Virus ignored: Arsenal now linked to 30 different players for inwards transfer this summer.

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Well yes, there is a growing awareness that civilisation as we know it has come to an end, and there is no football being played.  But we still have a bunch of bananas writing in the national newspapers and associated websites and they are determined to pretend that everything will start again on June 1, with both football coming back and the transfer window creaking open.

Actually that last point is vitally important; it creaks open but slams shut.  I mention that just in case you are suddenly called upon to write a column for the Daily Turnip on Arsenal’s latest rumours, largely because all of the existing journalists have gone down with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis – the disease with the longest name in the medical dictionary, and thus always worth learning just in case.

Meanwhile it is very amusing to see a transfer possible to be cited as coming with “Arsene Wenger’s seal of approval”.   Oh my, he never got that when he was manager, despite the string of brilliant transfers he arranged.

So here we are, at the end of civilisation as we know it, acting out the 1975 TV drama “Survivors” created by Terry Nation who also created Daleks and “Blake’s 7” (which they kindly let Tony get involved in, much to the hardcore fans disgust, so don’t ever go out for a drink with him – when the pubs re-open because he’ll gone on and on about his BBC days and really it is all a bit much…).

Anyway, I don’t think any channel has run Survivors again (I must have missed it if they have) probably because it is just too much like what we actually have now.  Had anyone taken any notice of the show we wouldn’t have all this problem now, but do they listen?

But enough of this, none of this virus stuff is actually happening, it is all a government fake news ploy, and I know this for sure because the transfer stories are running like there is no tomorrow (which now I come to think about it is perhaps not the best choice of words at this time, but I expect Tony will sort that out when he edits my fine prose).

We are now up to 30 transfers and the window opens in a mere 63 days.   Slacking behind a little I think.

I used to the think that the number of rumours stagnated because the journalist fiction writers were spending too much time in the Toppled Bollard, but the Bollard has shut its doors, so they can’t be in there.  It must be alcohol shortage that is slowing the old buzzards down.


No Player From Details Source
1 Miguel Almiron Newcastle Their top scorer Media Referee
2 Leon Bailey Bayer Leverkusen Chelsea also want him. £85m fee. Just Arsenal
3 Dani Ceballos Real Mad Currently on loan Express
Update Philippe Coutinho Barcelona Attacking midfielder on loan at Bayern.  Being talked up as a near certainty Talksport, Express
5 Marc Cucurella Barcelona Left back or wide midfield FoLo £20.9m
6 Jonathan David Gent Second striker Football.London
NEW Ousmane Dembélé
Barcelona Forward AS, Sun
8 Issa Diop WHU Centre back for £60m Mirror, Metro, Read Arsenal, HITC, West Sussex Today, Sun
NEW Odsonne Edouard Celtic £50m; goalscoring forward Glasgow Live, the Evening Standard, Caught offside, the Scotsman, Who scored, and Celtic Star
Nebil Fekir Real Betis Forward, 26 years old, injury prone
Read Arsenal
Ryan Fraser
Bournemouth Scotland International, winger, £12m turned down last window
Metro; was hot topic last year as well.
12 Bruno Fuchs Internacional Centre back
Zero Hora, TBC
13 Antoine Griezmann Barcelona £90m for the forward.  PSG Man Utd, Chelsea, also interested Express, the Star and Mirror, Last Word on Football
14 Diogo Jota Wolverhampton He’s a 23 year old forward Sport Review, 4th official, Mail, FoLo, Whoscored
15 Gabriel
Lille Defender  £40m Everton also want him (Mirror)
NEW Pape Gueye, Le Harvre Defensive midfield Liverpool also interested.  Folo, World of Football.
16 Calum Kavanagh Middlesbrough 16 year old ; forward Lancs Post, The 72, Northern Echo
17 Orkun Kokcu Feyenoord 19 year old midfielder Express, FoLo
NEW Matty Longstaff Newcastle Central midfielder who will leave on a free The Mirror; Team Talk
20 Dejan Lovren Liverpool Defender. Tottenham interested Express, HITC, FoLo
NEW Evan N’Dicka Eintracht Frankfurt €24m-rated France U21 international, He is left-footed, and 20-year-old Sempre Milan, Daily Canon and Sky, Star.  Liverpool also interested.
22 Ruben Neves Wolverhampton Midfield Sports Mole
23 Thomas Partey Atletico Madrid Midfielder Metro, Goal.  Squawka quote €50m.  HITC also
NEW Declan Rice West Ham Holding midfielder in the style of Gilberto Express (according to Arsenal “legend” P Merson)
Update Chris Smalling Roma on loan from Man U Centre back Just Arsenal News; Arsenal lauch £25m bid; Mirror
NEW Carlos Soler Valencia Central or right midfield Sky Sports, Standard, FoLo
NEW Malick Thiaw Schalke 04. 18 year old central defender Sport Review; Daily Mail Liverpool and Man C also interested.
NEW Dayot Upamecano RB Leipzig Central defender.  Was all the rage as a transfer a year ago Football.London
29 Chris Wood Burnley Replacement for Aubameyang Lancs Live, Who Scored, Up the clarets and Team Talk
NEW Freddie Woodman Newcastle on loan at Swansea Goalkeeper, 23 years old Chronicle, Sun, Wales online. Totts and Everton interested

One Reply to “Virus ignored: Arsenal now linked to 30 different players for inwards transfer this summer.”

  1. OT: PGMO still training

    Report (press release) says they are maintaining fitness, and taking additional training in VAR. Also mentions that 😈 Mike Riley has been to Kuala Lumpur. Vacation, or spread the “knowledge”?

    Apparently Anthony Taylor is volunteering with the NHS (different story); his sister is a doctor. Some mention about him being considered for UEFA 2021; I hope not.


    Medja still making up stories. One is claiming some report has been leaked. Another says ManUre are going to buy a player for 450 million. It’s a buyers market, I doubt any such sale would be 45 million, 4.5 million would be more like it.


    Disappointing the medja can’t be looking into corruption at this time. Criminals probably need to wash the same amount of money now, and with sports betting largely gone it would be harder to wash it. Presumably easier to spot it. Are players or officials addicted to betting? They could be easier to spot in the absence of sports betting.

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