The Telegraph says Julian Draxler is on his way

By our man in the cupboard
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A couple of years back The Times newspaper (a name which despite its slide from grace is still known across the world) ran the story that Masal Bugduv, who plays for Olimpia Balti in Moldova was signing for Arsenal and was going to be Very Big.
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Untold and other places exposed the nonsense as a con trick which some fans, totally fed up with the rubbish that papers report, wanted to expose.  The Time never once apologised or admitted it had been done, but in keeping with its namesake in “1984” wiped the story from its web site of the players who were certain to make it in the next few years.
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Now its happened again with Talk Sprout working hand in glove with Man U fans to con Chelsea fans into thinking they were about to sign the Crewe Alexandra left-back Liam Ying (ie “I Am Lying”).  And the Dutch players Win Nowt (Win Nothing, in case you are not keeping up) plus Win Ding Youup (Winding You Up) and Brazilian Deanio (No Idea).
Very droll, and quite possibly one or two of these will turn up in the press or on BT Sprout at some stage.I wish I could say Untold doesn’t do transfer rumours, but I’ve been pulled in to a few from time to time, and have mostly got it horribly wrong.

So I run this story with a full statement of the fact that it has nothing to do with me.  I just found it in today’s Daily Telegraphy newspaper – one of the more upmarket right wing papers which does a fine line in obituaries.

They announce that Arsenal (you know who they are) is about to sign “Schalke star Julian Draxler” for £36m any day now.  It seems he is “desperate” to “move to the Emirates this month” poor lamb.

And how do they know?

“Sources in Germany on Friday night claimed Arsenal have agreed a fee with Schalke that would make Draxler the second most expensive player in Arsenal’s history and that ­negotiations with the player have already started.”

And “the 20-year-old is believed to be keen to move before the transfer window shuts.”

But Mr W has said that he is light years from signing anyone.  Ah, they have that covered too…

“Despite denials from Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger over the Draxler deal, it increasingly seems a matter of time until the Germany international arrives in north London.  Arsenal representatives travelled to ­Germany this week in the hope that an agreement for Draxler could be struck and it appears he may now be forcing the issue.”

And even if it doesn’t happen the Daily T. has the matter covered for, “Wenger [that’s Mr Wenger to you squire] is prepared to wait until the summer to land Draxler if Schalke will not let him go now, particularly as the player is nursing an injury.”

As for why we need him, “Wenger [I’ve warned you Mr Journlaist, a bit of respect please] believes he can convert midfielder Draxler into an outright forward, in much the same way he adapted Thierry Henry and Robin van Persie to new positions.”

Now the extra twist.  Remember the “release clause” of some player or other at Liverpoodle?  Well, “Draxler has a release clause in his Schalke contract set at £37 million that is effective from the summer, but the club are known to be in need of cash. Arsenal may well have accelerated their interest, fearing stiff competition at the end of the season.”

As for the rest of the saga, it doesn’t really concern us, being a matter for smaller entities but for completeness here it is…   “Schalke are keen to re-sign midfielder Lewis Holtby from Tottenham, but have so far been unable to match the London club’s asking price.”

And what next?

“Should Draxler move to London, then Schalke are likely to make an immediate bid to take Holtby, who has grown unhappy at Spurs, back to Germany as a quick-fix replacement.”

“Wenger [this is your final warning Telegraph man – its Mr Wenger to you mate] is well aware that Arsenal need more attacking options, as he has largely relied on Olivier Giroud up front this season with Nicklas Bendtner providing back-up.” (So Podolski’s goals don’t count eh?)

But what if the pesky foreigners who come over here and steal our jobs and take our women?

“Should Schalke try to keep hold of Draxler until the summer, Wenger will consider short-term options to boost his strikeforce which include Barcelona’s Cristian Tello and Real Madrid’s Alvaro Morata.”

So, believe it or not, I thought I’d take a break this winter’s day and let you know.  I bet you’re pleased I did.

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36 Replies to “The Telegraph says Julian Draxler is on his way”

  1. I’ve already made my ‘Drexler is God’ banner. Please don’t tell me I’ve now got to stash it in the attic with my ‘Suarez is god’ banner !!!

    Next you’ll be telling me we’re not getting Messi this summer!!!

  2. John cross saying very similar. True or not but have a feeling this could be a good one to keep a very close eye on the official site could be a renewal or two at the very least

  3. Sorry off topic but city losing two nil at home to Watford! Quick call in the pgmol, there is oil money at stake here!

  4. Mandy, from some “twit from twitter” at 15:38:
    > Luke: City collapsing, even with the ref continuing the tradition of making up new laws in favour of City.

    No comments from the BBC ex-spurts as to officiating quality after that twit was posted.

  5. I have to say that the website is more unpalatable to read.
    Can you go back to how it was set up. please? Thanks.

  6. Just remembered he was called up for some spain U-xx team… so will not be there I guess

  7. For years I have always said you guys are utter fools. At least you are consistent – consistently fools. Now you know better than the established press. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying we have bid for Draxler, but I am not saying we have not bid for him either. Have you forgotten the days when you used to baulk at the thought of the club spending £20m let alone £42m. Where were you fools when the Ozil story was breaking? You obviously sleep in Wenger’s bed every night to know his innermost thoughts – FOOLS!

  8. Wenger please buy this 20 year old gold from German Machine please Wenger I beg you to give us a new year gift

  9. yoo john realy, am already planning my draxler party even if the odds are 199/2 please my money should not waste… gunners on the go….

  10. well played, jambug! it’s great to start my day off with a coffee and a nice sensible chuckle.

    but yeah, these transfer seasons really wear my arse out (…if you will =) cuz of the prevailing mindset of “fling a bunch of [excrement] on the wall and see what sticks” that the journos/rags tend to have. i’m hoping that arsenal can strike whilst the iron’s hot and land draxler, who is now en vogue to be compared to RvP as the prototypical AM >> CF project. and to give you an idea of the fever pitch (…if you will, again =) that we’ve hit with this x-fer stuff, i’ve seen people create images of side by side wenger cheeky grins from the post-spurs presser right b4 the ozil signing (“maybe we’ll have a nice surprise for you”) and his most recent cheeky grin after the 4-0 coventry city walk in the park.

    if anyone knows a body language expert who could do up a proper report on what arsene’s REALLY telling us in these postgame pressers, i reckon now would be the time to employ their services.

    no matter what, i’m just hoping that arsenal can add another fresh face or two this january to help out with the forthcoming gauntlet-run in the PL that begins in mid-late feb and really flexes itself out through most of march. suffice to say we all know the run of fixtures coming up alongside the likely-humbling-at-the-hands-of-buyern, so getting someone in here who’s got that early-season-ramsey/poldoskian “kick the ball in the net” mentality will definitely help the cause.

    methinks the defense is stout and the midfield is solid and fairly deep and thus would only really need something like that pie-in-the-sky 30mil pogba bid that @football_vertex hyped up as some “major announcement that will prove it to be a glorious day for all fans of Arsenal FC”

    so yeah, while my hope was that arsenal made a move akin to chelsea plunking out the 10-12mil for demba ba last january, obviously if you’re able to get out ahead of the pack and get draxler in here now to have him fully ingratiated into the team for next season (while deftly avoiding the veritable chinese water torture of the summer window) buy all means (pun lamentably intended) do your thing cuz lord knows the old AAA/WOB crews are starting to pop up and whine again on the heels of united’s mata signing, and well, we all know how well the last united panic buy worked out, eh?

    merci beaucoup. have a glorious rest of the weekend gents and let’s hope we can draw a sheffield united, a fulham, or anyone that isn’t city/chelsea/scousers/etc for that next round of the FA cup because methinks having a season where you finish a close/ish 2nd-4th with an FA cup would finally end the trophy drought and add a little pep in their step for next summer/offseason. c’est la vie.

  11. oh and i’d be remiss if i didn’t point out that being on top of the table on january 26th = you’re damn right that arsenal should have a proper mind to go out and win the prem. i’m just saying that i didn’t expect them to really get to where they are now until next season, if not 2015-16 so no matter what happens from here on out, even if they have the dreaded “collapse” that the AAAs seem to want since they think failure is the only way to bring about change to the status quo, i’ll always be grateful for the top flight entertainment that this season has given me thus far for ~22/38 games.

  12. admiral awesome,

    Thank you sir!

    Although I believe that we are going to win the league based on our consistency, I am already satisfied with the team’s achievement so far. For a team predicted to struggle to make 4th, leading the league after 22 games (and having led after 17 of those), I gotta say well done!

  13. The Daily Mail ran similar story i have a feeling it will be Higuain situation all over again if Draxler does not sign. The newspapers will be fine but Arsene and Arsenal will look like idiots that dont know what to do with their money and the AAAA will lap it up.

  14. The have already been reports about Arsene/Arsenal trying to negotiate reduced fees from that selected by other parts of the press, definitely a plot afoot!

  15. Oh well, if we do buy draxler, giovinci, vucinic, tello, that Real Madrid chap….or for that matter, messi, Charlie Nicholas or Peter mariner, we will back them to the hilt, if not let’s appreciate some very special players we already have

  16. Draxler in or out doesn’t matter to me, but I am wandering what we are going to do with him? Where to fit him, whom to drop? I somehow cant see Arsene giving 30 millions for player who is not at least little bit better than what we have.
    If he is 15 years old I would even believe Wenger is ready to pay 15 millions and develop him. But 30 for someone who wont have immediate impact? I don’t think so.
    Draxler is “according to my German sources” extraordinary player for Sch04 and without him they can hardly make it to Champions league again, but that is for Sch04. Where it leaves us, do we need him? I don’t think so. And to buy him only because he is “next big thing”… well I think its stupid. We missed Zaha, and ?

  17. its not yet done till its done with arsenal/arsene..i predict arsenal will hold out till the last possible minute to do the deal,which will work against us since schalke knows we DESPERATELY need a striker they’ll stick to their guns with the pricing..

  18. btw Edu, if there is any truth in what media says, idea is to convert Draxler in to striker in to years to come, and to make him new RvP. So our buying Draxler will solve our desperation for striker, I guess in season 2014/15 or 2015/16. So, you are right we have to hurry.

  19. Keep an eye on arse.com, big announcement today on a big day in a big week. Guess it will be the Puma deal today, and hopefully a key contract renewal or two to follow…..for starters

  20. OH DEAR …

    Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that his wife’s birthday today.

    At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her.
    Unfortunately, he realizes that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life.

    He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young.

    Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife.

    Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He’ll wait in the kitchen.

    His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.
    Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she’s never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination.

    She thinks for a moment and then decides that she’ll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all.

    So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark without clothes. She calls out, “Marvin, come out to the hallway and look.”

    Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife,
    and exclaims, “All that money and they didn’t even iron it.”

  21. No worry how many players we have been talking about through out the trasfer seasons, be it in the january or during the summer .our management in the club has always been poor and weak ,they dont always react faster in the transfer market .surely for how long will we wait for the new signings to arrive at the club .why is wenger so much desperate in the transfer market . Our policy should be mention and buy as quickly as possible .Good day arsene wenger .

  22. Man City want Sagna now……

    Perhaps the AAA could expend their energies on a “defend our defenders” campaign

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