Transfer rumour reporters refuse to be outdone by Conservative Party

by Tony Attwood

There is no doubt that the Conservative Party in the UK has taken us into a new world of homophobia, denial, anti-women’s rights and links to past terrorism in its coalition plans with the Democratic Unionist Party.

This has left the transfer rumour inventors in a quandary, wondering how on earth they can reclaim the immoral high ground of simply making stuff up.  After all, if the Conservative Party could say in their manifesto that they would take access to the internet under government control, and then go and link up with the DUP, then what could the funster bloggettas do to beat that?

Of course thinking of N. Ireland I don’t forget that the DUP leader the Rev Ian Paisley did reach an accord with Sinn Fein to bring an end to much of the violence in Northern Ireland, but the party that remains since Rev Paisley’s death is one that stands for homophobia and the denial of women’s rights without having done anything that matches to momentousness of what Rev Paisley and Gerry Adams did.

So the inventors of transfer rumours have a lot of hard work ahead to try and find a way to regain the headlines.  Here are their latest efforts.

Leaving Arsenal

Krystian Bielik – there is a battle between Norwich and Nottingham Forest to get him on loan apparently.   The Nottingham Post is worried that because of the slowness of Forest’s management, Norwich might be winning the day.  I’ve heard that general sentiment before.

Meanwhile anger is being expressed at the thought that Wojciech Szczesny might not be coming back to Arsenal after all.   Pain in the Arsenal appears particularly pained.

Talk Sprout has joined the gang claiming that “Alexis Sanchez has agreed a deal to join Manchester City from Arsenal” although it rather spoils it by sticking the word “reports” after the headline.

Bleacher Report is also running the story and claiming that City will pay Arsenal the £50 million for Sanchez and the Mirror Arsenal star Alexis Sanchez ‘finalises deal’ to join Manchester City in a “blockbuster signing.”

On the youth front Untold’s own reporter tells head office that Chris Willock has not signed a new contract and his old one is about to run out.

Spanish newspapers have meanwhile cooked up cunning plan for cut-price Bellerin move to Barcelona says the Daily Cannon.  These plans seem to involve offering a lower price than Arsenal want, or getting Bellerin to ask nicely.  Amazing what these journalists can thing up.

Stepping up

The list of youngsters who might make it into the first team squad seems to have settled, by common accord they are Reiss Nelson and Ainsley Maitland-Niles

Arriving

Here’s an interesting recent addition: Bayer Leverkusen playmaker Hakan Calhanoglu.  Chelsea and Lazio are also interested.

Arsenal are also in ‘final stage’ of transfer talks to sign Russia midfielder in shock deal says the Metro.  This is Aleksandr Golovin, but you knew that any way.  (Oh do try to keep up!).  Football London also has the story.

Video 
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OK this is not a transfer story but we were told we were lacking in our coverage this morning by not putting it on line so here it is.
Sponsor
Arsenal deny trying to ditch Emirates as the main sponsor, in the light of middle east developments.

Contracts list

And here is the official list of all the players who are under contract for the new sesaon.

  • Akpom Chuba
    Armando De Abreu Gabriel
    Asano Takuma
    Bellerin Hector
    Bennacer Ismael
    Bielik Krystian
    Bola Marc Joel
    Bola Tolaji
    Bramall Cohen
    Campbell Joel
    Cazorla Santiago
    Cech Petr
    Chambers Calum
    Coquelin Francis
    Crean Alexander Felix
    Crowley Daniel
    Dasilva Pelenda Joshua Tunga
    Debuchy Mathieu
    Dragomir Vlad-Mihai
    Elneny Mohamed Naser Elsayed
    Eyoma Aaron Jordan
    Fortune Yassin Enzo
    Gibbs Kieran James Ricardo
    Gilmour Charlie Ian
    Giroud Olivier
    Hinds Kaylen Miles
    Holding Robert Samuel
    Huddart Ryan David
    Iliev Deyan
    Iwobi Alex
    Jenkinson Carl Daniel
    Johnson Chiori
    Kamara Glen
    Keto Hugo Oliver
    Koscielny Laurent
    Macey Matthew Ryan
    Maitland-Niles Ainsley
    Malen Donyell
    Martinez Damian Emiliano
    Mavididi Stephy Alvaro
    McGuane Marcus
    Mertesacker Per
    Monreal Ignacio
    Moore Tafari Lalibela
    Mourgos Savvas
    Mustafi Shkodran
    Nelson Reiss
    Nketiah Edward
    Nwakali Kelechi
    Osei-Tutu Jordi
    Ospina David
    Oxlade-Chamberlain Alexander Mark David
    Ozil Mesut
    Perez Lucas
    Pleguezuelo Julio Jose
    Ramsey Aaron James
    Reine-Adelaide Jeff
    Sanchez Alexis
    Sheaf Ben
    Szczesny Wojciech Tomasz
    Toral Jon-Miquel
    Virginia Joao
    Walcott Theo James
    Welbeck Daniel
    Willock Christopher (Offer)
    Wilshere Jack Andrew
    Xhaka Granit
    Zelalem Gedion

Manager

Atletico Madrid manager Diego Simeone has rubbished rumours linking him with a move to Arsenal, insisting he will stay at the club, despite the fact that following the verdict of guilty in the latest child trafficking case AM can’t sign any players.

 And that’s about it for now.  More anon.

18 Replies to “Transfer rumour reporters refuse to be outdone by Conservative Party”

  1. I just hope the club hierarchy don’t pick up on this if things go badly wrong:

    Apparently, it’s all our fault the Tories are in the sit. Conservative MP Crispin Blunt said:

    “the electorate plainly have got it wrong”

    Can just see Ivan and Sir Chips substituting “the supporters”

  2. Tony, enough with the politics please – Labour still lost the election.

  3. Watching England v Scotland. Kyle Walker gets away with a blatent studs up on a Scottish player while the Scottish captain gets booked for his first challenge on an English player.

  4. I was watching England Scotland too, I was on ITV and England was kicking left to right then switched to SS1

  5. And England was kicking right to left. Camera’s on opposite side of the ground.
    I thought the tv companies tend to share recordings.
    Just a bit strange swapping chnnels.

  6. “It’s a goal keeping error”, had that been Kane we all know the what the pundits would say.

  7. Hakan Calhanoglu is another colourful character that won’t sign for Arsenal. Why? Well, he had been banned for four months because of the contract breach in 2011. Calhanoglu signed a contract with Trabzonspor and took 100.000 euros from the Turkish club but had a change of heart and signed a contract renewal with his club Karlsruhe. Trabzonspor asked for a million euro compensation on top of 100.000 euros Calhanoglu took from them but FIFA told them 100.000 euros and 4-month suspension would be enough.

    On the positive side, Calhanoglu is a free-kick master. His right-footed free-kicks are joy to watch if you are in love with football.

    If you are not in love with football, there is always a video of Stephane Filli, the Bosnia and Herzegovina Assistant Manager, who knocked two teeth out of the Greek player Giannis Gianniotas, during the post-match fight in the World Cup Qualifications between Bosnia and Herzegovina and Greece. Things get more interesting when you know that Stephan Filii had admitted he likes kick-boxing seven months ago in an interview for a Bosnian fan portal. Filli also said he had trained kick-boxing with the six-time world champion Olivier Cerdon.

    In a match that was anti-propaganda for both football as such and international football as a legal car theft, we could also seen a fight between club team-mates Manolas and Džeko, Everton’s Muhamed Bešić chasing Manolas to the tunnel and aforementioned kick-boxing assault from Filli.

  8. Doug

    Just listening to ITV’s post match analysis.

    When they did finally get round to talking about The Ox’s goal all they did was blame the keeper. They didn’t even mention the Ox’s name, not once.

    Can you imagine a goal by Kane or Rooney ever being discussed without mentioning them?

    I concede in the great scheme of things it’s no big deal, but conversely I do think it does highlight the contempt with which Arsenal players treated.

    Oh, and of course having our very own Ian Wright ignoring him makes it all that little bit more galling.

  9. @Nitram

    When it comes to the media in England, there is one major axiom:

    Spurs are untouchable.

    56 years without a league title which is not odd given that they’ve won just two in their whole history. Arsene Wenger has won three in his first eight years at Arsenal. Thanks to the Huddersfield promotion, number of clubs that have won the league more times than Spurs will be even bigger than it was last season (Newcastle and Sunderland cancel each other).

    26 years without FA Cup. The last time they won it, it was their eighth time. We had been stuck at five. So they had a solid 8:5 lead at the time. 21 years after his arrival to England, Arsene Wenger needs just one more FA Cup to even the score between himself and Spurs in terms of FA Cup trophies. We are now at 13, Wenger is at seven and Spurs haven’t moved from the number eight.

    9 years without a league cup trophy. Truth to be told, I usually consider that competition as the one England should scrap. Yes, it’s a chance for some fringe and young players to get some playing time but most clubs use their best players for the latter stages of the competition. Also, there is a stupidity called two-legged semifinals.

    Anyway, back to my point.

    The only manager that has won the trophy for them in the last 26 years was much maligned Juande Ramos.

    They’ve had two perfect refereeing years in English football – 80 (eighty! EIGHTY!!!) fuckin’ games without getting a single red card! At this rate, I expect that run to continue beyond 100.

    They won shit all.

    But they are untouchable. All other clubs get their share of mocking but they’ve been the flavour of the month for two years because the guy who would have drown in his own saliva while reciting “Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry” is their leading striker and because the thug who got sent off once the European ref was in charge of the Tottenham game is their leading attacking midfielder. And they are the future of the English national team. Because their pair of full backs – two least intelligent full-backs I’ve ever seen – are the future of English national team.

  10. Nitram,
    I think it is more than contempt for our players, it is an orchistated campaign against the Arsenal, through any means possible.
    Mix the FA, EPL, PGMOL, tabloid media, and in my opinion part of a north v south divide in England, add a certain amount of bigotry in there(murdoch), bake for twenty years and we have todays attitude towards our honorable club.

  11. Most people never like good people because it shows up their own deficiencies. They call them “do gooders” as far as i remember?

    On top of that Arsenal were invincibles for a season. I’m really surprised that they have not yet tried to “manipulate” Manu to do it too.

    I think this is why AW mostly wants players who truly want to come to Arsenal even though all the rubbish that gets thrown at Arsenal.

  12. The Labour party are a bit like Tottenham. The pundits are hailing how great they are yet in reality they’re still a million miles from winning anything.

  13. Links to past terrorism,Tony? And what might be your view on Jeremy wishing to play The Mad Hatter to Islamic State?

  14. A little bit of politics there. Jezza would be spending like a Middle East premier league club owner; only problem is he ain’t got no oil! He would of course promise us Ronaldo, Messi et al! Then we would of course have lots more gullible young fans.

  15. Corbyn is an Arsenal fan and a Wenger fan. There is no way to connect Corbyn with Tottenham no matter how creative an Arsenal fan can be.

    Tottenham represent the vision of England & Great Britain as Conservatives want them to be:

    -strong English/British core,

    -one set of rules for Englishmen/Britons and another for pesky foreigners, as we have seen in Tottenham games the last two years in Premier League,

    -return to the “real” values as opposite to the European ones,

    -an early European exit,

    -media making fake news and sending subliminal messages to their followers/readership in order to impose the distorted picture of reality as the real one.

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