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The transfer fiasco: an Untold exclusive
- Transfers for the big spenders are not working, so why does the media want more of them?
- Arsenal could win the league, if only the club would listen to its critics
- Why does high spending on transfers send a club down the table
By Sir Hardly Anyone.
Just ten days to go and at last the gibberish-mongers are managing to get across the saloon bar of the Toppled Bollard public house on the edge of Wapping Swamp in East London, in order to make up more transfer news stories.
Remember that only 3% of all transfer stories are generally true (at least that is the figure from recent years) so most of this is pure and utter gibberish – but you knew that anyway.
Well Talk Sprout are telling us that “Arsenal step up pursuit of defensive reinforcements as Paris Saint-Germain left-back Layvin Kurzawa and Getafe centre-back Djene Dakonam are targeted.” In a later report they are certain Kurzawa is about to happen.
Meanwhile 442 report that Arsenal are about to make a Jerome Boateng loan while they prepare £50m summer move for Dayot Upamecano
HITC (and yes that is HITC which stands for, well, “Here is the City” or “Hughes Information Tech Corp” or “Half inch tape cartridge” or “Hope in the Community” (if you live in Kent) or Hanoi International Tech Centre (in Vietname) or “Highest Interexchange Transporter Charge) or something else say that “According to the Daily Star, Arsenal are set to step up their chase for Bayern Munich’s Jerome Boateng this month, before pushing for Dayot Upamecano in the summer.”
Fo Lo (which stands for 50 Arsenal stories a day) tell us that “Thomas Lemar continues to be linked with a loan move to north London, with Tottenham also reportedly interested.” Hmmm.
But now, what’s this, Wilfried Zaha, the star of the summer window, “continues to be linked too, alongside Dayot Upamecano, two players Arsenal have held interest in previously.” Wow. Another winger??????
Pep Clotet has suggested that ‘half of Europe’ watched Liverpool and Arsenal target, Jude Bellingham, in action, (I think that is what we human beings call an exaggeration) as he is confident that the highly-rated youngster will stay at Birmingham (which is what we call a let down).
“At the age of, 16, Bellingham is already wowing one and all, therefore, it isn’t a surprise that the European champions and the soon-to-be Premier League champions, Liverpool, are keen on the English sensation, along with a host of Premier League clubs, including Arsenal.” Or so we are informed.
The Daily Mail previously claimed that Liverpool are keen on the attack-minded midfielder, whilst The Telegraph also reported that the likes of Arsenal, Bournemouth, Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City are also interested in his services.
So there we are and here we are, and so say all of us. Here are the transfer rumours thus far…
|No||Player||Currently At||Position||Source / Notes|
|???||???||???||Centre back||HITC devote whole article to saying we are getting someone but we don’t know who. https://tinyurl.com/quxj5ak Red London now copying this approach.|
|2||Nathan Ake||Bournemouth||Centre back||FoLo. Chelsea want him|
|3||Max Aarons||Norwich||Full back||£30m; Mail|
|NEW||Jude Bellingham||Birmingham||Striker||Football London; Liverpool also want him|
|Update||Jerome Boateng||Bayern Munich||Centre back||Gunnersphere, Football Fancast. Sempremilan says no deal. TBR says it will be a loan.|
|6||Hakan Calhanoglu||Milan||Attacking midfield||Football fan cast say the “fans” have already turned against him.|
||PSG||Striker||Edinson Cavani has handed in a transfer request over the weekendTBR Football|
|8||Yan Couto||Coritiba||Defender||A teenager, no less!|
|Update||Djene Dakonam||Getafe||Defender||Centre back can play right back. Talk Sport have this is a major possibility today|
|10||Merih Demiral||Juventus||Defendender 50m.||Fotomc / Sport Witness|
|11||Firmino||Liverpool||Attacking midfield||TalkSport. Speculation|
|12||Omari Forson||Man U||Attacking midield||He’s 15; HITC|
|13||Bruno Guimarães||Athletico Paranaense||Midfield||Benfica and Borussia Dortmund both want him – The Star|
|14||Christian Kabasele||Watford||Defender||NBC Reports|
|15||Thilo Kehrer||PSG||Part swap for Lacazette; Bleacher|
|Update||Layvin Kurzawa||PSG||Left back||The Sun “according to reports” in France Football, say he’s signed a five year deal from next season. PSG says no (Caught Offside). Or yes, contract agreed (Caught Offside!) Free transfer in June (Mail)|
|Update||Thomas Lemar||Atletico Madrid||Left Wing||Read Arsenal. Team Talk says as part of Lacazette deal. Football London says its a loan deal.|
|19||James Maddison||Leicester||Playmaker||Football Insider|
|20||Dries Mertens||Napoli||Striker or winger||Metro, FoLo. WHU want him also|
|21||Thomas Meunier||PSG||Right back||World Soccer Talk|
|22||Thomas Partey||Atletico Madrid||Defensive midfield||Express|
|23||Leandro Paredes||PSG||Central midfield||Part Swap for Lacazette; Bleacher|
|24||Adrien Rabiot||Juventus||Midfield||Star. £25m|
|25||Boubakary Soumare.||Lille||Midfield||Read Arsenal|
|26||John Stones||Man C||Central defence||Sun, HITC|
|27||Dominik Szoboszlai||Red Bull Salzburg||No 10||FoLo|
|28||Samuel Umtiti||Barcelona||Centre back||Sport Witness|
|28||Cengiz Under||Roma||Winger||The Boot Room. £34m|
|30||Dayot Upamecano||Leipzig||Central defence||Express. France u-21|
|31||Kevin Volland||Bayer Leverkusen.||Forward||World Soccer Talk|
|NEW||Wilfried Zaha||Crystal Palace||Forward||Football.London, who seem to be re-running the summer transfers to save them making up anything new.|
There will be more, of that I think we can all be sure. Meanwhile, the British Royal Family is moving to the North Pole. I thought you’d like to know that.
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