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June 2021

Just when you thought the Arsenal situation couldn’t get any worse, something very big.

by Bulldog Drummond

Just when you might be thinking it couldn’t get any worse it gets worse as along comes the headline “Arsene Wenger dealt injury blow ahead of Everton clash”.

“Blimey”, you may be thinking if your mind encapsulates such quaint 20th century expletives. “Blimey.  We haven’t dealt with things in Serbia yet, and there’s problems with the Everton game or ‘clash’ as these journo johnnies call it.  We surely must be ‘set to’ do something.  We must be ‘on alert’.”  And all the other mindless phrases these old fella-me-lads chuck out as an alternative to any use of normal English.

So what is it that has already destroyed our chances at Everton, even before we have dealt with Red Star?  It must be something BIG to be announced this far ahead.  I mean like REALLY BIG.  Sort of


What could it possibly be?

Well, according to the Metro, the great problem, the “blow” ahead of the Everton game as they put it, is the fact that, wait for it…

Calum Chambers won’t be fit for the match.

And as if making that the story behind such a headline were not enough, the source of the story is then revealed as the wild and whacky bloggetta, and home of megainventiveness Football London.

Which gives us the totally circular story.  Many of these 10-a-day web sites are owned by newspaper chains.  So the newspapers quote the bloggettas as a source and the bloggettas quote the newspaper as the source.  A perfect circle of iniquity is squared, with utter invention and contempt for the readership without now quoting those quaint Spanish web sites that were all the vogue last year.

Meanwhile and moving on, the calls for Troy Deeney to be hung, drawn and quartered, or at least hauled before a committee of old men and charged with bringing the game even deeper into the mire than it already is, have been limited to very few.  Well, none actually.

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Deeney, you may recall, announced that, ‘Whenever I play Arsenal, I’ll go up and think, ‘Let me whack the first one and see who wants it’,” which if proclaimed against any club other than Arsenal would have had the player hauled up before the beak on a charge of being wilfully idiotic and verging on Shawcrossisity or even being Dan Smith (the man who crippled Diaby and whose name will always symbolise everything that is wrong with English football).   But no, nothing happened.

The commentary is of course an advert to Europe to say “this is what you can get away with in England” and an invitation in England for less talented players to join in with the ongoing process of turning football into rugby.  Such boasting of cheating and violence would immediately be punished in many countries but not, of course, in England.  Instead you can almost hear the journalists chuckling, announcing the Deeney manifestation as “one of the lads” and “part of the real spirit of the game”.  Or in English, a violent thug who should be tagged and restricted to living on an uninhabited rock in the North Sea.

Mind you, you can understand the FA doing nothing much on a day when there are demands (at last) for various FA officials to resign.  No one is going as far as Untold in demanding the whole organisation is wound up, although this would happen in many normal walks of life.

Martin Glenn,  the chief executive of the FA, has just been openly accused of behaving in a way that was “bordering on blackmail” by Eni Aluko, whose complaints of racial remarks have finally been proven.   The FA has (extremely late in the day) apologised to Aluko and Drew Spence for racial remarks by ex-manager Mark Sampson.  It certainly is not enough, and is woefully late.  The question of how the appalling Sampson was given a job as England manager has not even been raised as yet.

But where we have a situation in which the body that controls football in England is proven (on a daily basis) to be so appallingly awful, by protecting staff who are, and have long been known to be, completely unfit for the job given, it is not surprising that the whole of football is collapsing under the weight of its own rottenness.

Up next we’ll do the round up of the team, and take a quick peek at Josh Dasilva the latest Arsenal youth player to hit the headlines and one who is thought to be in with a chance of starting the game tonight.

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14 comments to Just when you thought the Arsenal situation couldn’t get any worse, something very big.

  • Good comments on Deeney. Just another one of them with crooked ‘cojones’ not worthy of the air they breath.

  • John L

    Looking forward to Per and Rob Holding giving Deeney the Cup Final Costa treatment.

    The serious point is, indeed, that his remarks advocate the use of foul play against teams with superior skill, – all no doubt endorsed by such wise observers as Joey Barton and Co.

    I doubt that the FA leadership will resign. They don’t appear to have even the basic intelligence or awareness to understand that they have been humiliated by their performance at the Commons Select Committee. (their conduct shown up by the contraat with the claas shown by Eni Aluko and Lianne Sanderson.)

  • Cheadle

    Arsenal defeated Chelsea 3-0 in the league last season, 2-1 in the FA Cup Final, plus 4-1 shoot out victory Community Shield as well as recently holding them 0-0 at the Bridge; Arsenal players ought to have have exercised their right to impune Chelsea’s “Cojones” by now.

    I am yet to see any Arsenal player openly aim any sort of derogatory adjectives at Chelsea players or their manager. Also recall how Wenger avoided commenting on Chelsea’s incredible fall under Mourinho two season’s ago.

    Of course players are free to say what they want but you would have probably noticed that the best players always give sublime interviews whether they win or lose.

    Some standard phrases for sensible interviews


    “We didn’t give up” “They gave us a good fight and made us work really hard” “We were holding on a bit.. toward the end but we got over the line” “its always difficult playing them at home”


    “They wanted it more” “we started too slowly” “We faded toward the end” “We gave away cheap goals” we didn’t take our chances” ” “we got punished”

    Even when you are urged on by the journalist to give an opinion on “what you think is wrong with the other team”…. you should opine without being disrespectful.

    Its all about being humble in victory and gracious in defeat.

  • Andrew Crawshaw

    If the referees did their job without fear or favour, the first time Deeny, Carroll, Barton, Shawcross, Costa or any of the other thugs playing football, went in ‘hard’ with the intent to intimidate an opponent they should be sent off. We all know that that won’t happen in an Arsenal game.

  • Jax

    This isn’t about Arsenal v Chelsea or Arsenal v any other team. It’s about one player being ungracious in victory. That’s all. No big deal really. Just one clumsy lump mouthing off.
    Footballers are (for the most part) respectful to each other, ex players & managers on the other hand………….

  • Yassin

    Will deeney use the way a non talented player plays football i guess…shameful.
    Cojones? If we just thought about we wilp get 2 yellows and a red.

  • Yassin

    Hello Tony,

    Everytime I post my comment goes to modiration. Can you please fix this? Thank you in advance.

  • bennydevito

    Shawcrossisity. That is a great word and a fantastic description of deliberate intent to do harm and Disney’s comments should very much be investigated.

    Good win today though and credit to Wenger for doing the right thing in using the Europa league as an extension of the league cup and blooding some youngsters in against a high standard of technical opposition.

  • bennydevito

    *Deeney’s comments, not Disney’s!

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Deeneyque – A unique man-love-fest either towards a criminal’s violent behaviour and threats there of .

  • Brickfields Gunners


  • I have written to you via email on this Yassin

  • Brickfields Gunners

    An interesting interpretation of our (post) modern world.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    New words in the dictionary…
    Loving these new words, please add this compilation to your dictionary.

    *Errorist* : Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes.

    *Askhole* : A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.

    *Ambitchous* : Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.

    *Dudevorce* : When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.

    *Nonversation* : A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events .

    *Destinesia* : When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned.

    *Unkeyboardinated* : Lacking physical or mental keyboard coordination; unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.

    *Cellfish*: Those who continue to talk on their cell phone, oblivious to the effect on others around them.

    *Textpectation* :The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.

    *Carcolepsy*:The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and buses.

    *Hiberdating* : Someone who ignores all their other friends when they are dating a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    *Deja poop* : The feeling that the same shit keeps happening.