Arsenal have completed the signing of Barcelona star Marta, according to the Sky Sports website.

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The 23-year-old joins having won four consecutive league titles with Barcelona in Spain.

The midfielder could make her debut this Sunday against Liverpool when the Women’s Super,League restarts after the break for the World Cup.

Well, yes, I think we’d got that story, but since 99% of the stories on Goonernews are about the men’s side one wonders if the headline writer didn’t actually deliberately try and draw us in.

But never say whatever it is that you are not meant to say because look…

Bid ACCEPTED – Arsenal Set To COMPLETE Transfer Of World Cup Striker 

And this time the writer waxes lyrical.
After years of being accused for settling with mediocrity , Arsene Wenger has wasted no time this summer in going for proven quality. He has specifically targeted players who will improve his first team , and has shown a previously unmatched  ruthlessness in showing the door to players who he believes will not be able to carve out a career at the Gunners.
Wow this must be it.  But then…

The next in line to depart is reportedly 22-year-old striker Joel Campbell…

Oh bugger.  But still, just one fix, just one story that’s real, or almost half real…

I want to join Arsenal” – says £45m-rated star!

The speculations over the future of Napoli striker Gonzalo Higuain continue to grow, as the Premier League giants Arsenal and Man United are struggling to get the player’s signature, but as the Argentina international has revealed himself, he is keen to join the Gunners rather than Manchester United.
And then to pad it out there is a long ramble about how the signing of Chch lifted our spirits (mine’s a vodka and ginger thank you very much) but it is CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH.