The Top 10 Arsenal stories of the day and no mistake!

Gathered and preserved by Sir Hardly Anyone and the man behind the bar at the Rutland Pug.

STORY ONE: Guess who? 

FootLon that website owned by the Daily Mirror that loves to put forth 40 tales a day has a new tactic with the headline  “Arsenal news live: Star ‘shakes hands’ on deal, Gunners contact Barcelona for star.”  Unfortunately amidst all the tittle tattle that precedes each article, they forget to tell us who.  A cunning ploy.


However, according to reports from Calciomercato in Italy, Arsenal are said to be keen on a move for Dennis Praet from Serie A.   Apparently and allegedly he could finally get his move to England if any interested clubs move quickly.

He moved to Italy from Anderlecht in 2016, and allegedly has a €25million release clause in his current contract, although it will expire during the first week of August, so presumably its all up for grabs now.  (What a good phrase, has anyone used that before?)


This summer has been bereft of the story that has dominated the bloggettas for more than two years.   But today Sportskeeda runs the headline “Bellerin rejects ‘crazy’ transfer rumours.”  I really do think these editors ought to work that bit harder to maintain the old traditions.

Story Four: IWOBI SIGNS a deal that will make him 8,650,000,000.   

That is Nigerian Naira and that was in the Sun.  The deal is said to last five years.


Yep, after all the negotiations and all the hassle, according to the Telegraph we are not going to put him in the team.  Of course Untold is just about the only place that is suggesting we won’t just have a Cup team and a League team, we’ll have a League home and a League away team.  So everyone else is giving us a team.

And here it is, Ramsey less.


Bellerin Mustafi Sokratis Monreal

Xhaka Torreira


Mkhitaryan Lacazette Aubameyang

Mind you the old Rear Admirals generally know a thing or two, and Givemesport says it is so.  GMS also says that this would leave the likes of Shkodran Mustafi, Laurent Koscienly, Sead Kolasinac, Mohamed Elneny, Ramsey, Alex Iwobi and Danny Welbeck on the bench.

Well yes, but we still have to sell players.  And actually Mustafi is in the team listed above and the captain is out until Christmas.

6: READ ARSENAL says Ousmane Dembele

Apparently, “Arsenal have contacted Barcelona over a possible deal to sign Ousmane Dembele in the future, should the Frenchman become unhappy at the Nou Camp.”

7: Guendouzi is Great – THE STAR AGREES.

“Arsenal fans hail Matteo Guendouzi the next Sergio Busquets after epic passing display” says the Star, publishing its piece on line at 1511 today.  We went live at 1342 with  “Why was Matteo Guendouzi so inexpensive? Is this Gilles Grimandi up to his works again?”   Not bad for the Rats.  (That’s Star backwards and reflects the way they approach the concept of long term relationships.  Please try to keep up). 

8:  Fanatik and OSPINA

Arsenal have agreed an offer from Besiktas to loan goalkeeper David Ospina next season according to Fanatik.

9:  Two more signings: The SPROUT REVIEW

They say The Arsenal “is keen to sign Polish teenager Sebastian Walukiewicz and Leverkusen star Leon Bailey this summer, according to a report in England.”  Wow I must have missed that one.   But then The Sun is reporting that our business ain’t yet done.

Does anyone know how to say those names?   And yes of course it is the Sport Review.  I am being daft.

10: Arsenal exit currently ‘on hold’ as club need to get rid of player before buying

Sport Witness has been reading Untold!   Apparently Lucas Perez to Lazio hasn’t completely disappeared, it’s just theress a Felipe Caicedo in its way.

And that as they say is that apart from the all important


Academy Schoolboy Flores Joins Arsenal from Ipswich.

And that really is about it.   The top story this evening on News Now is “Barcelona transfer news live: Ousmane Dembele to Arsenal; Barca want to balance the books”

Top story on Gooner News is that “According to report reaching us, the Gunners are believed to be in talks with La Liga giants Sevilla over the signing of Steven N’Zonzi are ready to do business. It’s claimed the midfielder has a £35.5m release clause that has to be paid in full.”

Now you know.



2 Replies to “The Top 10 Arsenal stories of the day and no mistake!”

  1. Hi Tony!
    Your post and the headlines are hilarious in both cases. I think the Mirror is going to publish the rumour about Van Persie leaving for United. What rot!

  2. DailyMail has a story where they describe Arsenal as dismal. Giving up 51 goals, 13 more than any other team in the Top-6.So, next worse was 38 goals. The square root of 38 is about 6. So Arsenal is about 2 times the square root of 38 worse. That small a difference could be just due to random factors. Such as hitting the woodwork.

    What is dismal, is the author coming up with this work.

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