by Sir Hardly Anyone
I guess the logical follow on from the earlier article today is to suggest we are going to sign Jack the Ripper. Actually now I’ve written that, what’s the betting some sports web site thinks that is the nickname of a contemporary player and follows it up.
In fact we have decided to call this the Jack the Ripper List given that the techniques used by the media in “reporting” the Jack the Ripper case are exactly the same as the techniques used here: in other words completely made up just to get readers.
And so without further whatnot, here is the wonderful ever growing Jack the Ripper list of fantasy stories from newspapers, blogs, bloggetas, TV and radio.
We have six new stories today taking us up to 90 different players we are signing, allegedly.
Oh what fun!
| No. | Player | From | Source | Information |
| 1 | Yacine Adli | PSG | Sport Review. Talk Sport says the deal is certainly on for a mere £250,000. Mirror says it is for sure. | Barcelona Manchester City, Bayern Munich and Juventus want him. He’s a wonderkid. All set to sign NOW (DZ) |
| 2 | Toby Alderweireld | Tottenham | Football London | Man U interested. FL urges urgent action |
| 3 | Marco Asensio | Real Madrid | Guardian | Liverpool will pay up to £131m, Chelsea also keen. |
| 4 | Álvaro Odriozola Arzallus | Real Sociedad | Football London | Mainly right back can also play on the wing |
| 5 | Leon Bailey | Bayer Leverkusen | Talk Sprout; Football London | Cost £100m, he’s a winger or a midfielder who gives assists. Chelsea more likely |
| 6 | Mario Balotelli | Nice | Football London (who else?), Mirror, La Gazetta dello Sport | “He’s rebuilt his reputation in France” |
| 7 | Ever Banega | Sevilla | Daily Star | Argentine player, central midfield |
| 8 | Jack Butland | Stoke | The Sun, 101 Great Goals | Liverpool also after this keeper |
| 9 | Karim Benzema | Real Mad | EPR Scouts, Football Transfer Tavern, Diario Gol, | Deal agreed £35m. No €60 million, |
| 10 | Emre Can | Liverpool | Fourth Official | Liverpool won’t give him an extension |
| 11 | Jasper Cillessen | Barcelona | Mundo Deportivo, Daily Cannon | A keeper. |
| 12 | Doucoured | Watford | Football London | Play next to Ramsey to bring “much needed brawn and steel to a weak midfield.” |
| 13 | Ousmane Dembele | Barcelona (joined from Dortmund for £96m) | Express, Don Balon, Arsenal News, Gunnersphere, Telefoot | Swap deal with Bellerin even though we don’t need any more forwards and he is injury prone, but is a friend of Aub’s. Says he’s not moving |
| 14 | Kerem Demirbay | Hoffenheim | TalkSport. Liga Financial, Star, AFC Fever | Midfielder, AFC price agreed, Liverpool want him. Price agreed |
| 15 | Leander Dendoncker | Anderlecht | Fourth Official | Defensive midfield, creative midfield… |
| 16 | Abdoulaye Doucoure | Watford | Hertfordshire Mercury | Goalkeeper. Watford want to keep him. Tots want him |
| 17 | Johnny Evans | WBA | Daily Mirror, Football London | He’s the key man we need. £3m from WBA if they go down. FL just reignited the story in early June. |
| 18 | Nabil Fekir | Olympique Lyonnais | Mail. Football London | Arsenal’s number 1 target; attacking midfield. FL says maybe Liverpool |
| 19 | Emil Forsberg | RB Leipzig | Sportwitness and Calcio Mercato. £47m. | A replacement for Alexis Sanchez. He’s going to be the first signing |
| 20 | Fred | Shakhtar | Gibfootballshow | Arsenal to get him for £30m |
| 21 | Willem Geubbels | Lyon | Football London | 16 years old forward, Barce, Leipzig and Chelsea also want him |
| 22 | Alex Grimaldo | Benfica | Read Arsenal | Left back. Man U, PSG & Monaco fancy him |
| 23 | Jose Gimenez | Atletico Madrid | Marca, TalkSport, SportsReview | £53m but no sooner is it announced than we are set to miss out on him. That hardly seems fair |
| 24 | Alexander Golovin | CKSA Moscow | Football London | Midfielder. One of the players we must buy before the WC |
| 25 | Goncalo Guedes | PSG | Liga Financial | PSG must sell because of FFP, Arsenal have announced interest |
| 26 | Kai Havertz | Bayer Leverkusen | Metro, Mail, Tribal Football | AFC and Liverpool want him. Midfielder; B,L’s youngest ever player |
| 27 | Dean Henderson | Man U; Shrewsbury | Mirror, Football London | Wants to leave to get 1st team football. He’s a keeper |
| 28 | Ahmed Hegazi | West Brom | Transfer Tavern | Defender |
| 29 | Lorenzo Insigne. | Napoli | CalcioMercato.it. Football fancast | An attacker, aged 26, Italian international |
| 30 | Jakub Jankto | Udinese | Teamtalk | It’s either Arsenal or AC Milan |
| 31 | Jorginho | Napoli | Hot Stepanovs | Faster and smaller than Xhaka |
| NEW | Lukas Kolstermann | Leipzig | Bild says yes but Football Fancast says no | Full back; can play left and right |
| 33 | Kalidou Koulibaly | Napoli | Daily Mirror, Gunnersphere, Guardian, Corriere Dello Sport, Tribal Football | Centre back; top priority, Chelsea, Man C and Liverpool want him |
| 34 | Layvin Kurzawa | PSG | Sportsmole, the Week, | To replace Bellerin |
| 35 | Alban Lafont | Toulouse | Arsenal Mania, Daily Canon | Goalkeeper, Boyhood supporter of Arsenal. “Set to leave”. But he’s only 19. |
| 36 | Thomas Lemar | Monaco | ArsenalNewsHQ; Mirror; TalkSport. Star, Different League | Deal confirmed; has rejected a new contract. All go!!! Or he has “become available” |
| 37 | Stephan Lichtsteiner | Juventus | Just about everywhere | SIGNED. Right back, available free, he’s 34 and he will be the first signing. “It’s done” (Football London) |
| 38 | Matthias De Ligt | Ajax | Football London, Mirror | Centre back; Tots and Man C also want him. Has handed in a transfer request |
| 39 | Bernd Leno | Bayer Leverkusen | Football London, Daily Express (they are certain), Bild | A keeper available for just £22m. The story has popped up again after a month of silence.He will be first signing. |
| 40 | Diogo Leite | Porto | A Bola (which is a Portuguese “outlet” not a virulent disease; Guardian | Centre back |
| 41 | Joel Lopez | Barcelona | Sports Lens | 21 year old left midfield |
| 42 | Lozano | PSV | Sport 360, Arsenal mania | Winger who can cut inside |
| 43 | James Maddison | Norwich | Mirror, Sport Review, Birmingham Mail says it is about to happen | Midfield playmaker; Tottenham, Everton, Brighton Southampton & Man C also want him |
| 44 | Harry Maguire | Leicester | Sky Sports | Centre half. Man U also want him. |
| 45 | Malcolm | Bordeaux | FootballBible, Sport Review, Gunnerspheree, Football London | Winger; everyone is interested; he says he goes in the summer. But might go to China. No will play in a 3 man line behind the number 9. |
| NEW | Gelson Martins | Sporting Lisbon | “Arsenal fail with £26m bid to sign Sporting Lisbon star” Metro | HITC says Everton wants him. He’s a winger. |
| 47 | Joao Mario | Inter on loan at WHU | Fourth Official | Midfield, and said to love London |
| 48 | Lautaro Martinez | Racing Club de Avellaneda | Gunnersphere | Striker. Inter have offered €20million |
| 49 | Anthony Martial | Man U | Sun, 4th Official | Signed by United from AC Monaco in 2015, the £75.7m |
| 50 | Alex McCarthy | Southampton | Football London | Goalkeeper. |
| 51 | Max Meyer | Schalke 04. | Football London, Daily Canon, Guardian, Talk Sport, Express. Contract ends this season. FL still talking it up | Attacking midfield or playmaker. Liverpool battling with Arsenal New Santi Cazorla |
| 52 | Radja Nainggolan | Roma | The Sun, Gunnersphere | He’s a powerhouse midfielder and will cost £45m |
| 53 | Keylor Navas | Real Madrid | Don Ballon, HITC, | A goalkeeper looking for work. He’s 31 |
| 54 | Robert Navarro | Barcelona | Daily Mail, Canon | He’s 15 and plans to leave on his 16th birthday. Arsenal have made an offer |
| 55 | Wilfred Ndidi | Leicester | Mad About PL, Goonertalk, African Football, Sun | Midfielder, Man U want him too |
| 56 | Saul Niguez | At Madrid | Mirror, Arsenal Station | £130m will get him. Midfielder |
| 57 | Stephen N’Zonzi | Sevilla | Football London | Def midfield. In March FL had him “jetting to London) now they are not so sure. Maybe he got lost. |
| 58 | Abulkadir Omur | Trabzonspor | Turkish football says Ozil recommends him | Central midfield |
| 59 | Oguzhan Ozyakup | Besiktas | Mail. Football London says Wenger obsessed the transfer | Arsenal to bring back their ex-player at the end of his contract |
| NEW | Cristan Pavon | Boca Juniors. | Mirror says WHU want him, Sports Mole says we are close | We’ve already held talks. He’s 22, a forward |
| 61 | Danilo Pereira | Porto | O Jogo | Defensive midfield, currently injured |
| 62 | Dennis Praet | Sampdoria | Football London says one we we must have him, next week no | Attacking midfielder |
| 63 | Pablo Moreno | Barcelona | Mundo Deportivo | He’s 15 and his contract runs out at the end of the season |
| 64 | Jan Oblak | Atletico Mad | FootballBible; Gibfootballshow, Star | Goalkeeper also wanted by Chelsea and Liverpool. 100m euros. At Mad “expect him to leave” |
| 65 | Panagiotis Retsos | Bayer Leverkusen | Goal, 4th official | Greek South African defender |
| 66 | Ivan Rakitic | Barcelona | Star | Attacking midfield |
| NEW | Rodrigo | Valencia | Fotomac, Football Fancast | Selling Lacazette to buy him. He’s a 27 year old winger |
| 68 | Sergio Rico | Sevilla | Football London | Goalkeeper; won the Europa twice |
| UPDATE | Sokratis Papastathopoulos | Borussia Dortmund | Birmingham Live, Gazzetta dello Sport, Football London, Evening Standard, Read Arsenal. Hatchet job from Pain in the Ars. L’Équipe says it is done | Man U, Juventus, Chelsea interested in 29 year old defender. Arsenal now favourites. He’s going to be 1st signing. Final details being arranged |
| 70 | Adrien Rabiot | PSG | Football Lond spotted him at London Colney | Defensive midfield; 1 year left on contract |
| 71 | Richarlison | Watford | EPL Scouts, 4th Official | Forward, Chels & Tots also; Arsenal miss out & Arsenal to hijack deal, both on same site!!! |
| 72 | Daniele Rugani | Juventus | Whoscored | Defender. Agent confirms |
| NEW | Morgan Sanson | Bordeaux | Express says we are fighting Tottenham for this player | 23 years old, midfielder |
| 73 | Jean-Michael Seri | Nice | Mentioned on Arsenal.com. From the Mirror and Metro, Star, Mail, Standard, Hard Tackle | Midfielder but Arsenal have been too slow and Chelsea have got him, just as they lost out last window. |
| 74 | Bassem Srarfi | Nice | Foot Lond – but they changed their mind. | Winger or midfielder. He’s 20. Going to Leicester? |
| 75 | Andre Silva | Milan | Mad about EPL | Attacking midfield “sensation” but failed to show his attributes this year. Wolverhampton also interested. |
| 76 | Chris Smalling | Man U | Daily Canon, Sport 360, Daily Star, Guardian | £25m will get him |
| Update | Caglar Söyüncü | Freiburg | Football Whispers, Arsenal Station, Sky Sports, Telegraph, Talksport, The Sun, ESPN, 100 Great Goal Price about £35m | Central midfield. Liverpool, Man C, Dortmund “in race”. He wants a guarantee of 1st team footie. He’s going to be the first signing |
| 78 | Anderson Talisca | Benfica on loan to Besiktas | O Jogo | Brazilian attacking midfield |
| 79 | Kieran Tierney | Celtic | Football London | Left Back |
| 80 | Corentin Tolisso | Bayern | Foot Lond | Bayern bought him last year for €40 million. Now Arsenal are buying him for €60 million. No! |
| Update | Lucas Torreira | Sampdoria | TuttoMercatoWeb, Sport Review, the Metro, Calciomercato Sampdoria, the Express, Daily Star | A defensive midfielder and he’s going to be first |
| 82 | Cengiz Ünder | Roma | Tuttomercato; he’s a goalscoring winger | £26m offered £40m demanded |
| 83 | Josha Vagnoman | Hamburg | ESPN (2nd youngster player in the German league ever) | Arsenal, Chelsea, Everton all want him |
| 84 | Timo Werner | Leipzig | Arsenal mania, Sun | 21 year old who has scored a multitude of goals |
| 85 | Ben Wilmot | Stevenage | Sportsmole, Gunnersphere. The 72 | 18 year old played a dozen or so games. Totts also interested. Price is £2m |
| NEW | Jack Wilshere | Arsenal | Evening Standard saying he will not sign new contract until his playing position is defined by manager | Obviously he’s with us but some sites now treat him as having left unless he signs again |
| 87 | Wilfried Zaha | Crystal Palace | Liga Financial | Arsenal making a bid of £25m |
| 88 | Cristian Zapata | Milan | Giants Football News | Defender |
| 89 | Piotr Zielinski | Napoli | The Mirror | Midfielder: “An essential signing” |
| 90 | Andrija Zivkovic | Benfica | Football Facts, The Record, EatSleepSports ArsenalStation, Telegraph, Giants, Tribal Football, Sport Witness | 21 year old striker. Man U also want him Price is £52m |
- Jack the Ripper and football transfers: the media’s interest is in the survival of the media
- Deals deals deals. Arsenal are signing players like there is no tomorrow
But Freddie signed!
https://www.arsenal.com/news/freddie-rejoin-head-coach-u-23s
and Ainsley, too
https://www.arsenal.com/news/ainsley-signs-new-long-term-contract-2
Sir,
He may not be a new player but there is great news that Ainsley Maitland-Niles has signed a new long term contract and will wear the 15 shirt this next season. Well done and all the best for the new season to him.
Another youngster, Yassin Fortune has left the club to join Swiss side FC. Scion. He has spent three years at Arsenal but a string of injuries has prevented him from progressing as he would have liked. I hope this move turns out well for him.
Also announced today Robert Pires is rejoining the club as head coach to our U23 team for next season. I was right in expecting a new head coach but wrong about who it might be. Wellcome back Robert, good to have you back with us.
AC.
According to media reports, Maybe you wantedb to say Freddie Ljungberg is now the newly appointed Arsenal PL 2 squad head coach and not Robert Pires.
AC.
According to media reports, maybe you wanted to say Freddie Ljungberg is now the newly appointed Arsenal PL 2 squad head coach and not Robert Pires.
Samuel,
Thank you yes I did mean Freddie Ljunberg – senior moment I’m afraid!