Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
. By Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, head of psychiatry and odd behaviour at the University College Hospital of the North Circular Road. . It is like a drug I suppose. You know it makes no sense at all, clowns to the left of me jokers to the right… . But still everyone has to …
Read More “Confirmed Arsenal complete 2 shock moves and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx I don’t usually like to talk about the most important positions on the field for a team as I think that you can only win when all 11 players are performing well enough. But the attacking midfielder certainly is one of those positions that can decided if your attack can score enough goals. …
Read More “Those attacking midfielders. What next for Arsenal?”
Nat Whilk- Clerk. Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time 1: Who had the biggest Willie? a) Willie Old b) Wee Willie Winky c) Willie Carson d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young was playing …
Read More “It’s saturday night and time for another Untold Quiz (or not as the case may be)”
by Andrew Crawshaw The senior squad for all Premier League teams is 25 players aged 21 or more of whom at least 8 have to be ‘home grown’. The age limit is calculated from the 1st of January in which the league season starts. My understanding of Home Grown means a player who, irrespective of …
By Tony Attwood I’m not always willing to admit when I get it wrong. Sometimes I prefer to hide under the sofa for a few months and hope no one notices. But today, well, today is different. If I have got this one wrong I shall be shocked, amazed, amused, annoyed and extremely happy, all …
Read More “Man C discover that Uefa’s FFP if not dead at all but is still alive – and kicking”
By Iva Madeitup So here we are again, another day another load of spoof headlines. The last collection proved to be just about the most popular piece Untold has published this year, so here are eight more, all garnered today, 16 June. As The Who famously said, “Won’t get fooled again”. Arsenal News – …
Read More “Personal Terms Agreed For 28 Goals €30m Rated Arsenal Target and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx Having analysed the defensive midfielder I thought the next step would be the box to box midfielders. As they are called now. In my days these were just midfielders who run a lot, but that is the modern times for you. I put Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere in this category and …
Read More “The box to box midfielders: comparing Ramsey, Wilshere and the Ox”
By Tony Attwood In 1968, Sir Alf Ramsey described the West Ham player Martin Peters as “ten years ahead of his time”. It was a singularly odd phrase from a singularly odd man, and one that I suspect Peters came to hate, as every time he failed with a pass or a cross everyone repeated …
Read More “Football as a means of money laundering. Now there’s a blast from the past.”
By Nat Whilk-Clerk. 1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game? Willie Nelson Nelson Mandela Lord Nelson Sammy Nelson Darth Nelson. Ron Jerem 2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for? a pile of bricks a pile of …
Read More “Thursday night is Arsenal quiz night. Well, some night has to be”
By Walter Broeckx Let us now have a look at the probably most mythical position on a football field: the defensive midfielder. For this I took the 3 players who have played in that position: Coquelin, Arteta and Flamini. Coquelin had the most match time from the 3 followed closely by Flamini and then the …
Read More “Arsenal player review: the mythical beast position”
By Tony Attwood So Jack has been fined £40,000 for shouting “What do you think of Tottenham?” and using the word “shit” in a public place. Which is the same amount as Suarez was fined for racism by the FA. It really makes me wonder about the FA’s scale of values. The Suarez incident occurred …
My apologies – the site is still playing up a little, and not publishing the articles with the right time stamp. Sorry for any oddity you might notice. Tony By Walter Broeckx Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main …
Read More “Arsenal’s season in review: our three central defenders”
By Tony Attwood Leaving aside the infinite number of players who are linked, for whom Arsenal are on red alert or who have been seen driving round and round the M25 looking for a signpost saying Highbury, there are a fair number of players who could either breakthrough or make a return. Whether any of …
Read More “Which of these 11 players will make the breakthrough for Arsenal next season?”
We had a technical glitch this lunchtime – not an attack, just a server glitch – and although this article was published it then vanished and reappeared with the wrong date on it. So I’m publishing it again, in case you were not quite quick enough to catch it last time. Bloody Computers! Tony By …
Why do they treat us with such contempt? By Billy “the Dog” McGraw, senior consultant in social deprivation at the University Hospital of the North Circular Road. I would like to start by telling you exactly who the deal is done for, but unfortunately this is where things break down a bit. I mean, I …
Read More “Deal done and confirmed; medical to follow. Pictures!”
By Tony Attwood, with thanks to Nick the Gooner Maybe it is to hide the embarrassment of their total cock-up in failing to cover John Henry’s revelations about how he lied concerning the Suarez transfer, or maybe they think there is good readership to be had by knocking Arsenal day upon day, but whatever …
Read More “In the war on Arsenal, the Telegraph is not giving up.”
Tim Charlesworth Following the cup final there was a general consensus in the ‘commentatorsphere’ that Arsenal would challenge for the Premiership next season, but only if they bought ‘two or three high quality improvements. This started me thinking about who or what these reinforcements might be. So here is a view of Arsenal’s players and …
By Tony Attwood Carl Jenkinson came to Arsenal in 2011 from Charlton for about a £1m transfer fee. On 11 November 2012 he was given a new six year contract by Arsenal which was reported by the not-necessarily believable Daily Mirror to include a salary of £25,000 a week. He had played just eight …
Read More “What happens now to Carl Jenkinson could be a model for the future.”
By Tony Attwood Last season’s second half improvement was hardly new for Arsenal. Indeed looking back through the club’s history, for every amazing start to a season (like 1947/8 where we won the first six and didn’t get defeated until game 18 – and went on to win the league) one can find multiple seasons …
Read More “Why did Arsenal do so much better in the second half of the season”
By Tony Attwood I’ve just had a call from Blacksheep who, for reasons that will not become clear at this point, is currently driving his car in the outer reaches of Scotland. And he has told me that he has received confirmation from Arsenal that his project to get an Untold Banner up in the …
Read More “The Untold Banner at the Emirates: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
by Andrew Crawshaw Tony picked out some headlines from the newly published Football Observatory article, I also saw it and thought the analysis looked interesting. I am not going to go over the aspects that Tony covered but concentrate on the last table in the article, the overall squad value. The article compares the squad …
Read More “How Squad Values allow an near perfect prediction of league position”
By Gibberish McGibbon Our man with a spot Easy mistake to make of course. Arsenal going to sign a keeper whose name starts with C so we all get worked up about Petr Cech. But no, it turns out it was not him after all but was in fact Iker Casillas of Real Mad. The …
Read More “No! There is a keeper whose name starts with C, but it was the wrong guy!”
By Tony Attwood When Arsenal toured Brazil in the summer of 1949 it was hailed as a national event in Brazil. They welcomed what they called “the greatest football machine in the world.” When after the first press conference Arsenal’s manager Tom Whittaker was very annoyed with the way his comments were reported in the …
By Tony Attwood Players released in June, as per Premier League rules, may still be re-employed by their club on a new (and normally lower salary) contract, but also may leave to seek employment elsewhere. Hence in the list below of the players released today, it is possible that this will happen with one or …
Read More “Farewell, farewell. The released players’ list 2015.”
By Tony Attwood Not all of the media is heading our way of course but there are signs that, given the bit of hiatus there has been in Fifa news for the last few days, there is a bit of reflection going on as to where we might go next. Now of course no one …
Read More “Shock, horror, media edges towards Untold’s ideas. This must be the end…”
