site – the one place where we can find football put in perspective.

Humour (as I have said in the past) does have a place in football, and I am saddened that much of the time it has no place in football journalism or football blogs.

Certainly no one has been cracking many jokes on Arsenal blogs of late: it appears that the majority of writers and commentators believe it has all gone very wrong and Wenger should have bought a defensive midfielder.   One of the comments on this site, when I suggested that we actually had a strong midfield, was that I was being patronising – and that sort of view is widespread.  (That’s not a criticism of the writer – if I didn’t want comments I wouldn’t have a comment box – it is just a reflection on how people see the world).

There are some of us who believe that Wenger has got it right – and indeed had it right last year, and was defeated only by injuries – but we are in the minority I fear.

What is certain is that no one is converting anyone, and the arguments are becoming futile – I’m not convinced by the arguments about the paucity of the midfield, and those who believe the squad has diminished in quality from last year aren’t convinced by arguments to the contrary.

So, maybe its time simply to have a laugh.  Seeing the Tiny Totts at the foot of the table in yet another year when they are breaking into the top 4 was quite droll, and I always get a bit of a giggle when WHAM (as the TV screens now call them) screw it up.  Newcastle is a constant self-destruct mechanism, and it is lovely to imagine the financiers at Liverpool Liquidators and Manchester Bankrupt looking at the way in which player prices have just risen and wondering how they are even going to be able to pay the ball-boys let alone the interest on their debt after the next buying round.

Listening to the “Hughes” character at Man City trying to explain his position as “manager” when he had no idea who was being bought throughout the day was also worthy of a smile or two.

And I did like the comments on this site about the need to do some adding up before you can post a remark.  I was asked “what’s with all this maths?  Is it to stop Tottenham supporters commenting?” and the answer of course is yes.

If I’ve got it wrong and our squad this year is not up to it at all, I’ll be open and say so.  If I’m right, and we have got a wonderful squad, which has all the benefits of last year’s experience, has Nasri – a huge improvement on Hleb, and in which one of our midfielders will start to emerge as a stunning player, just as Flamini did after a few months of last year, then yes, I am going to smirk, and then smile, and then laugh, and then guffaw, and then scream, and then be carried away by the men in white coats.

But it will be worth it.

8 Replies to “Cod-eating Northern surrender monkeys”

  1. Another great post! We WERE beaten by injuries and some truly bad luck last year.

    When we went unbeaten we should have the grace to admit we had huge slice of luck (how could you not to achieve such a feat). Noone wants to hear the truth that last season we were cruelly robbed by lady misfortune (and a shocking tackle). Still Clichy got the ball before he felled the player for the penalty at the end of the game.

    Arsenal fans should all be open eyed and realise just how good we have it – this truly is the best club in the world. And fuck me what a squad!

  2. this is a very good post.

    i’m sick of seeing insults get thrown around between arsenal fans (i probably threw a few as well). we all want arsenal to win, that is the undeniable truth. NOBODY regardless of how extremely negative or positive in their stance wants arsenal to do anything less than the best. we disagree on some matters and that’s fine, but tell me when you are walking to the emirates with thousands of other guys and gals and old people and children wearing the red and white, sitting in cafes talking about what formation we’re gonna play do you really want to think negatively? we disagree but we love ARSENAL so i think it’s important to talk and disagree, but also lets keep it real here.

    regardless of whether wenger was right or wrong about this and that, we can only wait and see now. but there’s no question that the more vocal and encouraging our support the better the lads will do on the pitch.

    some people are a bit uncomfortable about making some noise at the emirates. i can see why and i’m actually quite the same, but when i went to the home game against twente i forced myself to join in with most of the chants and it makes you think a different way. you and thousands of other people are all signing for the same side and the more we get that thhe better we will do. so let’s all make a little extra effort even if we are a bit uncomfortable eh!

  3. I agree, 4 points, that’s all it was. Listening to the press and some of our spineless plastic fans you’d of thought that we actually ended up where the spuds did. The penalty that was never a penalty, Chavski’s off side goal, thats all it came down to, I don’t even think the strength of the squad came in to play. I hope it’s Eboue who emerges as our stunning midfield player, it’ll be just like Flamini, people slating him one week and then cutting theirs wrists the next when he gone. Up the Arse.

  4. I have agreed previously that our squad is great. Who is going to be our CC midfield? I assume Wilshire and Medira out wide, but who in the centre? Randall and Ramsey? Only if Denilson, Diaby & Song are getting regular games.

    I saw a suggested first choice front 6 of RvP, Cesc, Sami, Rocky, Eddie and Ade. Not much room for improvement there!

  5. I do enjoy this blog, it’s so refreshing – a supporter who supports the team. Those of us looking on the bright side might turn out to be wrong but at least we’ll enjoy the journey along the way. Why be miserable, it’s such a waste of energy? I really believe the boys will feed off our positivity if only we can have more days like last Saturday when the crowd seemed up for it from the start and there was no booing of our own players. That’s the way it should be come what may!

  6. You may be the ONLY major Arsenal blogger that feels like I do about this situation.


    What ever happened to the concept of total football?

    “Song’s a midfielder, he cant be a center half”
    “Toure’s a center mid, he cant be a defensive mid”
    “Eboue shouldn’t even be on this squad”

    All a bunch of crap.

    Arsene has assembled a quality team of YOUNG VERSATILE PLAYERS that believe in him, his system, and most inportantly EACH OTHER.

    YOU CANNOT BUY CHEMISTRY (see tiny totts)

    I can barely stand to read these other Arsenal blogs anymore that constantly bemoan the fact that we didn’t buy someone that they’d heard of.(because even if Arsene did his usual and found some guy we’d never heard of, that still wouldn’t have been enough for them)

    Dishing out 15 million some odd pounds for Alonso or Barry? Really?


    It’s what Arsene has always done.

    I believe, Mr Untold Arsenal Blogger Man.

    I’m glad someone with a voice does as well.

  7. Great post, i`m becoming a fan of your perspective its different. And as you stated (some people calling you patronizing) It think it`s quite the opposite. They really should have a good look at some of the sh!te they read. If that`s not patronizing, i don’t know what is. Arsenal blogs of late have turned into “doom blogs” not all of them now but a good majority of them, but it`s good to see a slightly optimistic blogger still out there!

    Lets see how we fair this season, And then judge on that. I really hope we do it this year just to spite all the scaremongeringingererers. If we fail miserably we shall take to the streets and demand some “experienced” players be signed.

    Oh yes

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