By Tony Attwood
Yes the car thieves – the international managers who go round nicking players, wrecking them, handing them back and then demanding that that players are made fit for the next round of games.
So who suffered this time around?
Well they certainly worked hard with the wrecking ball, knackering as many players as possible with their useless and pointless games. 16 players got done, and the team suffering the most is Liverpool! Here is the list…
Arsenal: 1 (Sokratis Papastathopoulos). Expected to miss the Leicester match.
Brighton: 1 (Gaetan Bong). Details unclear.
Burnley: 1 (Stephen Ward). Surgery pending
Chelsea: 1 (Ethan Ampadu). Knee injury
Crystal Palace: 1 (Wilfred Zaha). Slight injury
Everton: 1 (Idrissa Gueye) Ankle injury.
Huddersfield: 1 (Philip Billing). Came home early but details scarce
Liverpool: 4 (Naby Keita). Hamstring. Could be out for a while. (Sadio Mane) – broken thumb expected to miss one game. (Virgil van Dijk). Two broken ribs. (Mohamed Salah) – muscle strain
Manchester City: 1 (Danilo). “Left the pitch in tears”
Newcastle United: 1 (Ciaran Clark). A major doubt for the weekend.
Southampton: 2 (Shane Long). A collection of knocks and bruises. (Stuart Armstrong). Calf problems.
Tottenham Nomads: 1 (Victor Wanyama) Thigh injury, not too serious.
West Ham: 2 (Arthur Masuaku) Ankle problem but not very serious. Robert Snodgrass. Ankle problem.
Of course some of these players will be fit enough by the weekend to play, but it shows that the car thieves who parade themselves as international managers are up and raging, meandering and getting players to kick hell out of each other.
In the current premier league injury table according to physioroom.com, West Ham and Huddersfield are ahead of the pack with eight men out of it, followed by Manchester City, Tottenham Nomads, Liverpool!, Newcastle United and Manchester United.
Arsenal are in the bottom half of the table lurking on four. Cech, Mavrapanos and Koscielny are the other three besides Sokratis. Physioroom have Sokratis listed as a “slight doubt”.
The hero of the idiotic internationals was seemingly Mkhitaryan who scored one and had two assists as his country beat Macedonia 4-0.
Meanwhile Eddie Nketiah got his 18th goal in 19 games, or so I am told. I wonder how much longer before we see him an absolute fixture in the Europa and League cup games, at the very least.
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