“Why do you want Zidane when we have Tim Sherwood?” | Totts Preview

Dominic Sanchez-Cabello

A pub quiz one for you all: “Why do you want to sign Zidane when we have Tim Sherwood?” was the question asked by Blackburn owner Jack Walker back in 1992.

Lets hope that in time, Levy comes to ask: “why do you want this Klopp bloke, when we have Tim Sherwood?

Tottenham have undergone a troubling resurgence lately, mainly orchestrated by the mercurial Adebayor. Adebayor is a man of mystery – whose talent is matched by his tendency to be a complete berk. Ye Olde Conundrum if you will – probably as relevant to a Neolithic hunter as to a footballer. Might be takin’ liberties there – just enjoy the idea of a gifted hunter, missing his potential in favour of odd agendas.

Gary the Caveman had exceptional natural spear-throwing ability – could have been the best around… but he was an idiot and starved to death.

But anyway back to Adebayor… he is probably the most versatile striker around certainly the most versatile I’ve seen.

Tall, as fast as Henry, as agile as a large cat and with a defter touch – not a natural finisher, but his scoring records haven’t suffered for it. He is just as comfortable with his back to goal as he is off the shoulder of the last defender (incidentally two qualities which rarely appear in the same player).

Never doomed to large periods of injury either, so only he could tell us why he’s such a fool?

At the moment he is displaying textbook ‘Adebehaviour’. I.E. as long as he deems he has something to prove, he’ll try. Give it a few games though: praise will erode his motivation and that will be that, well – until another manager snubs him and leaves him feeling he has something to prove. His career thus far has been a tick-tock of brilliance and idiocy. In short praise Adebayor and he’ll become rubbish.

Which is perhaps why Koz and Wenger have had some kind words to say about him.

They’ve embraced an old-fashioned 4-4-2 – something I doubt they have the players to make work. To do such a thing you need a complete midfielder, which it seems the modern game is phasing out. The tendency for a midfielder in the modern game is to specialise. You’re Makelele or Ozil.

We had Vieira, City have Toure. We have Diaby, but he’s made of bone china.

I expect the team will look like this:


  Jenko                 Mert                  Koz             Monreal


                         Wilshere                        Rosicky

    Walcott                             Podolski                        Cazorla


As you may have noticed, Adebayor is their only player that worries me today. Their midfield is largely made up of statues and not the good kind (the sort with limited artistic merit). Soldado and Eriksen are both talented, but both can be taken out of a game.

Dawson is still playing for them, which pleases me. It will be a sad day for all of us; the day they finally get rid of Michael Dawson. Oh and don’t bother trying to tackle Lennon – he’ll tackle himself.

Cheers and gone,






47 Replies to ““Why do you want Zidane when we have Tim Sherwood?” | Totts Preview”

  1. I think part of Adebayor’s enigmatic behavior is due to the fact he seems to do better in a “go with the flow type of system” , where he can express his talents all over the pitch without a burden of having to execute precise tactical formations.

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he flourished under Wenger and Redknapp but suffered under Mancini, Mourinho and AVB . The latter three are well known for being strict tacticians who don’t tolerate tactical insubordination .

    In one of his interviews given when playing for Redknapp , Adebayor said he loved the system and enjoyed playing in it because Harry would tell him “just go out there and do your thing”
    Seems to me Sherwood has adopted Redknapp’s approach when it comes to Adebayor .

    I think Kos and Mertesacker are more than capable of dealing with Adebayor but I’m concerned with Monreal being able to deal with Lennon on the wing . After coming back from his injury , Lennon has been the danger man for the Spurs and tormented Evra at the OT. If Monreal doesn’t get some help against Lennon , that’s where our problems may come from.

  2. I’m fairly sure Adebayor will score today but the question that bothers me is can we score more? I’d be happier if Ozil and Giroud were on the pitch and Pod was out wide. Podolski was a bit ineffectual up top against Cardiff but if he had better service (i.e from Ozil) he might be ok. He is rusty as well. I hate the NLD and I’m staying at home this time

  3. Come on stop overrating him, I believe we met more powerfull players and Kosienly put them in his pocket.
    They were lucky to win in Old trafford, as United was the better team.
    We might win or lose today, all I care about we give our best…
    @Blacksheep, i prefer we play with Walcott and podolski as striker, specially that spurs are playing 442, their center backs are slow, and this will either have walcot through, or podolski shot from distance.

  4. Giroud has tweeted this morning that he is still sick and will watch the match on TV

  5. Very amusing watching Sky cover the FA Cup today (they don’t have the TV rights for the Cup). They are giving preference to league matches (so for the first time in a long time I can get reports on Torquay Utd) and are making quite a thing about how the larger teams are putting out reserves in Cup matches.

    For once I agree with Sky, the whole FA Cup thing is very much descending into the same level of importance as the League Cup.

    And for once I would not at all mind if Arsenal get knocked out. The fact that Man City drew, and have an extra game, gives me pleasure as an Arsenal fan. Let Tottenham have their moment, and let us focus on what really matters – the League.

  6. I guess it was inevitable Mertesacker would get a day off sooner rather then later.
    If Vermaelen lines up next to Monreal ,expect most Tottenham play to come through Walker and Lennon on the right wing. I hope we can hold a better line than in the last game at the lane.

  7. How much is Podolski worth in terms of dressing room morale? The guy always has a smile on his face, and I just loved the way he waited for Santi at the tunnel as the players went off at halftime and put him in a friendly headlock 🙂 Top man.

  8. I dont know what is the difference/reason between this game and others, but why cant we start each game with such confidence?
    Ohhh Gnabry what are you? Am I seeing a World class player in the making?

  9. @Al
    I saw that and laughed on it… What kind of a guy is he?
    If hr just had his fitness on, he could have started on left and killed the spurs, their full backs are ****, over overrated walker.

  10. Clattenburg barely had a word with Dawson about the rotational fouling on Wilshere. Jack’s ankle was almost broken a few times with no action from the ref.

    On another note, maybe it’s a good thing that the Oilers get to replay their match with the Chickens.

  11. Yassin
    Think we are not as nervous as in other games.

    I’m starting to dislike the linesman on that far end of the pitch. He’s missed that stamp on Walcott when it happened a right in front of him. And he’s called a few tight offsides against us. Rosicky!!!!!!!!!

  12. Question for Tony:
    When was it last time that Arsenal had three captains in the same game because of substitutions? Vermaelen, then Arteta, then Mertesacker.

  13. All will be quiet over at White Hart Coop tonight as the Chickens are beaten,feather all tattered and torn— yet again.
    Once more we are reminded that a cannon is always better than a chicken.
    Well done the lads, Rosicky especially!!

  14. Sammy the snake,

    You called it!

    I have only one word for Arsenal performance in this game:


    That was a sweet game. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

  15. This is how i like(enjoy) Arsenal to play. We should imagine ALL teams are Spuds.
    Good game good result lads.
    Forward ever.

  16. Curious to see what the FA will do about bentlab’s stamp which just missed Monreal at the end. He could have crushed his wrist or caused some serious damage if he’d connected with any part of Monreal.

    Clattenburg had a fine game, it’s that lino who was making lots of baffling decisions. Could he be the same one we had at City? Hope Theo is ok.

  17. Brilliant win, super team performance & good prediction by Sammy!

    Lets hope Walcott & Verminator are OK.

  18. What is most annoying about those close offside calls is that ITV just wouldn’t show the replay. Bloody hell! I smell foul play there. Many just appeared to be wrong from my living room and the fact that they wouldn’t show the replay makes me think I might be right. It is understandable to not show clear offside replays but when they are close, why not?

    Or am I being paranoid here?

  19. Wat a great game Gnabry and rosicky just having fun! Not seeming miss Ramsey, Giroud etc.
    I assume you all heard the ‘One Arsene Wenger chant?’ Awwwwright!!!
    Ox has some work cut out for him!!!
    6:22am now suns up and daughter will get up around 9:30 so off to bed its a hot day too it seems, sooo very worth it!
    COYG have a rest for 9 days then kick on! Please let theo be ok wat a legend!

  20. @bootoomee…wait a few hrs. It’ll be on arsenal.com. can clear all your doubts.

    We had that famous Robson for commentary…… And he says Arsenal now practice set play defending. Hahahahahahahaha……. And he expects us to believe that.

  21. That’s how I was feeling too, Bootoomee. Too many of them and no replays, that didn’t seem right. That lino got so many calls wrong I wouldn’t be surprised he got one or two offsides wrong. I think even Ozil gave him an earful near the end for a blatant foul he didn’t raise his flag for. And we know Ozil is not the sort to go after officials, not without good reason.

  22. Great performance even if it was a stroll. Tim gooner Sherwood will be celebrating with his dad tonite

  23. @Al,
    We shouldnt wait to see what will FA do, the club should start some sort of pressure, its not acceptible for wilshere to go 2 games banned and that man get away with it.

    @Bootoomee &Al
    Was it only me who noticed the wrong offside situations not being replayed since our game with city?, or is it a coincidence? Its only the right calls being replayed.

  24. A terrific team performance, I thought we gave the Spuds a lesson in how to play football. Spurs had a fair amount of the ball but didn’t appear to know what to do with it. I guess the result simply went to form, a top of the table team routinely beating an average, middle of the table team.

  25. @Yassin
    No, it is not only you. There were at least 3 tonight that were well worthy of checking out on replay but nothing doing. Trying to validate and preserve Riley’s 99% correct offside decision claim I suspect.

  26. You are not alone on the not replaying close offside calls. Fishy…. fishy…fishy…. Two assistants in my living room and both had on a few occasions big big doubts

  27. If I were a Sp*ds fan, I would be very concerned.
    Of the summer lot bought with the Bale booty, only Soldado/Chadli, Eriksen, and Chiriches played for three positions. Lamela, Capoue, and Paulinho did not feature. Also, there were other expected and unexpected absences or no play time for players such as Sandro, Vertonghen, Townsend, Defoe, Holtby, and Sigurdsson…
    I think Levy squandered the money instead of saving most of it for a new stadium.
    Our formation was very cohesive, and in fact easier to to defend than the Giroud + amoeba formation, but Walcott’s speed, Gnabry’s strength, and Cazorla’s close control were great. And when you score goals like those scored by Cazorla and by Rosciky after robbing Rose, no wonder Sp*ds were looking defeated after 62 minutes; in fact, it was over after Cazorla’s goal IMVHO.
    I hope we will have a fit and ready to go squad for the payback at Aston Villa in 9 days. Aston Villa got (?voluntarily) dumped from the FA cup at home earlier today by Sheffield Wednesday.

  28. I imagine Roy Keane will be getting a lot of Spuds hate mail after his “I would class it as a typically Tottenham performance. They’ll let you down most times.” comment.

    Yes, Spurs had a couple of chances but it has been a while since Arsenal has so thoroughly outplayed a side.

  29. Lets see how the media spin this loss in favour of the Spuds! There is now little argument about whether we have the depth, the attitude and the will to beat any team and to make it to the top at the end of May. This will begin to really worry the PGMOL, the media AND the Oilers. Expect the following over the next few months:

    1)More and more dubiously incorrect calls against AFC,

    2)Increased rotational fouling in order to decimate our ranks, and always ignored by the officials,

    3)More and more teams parking the bus and playing NOT TO LOSE against us, rather than playing to win,

    4)Increased confidence and passion as we get closer to winning something…especially in the CL and the League,

    5)More and more questions being raised in the media about our ability to maintain this winning run over the remainder of the season,

    6)More and more pundits saying that our injuries will derail us before May,

    7)More and more AAA’s committing suicide off London Bridge…

    IF Wenger buys some striker of star status during this TW, then we can expect our chances to skyrocket out of the stratosphere….if not, no worry…they are already sky high! We have the midfield to create so many chances that even my deceased grannie could get a few!

  30. Think you are so right OMG we will be increasingly seen as a threat to a curry of system of which we have no part but we must be dealt with. As for Roy K apparently a spud supporter as a kid hey gererous in his praise for us must say something

  31. The media sucks a lot of the time. I am not a tottenham fan (and looking up all this tottenham data isn’t helping). I wanted Arsenal to beat Tottenham. But I don’t think the media should be laying into Sherwood. People who demanded that Tottenham win got disappointed. From all I’ve read, people that enjoy good football, got to see a wonderful game. But one news report was already bring the “Sherwood Out” message. Bleech!

    Anybody who is still up, have an idea on where to track down missed penalties? Twenty years ago?


  32. @ OMGArsenal -8) Mucho black scarves clogging up the rivers and sewers ? Many with the lemmings still attached to them !
    7 & 8 – With so many filthy ‘rodents’ floating , there may be an imminent ‘plague’ in the making !
    Am not too bothered, mind !

  33. More unintended humour from the dictionary ( Well,I found it funny !)


    1.an epidemic disease that causes high mortality; pestilence.
    2.an infectious, epidemic disease caused by a bacterium, Yersinia pestis, characterized by fever, chills, and prostration, transmitted to humans from rats by means of the bites of fleas. Compare bubonic plague, pneumonic plague, septicemic plague.
    3.any widespread affliction, calamity, or evil, especially one regarded as a direct punishment by God: a plague of war and desolation.
    4.any cause of trouble, annoyance, or vexation: Uninvited guests are a plague. verb (used with object), plagued, pla·guing.
    5.to trouble, annoy, or torment in any manner: The question of his future plagues him with doubt.
    6.to annoy, bother, or pester: Ants plagued the picnickers.
    7.to smite with a plague, pestilence, death, etc.; scourge: those whom the gods had plagued.
    8.to infect with a plague; cause an epidemic in or among: diseases that still plague the natives of Ethiopia.
    9. to afflict with any evil: He was plagued by allergies all his life.

  34. @OMG Arsenal, in response, 1) bad calls are endemic in the league, numerous penalties have been denied and there’s been an abundance of phantom offsides, this is hardly peculiar to Arsenal. Officiating is poorer than last year in all games it appears.

    2) Paranoia methinks. Of course we get fouled a lot because we tend to play a brand of possession football which frustrates opponents. If you look at our possession stats in games they are nearly always around the 70 percent mark hence the inevitability of us suffering more fouls. I think Barca have the same problem.

    3) Inferior teams have been doing this for years. Manu have had the same problem up until the last season and this but they were effective at breaking it down; something we’ve struggled to do in past seasons.

    4) Let’s hope so!

    5) Well naturally. We’ve won nothing for years and now we look strong enough to remedy this many commentators will not be satisfied until we lift a trophy. Not surprising really as we usually collapse at some point in the season.

    6) Buy a couple of players and the chances of that happening decrease. We are picking up injuries quite frequently but despite this we’re still challenging for top honours so maybe we can get by with what we have.

    7) Ah you mean Spurs fans.

    A striker upgrade is a must I feel especially as both Bendtner and Walcott are in sick bay.

  35. I see that mind reading in now one of my new traits !

    4.any cause of trouble, annoyance, or vexation: Uninvited guests are a plague. verb (used with object), plagued, pla·guing.

    5.to trouble, annoy, or torment in any manner: The question of his future plagues him with doubt.

    6.to annoy, bother, or pester: Ants plagued the picnickers.

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