Two Arsenal deals finally done – but one is utterly bizarre. Some good player news & some awful news.

By Sir Hardly Anyone

There have been three big events for Arsenal over the last three days: one good, one amusing, one bad.

1: Elneny

On the good side Elneny has turned out to be a more than decent centre back.  Since the media has been screaming about how we leaked goals last season conceding roughly one more goal in every four league games than Chelsea, we need to reform the entire defence, and having an extra player of quality for that position is clearly helpful.

One commentator said that Elneny’s ability in the back three “was like a new signing” but he was immediately shot, because apparently one is not allowed to say that.

2: Joel Campbell

The utterly horrible news is of the knee injury to Joel Campbell while on international “duty”; he is said to be out for four to six months.  The news comes just after Joel got married to his long time girlfriend.

Bizarrely some bloggettas got into a twizzle by noting that Campbell had not been given a squad number and suggesting he was about to go to Galatasaray who were said to be are “interested in a potential £2.6m switch.”

And so on to the amusing…

3: Mbappe or Lemar?  It’s hard to tell.

The amusing is that just days after Mr Wenger said that Arsenal had never made a bid for Mbappe at all,  Jeremy Wilson, deputy football correspondent and head of fiction at the Daily Telegraph who has been telling us through the summer that Arsenal have been bidding for Mbappe has now said, “Two Arsenal bids have been turned down by Monaco for Lemar, who did not want to lose any more players ahead of the season.”  

And you might also be interested in the split infinitive that followed within the article, after all, us aristos have a duty to keep grammatical whatnot up to speed…

“Wenger’s reluctance to quickly sell Sanchez or indeed Olivier Giroud is down to uncertainty about whether he can get the 21-year-old Lemar, who could play in Sanchez’s usual position off the left, even after the club record signing of Alexandre Lacazette.”

But… oh, what is this????

4: Lemar deal agreed!!!!!  (The Star, The Sun, The Express and the Metro)

And that is not all, because there is a second deal done, although this one is truly weird.

5: Wellington comes back to boot us.

French newspapers are quoting a report by Sport Witness, that says that Wellington Silva who was sold to Fluminese with a clause in his contract that meant Arsenal had a first right of refusal if the player left the club, are buying him back, and will then immediately sell him on to Bordeaux.  Arsenal are going to pay £3.1m and will then sell him for £4.4m, an instant profit of … well that is where it got a bit sticky for the media, but they are sure there is a profit in there somewhere.

6: Marcelo Brozović and the squad revamped and the alleged watch.

Elsewhere is the news that Inter Milan star Marcelo Brozović is ‘next on Arsene Wenger’s wish list’ according to ESPN.   But don’t get too overwhelmed as the club is doing its slow-slow-slow thing and “weighing up a move for the Croatian midfielder” in order “revamp” the squad.  A squad, which as we finally agreed yesterday, was still over the 25.

Here is one I liked: “Arsenal scouts allegedly watched him in international action on numerous occasions during last season.”  The new verb: to allegedly watch.   Another split infinitive?   Inter are said to be prepared to listen to offers for the 24-year-old.