By Sir Hardly Anyone, and a friend.
Read all about it, I say, Step Right Up, All you need to know, and other meaningless cries from the streets.
1: Yacine Brahimi
Arsenal are preparing to sign Yacine Brahimi but don’t like the cost, according to Correio da Manha, but the paper say that Arsenal are in front of the queue, despite not liking the bill of €40 million. He’s a 27 year old French attacking midfielder.
2: Mario Lemina
Arsenal are preparing a bid for Mario Lemina of Juventus, and it is exciting stuff because the Standard says that Mr Wenger identified him as his top central midfield target this summer. He’s like Paul Pogba we are seriously informed even though he doesn’t actually play that often as a starter for the first team. But it seems he has potential which is important.
3: Corentin Tolisso
He has said “I’m interested in Premier League move”. The cost is £30m and he is ready to leave Olympic Lyon. The Mirror says so. He’s a 22 year old central midfielder.
4: Pacos Ferreira
According to Sportswitness via every other web site I’ve never heard of and a few I haven’t Arsenal sent a team of scouts to watch Porto’s 4-1 win over Pacos Ferreira last Sunday with a view to considering both Danilo and Silva who played for 30 minutes.
5: Sokratis Papastathopoulos
Chelsea and Arsenal are interested in signing Borussia Dortmund defender Sokratis Papastathopoulos this summer, according to the Sun, which also told us that the Conservatives would increase their majority in the general election. Arsenal however are worried since the players name won’t fit on the electronic score boards without expensive modification, which the club is not prepared to pay for.
He’s 29 and he is a defender and Chelsea want him to replace John Terry. Quite why Arsenal want him when we already have lots of players is beyond me.
6: Aleksandr Golovin.
He is with CSKA Moscow, he’s a midfielder, he’s 21, Chelsea want him, and he will cost £10m. Or £11m if we buy him next week, at the rate the pound is sinking against the pobble bead.
We know about him, but apparently there is a delay in getting Mahrez because Mr Wenger is hoping to get Real Madrid and Colombia attacking midfielder James Rodriguez. If we get neither that makes the perfect “dithering” story.
1: Serge Gnabry
Bayern Munich have signed our old chum Serge Gnabry (now 21) on a three-year deal from Werder Bremen. Serge was quite a hit in the German Olympic team I seem to remember.
According to our old chum “R E Ports” this means Bayern’ “have now given up on signing Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez.”
2: Cesc Fabregas.
According to the Daily Mirror, he is the one we need to sign.
1: Kylian Mbappe
“Arsenal are “set to” miss out on Kylian Mbappe after Monaco ruled out selling the striker.”
I find that rather amusing – does anyone seriously think that the club are sitting there pondering “shall we sell him?” Mbappe has apparently been the youngest player to make his Ligue One debut, the youngest player to score a Ligue One hat-trick and became the youngest player in the last 30 years to score 10 French league goals.
2: Oguzhan Ozyakup
And Roma are making a £13 million bid for Oguzhan Ozyakup of whom we have spoken before.
3: Henry Onyekuru,
Eupen have rejected West Ham’s £7m bid as they feel uncertain about whether and when they would get the money, according to a scurrilous report of which I don’t believe a word. Fine upstanding club is West Ham. Not their fault they got the stadium for free. So Eupen are going to sell the player to Dortmund. Or failing that Red Bull Leipzig, Schalke, Borussia Monchengladbach, Lyon, Lille, Monaco, Nice, Atletico Madrid, Sevilla, Fiorentina or Roma. But not WHU. Nor Arsenal it seems. Odd that.
1: Alexis Sanchez.
Manchester City are preparing to make a £50m bid for Alexis Sanchez. But I think we already had that one. I mean, if you are going to make something up, surely it can actually be made up, but not a reprint of what someone else made up. How about £50m plus 1p.
2: Giroud to West Ham.
What is interesting is Bilic has said he wants more pace up front, and he’s not going to get that with Giroud. Mind you that Bilic – he’s such a tease. Know what I mean?
3: The Ox to Liverpool!
The maddest bunch of geezers in the pub – the Daily Express scribblers have announced that Liverpool are willing to pay up to £40m for the Alex Oxlade Chamberlain.
Craziest analysis of the week
“Arsenal’s summer transfer needs: Finding a striker is a must”. That’s from Fansided. After a season in which we were one of only two teams to have three players scoring in double figures, and scored just eight goals fewer than the champions (ie around one goal in every five games), and had a player who scored 30 goals in all competitions, we need a striker?
Of course if Alexis goes we need to replace him, but the last statement I saw was that he was not going. So no point buying a must buy striker just yet.
That’s it. More anon, as they say.