Arsenal Transfer News: the weird and wonderful, and the tales of loanees

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Apparently it is all known and all sorted.  Because Tony Cascarino has claimed Unai Emery will dispense with Mesut Ozil and Henrikh Mkhitaryan because they don’t suit the new-look Arsenal.  It’s possible although Cascarino has always puzzled me.  Being Irish I thought his name should be O’cascarin, but somehow the O got transmuted.

Anyway we shall see.

Still, that’s only the start because elsewhere we are told that “Arsenal must land 6ft PL rock to find a perfect replacement for Lucas Torreira”  This is from the Football Transfer Tavern – a mythical pub in which the mythical regulars regularly get really drunk and say funny things.

Is Torrerira leaving – and soon?  Well I don’t think so but still we are told that “the Gunners should plan a move for West Ham midfielder – Declan Rice,” seemingly as a replacement.   Then they add, “Valued at £13.5m by Transfermarkt, the defensive midfielder has developed into a crucial player for the Hammers under Manuel Pellegrini.”

And there is that lovely assumption that just because Arsenal would want him WHU should let him go – an assumption that then leads onto the possibility that if we didn’t get the man it would be out fault.

Oh yes, and apparently, “he would be a massive upgrade on Granit Xhaka”.  Well, what can one say?

Meanwhile ESPN say that Ramsey is going to Bayern Munich.

Elsewhere loads of people are running the story that Thierry Henry is keen to take Smith Rowe to Monaco on loan.  That is in the Daily Canon, Tribal Football, The Week, Caught offside and MSN.  But Just Arsenal Fans goes further, because for them it is not an idea – it is a DONE DEAL.   As in “CONFIRMED!!! Emile Smith-Rowe will join Thierry Henry at Monaco “

So you heard it here, well, not quite first, but later.

The incredibly bonkers and fantasy drivel generator Football London have all the looks of an organistaion that appears to have read about the new fangled idea of statistics and so like to put them into, well, everything.  As in their headline “How Liverpool draw has affected Arsenal’s chances of a top four finish this season”.   Apparently as a result of that, err, result, Arsenal’s chances of getting a top four finish has gone down by 1%!”


Speaking of statistics virtually no one is mentioning who it was who had the best statistics in Arsenal’s defence against Liverpool.  It was in fact Mustafi, although Holding got picked for the BBC team of the week.

Anyway, enough of this nonsense, how, you maybe asking are the loanees doing?  Here is a quick rundown.

  • Reiss Nelson scored another goal for Hoffenheim as his team beat Bayer Leverkusen 4-1.
  • Matt Macey played in goal for Plymouth Argyle as they lost 2-0 to Sunderland.  I am not too sure that this season is turning into a good career move for our Matt.
  • Krystian Bielik played the whole game as Charlton Athletic beat Doncaster Rovers 2-0.
  • Kelechi Nwakali didn’t play any of the game as Porto B drew 0-0 with Leixoes, which must be rather disappointing.
  • David Ospina – oooooooooh poor Ospina.  He left Arsenal to start getting games and now we find him as a substitute (unused of course) as Napoli beat Empoli 5-1.
  • Takuma Asano our eternal Japanese long term loanee in Germany didn’t get a game either as Hannover lost 3-1 to Schalke.  No future with us I fear.
  • Calum Chambers at Fulham is injured but hopes he will be fighting fit when Fulham play  Huddersfield Town.

And here’s a little spot of news concerning Tottenham who didn’t buy anyone in the summer, who don’t have a stadium they can use, and who sometimes play mudball at Wembley.   Apparently they are going to sign Cengiz Under from Roma for 60 million euros.  Thus beating Arsenal to the player.   (He’s a Turkish right winger and you know how much we need another top price right winger.  Bleedin’ obvious ain’t it.)

Oh yes and sky sprouts have just discovered the proposals about changing the rules in football.  I thought they might ask Paul Merson for his view.  But no it seems they are asking us to vote for the changes we want.  Not quite sure why.  When has anyone ever listened to fans?