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Blackburn vs Arsenal: The sad tale of Fat Sam and a chicken

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By Billy The Dog McGraw

Some articles write themselves.  You know how it is, you take a swing of the 1947 vintage you have been keeping for the weekend, and the next thing you know the whole computer screen is covered with the most wonderful prose in the history of prose, and the bottle is empty.

Which leads me to Blackburn – an empty bottle if ever I saw one.

“We want good football and Blackburn to be fourth or fifth in the league or even better,” said Mrs Desai, who seemingly owns the club. “The fans should trust us because this is in the best interests of the club.”

She’s quite a gal, that one.  One month after buying the club they sacked the Allardyce character who perfected the team-bus-parking approach to football. Enough to make her an honorary gooner in fact.

“I had never watched a single football match in my life [before buying Blackburn]. Cricket, yes; hockey, sometimes; but never football” said the new owner, and presumably added, “And now having watched a Sam Allardyce team I still haven’t watched football.”

The owner is a psychologist who likes poultry and who has turned Venky’s has grown into the world’s second largest poultry producer.   But she is probably just another in the infinite line of people who think football is just another business.  She has probably even said, “How hard can it be?”

So the Venky’s Group wanted more ­entertainment at Ewood Park, plus a top-five finish and a British manager.  Like I said, “how hard can it be?”

Martin Jol, Sven-Goran Eriksson, Diego Maradona were talked about as possible managers.  Not really English, although Sven might be called that now, and Martin is an English sounding name after all.  Dave Jones, was mentioned, but then they realised he was Welsh.  Steve McClaren (an umbrella), Martin O’Neill, Alan Curbishley….   “We want good football and Blackburn to be fourth or fifth in the league or even better.”  Oh yes!

“It is nothing against Sam but we have a different vision looking forward and we want the club to grow.”
Well, she’s wrong there.  There’s everything against Sam, but still, we’ll let them play.  Steve Kean is the boss, and the fans are revolting, but we knew that anyway.  Oh how I love Blackburn!

Blackburn’s owners have appealed to fans to help them come back from the poor start that the team have made to the season with support rather than protest over the appointment of Steve Kean.   But the Blackburnese are revolting, as you know.

Venky’s have made the plea on Rovers’ official website, and when a club does that you know they are in trouble.  I mean, before the Swansea game I read on an anti-Arsenal Arsenal web site that mass protests against our Lord Wenger would be held before the match.  Huge banners and billboard advertising were arranged.  Ten or twelve different protest groups would march together.

It was drivel of course, but that’s what most of us season ticket holders and regular watchers know it is.  The club just got on with life.

But with Blackburn, they don’t have that style.   They beg the fans not to protest, but they probably will.

The statement on the Blackest of Black Blackburns site read: “We understand that there is a sense of disappointment and anger amongst our fans at the recent performance of our team Blackburn Rovers, which was not up to the expectations of the fans.

“We fully understand your feelings and share your disappointment.

“At times like this, when the team is going through a bad patch, they need all the support and encouragement they can get from the fans to boost their morale and enable them to perform at their best.

“This is the time when the fans can make a difference by lending their full support and to cheer the team more vigorously than ever and help the players to renew the confidence in themselves.

“On behalf of Venky’s we would like to reassure the fans that we are fully aware of our responsibilities towards them and the club and to football.

“We are fully committed to making sure that the team’s performance improves and that the recent setbacks do not stand in the way of regaining our club’s standing in the Premier League and in the admiration of our fans.”

One web site says that the marchers will be demanding that the club approach ex-manager Mark Hughes with a view to bringing him back to the club.  Glen Mullan who is from the area may or may not have told the Daily Mirror: “The numbers look like hitting the 1,000 mark so the fans are keen to have Steve Kean removed. It’s going to be a peaceful march, but we want to make our point and there will be banners made. It’s about time the owners listened to the fans. We want someone who is experienced and can relate to the fans.”
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So, we’ll let them get on with it shall we?
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Phil will (I trust) be doing our regular proper preview, and I’m off down the pub.  But meanwhile here are some names I pulled out of the hat…

Szczesny the magnificant

Sagna, Koscielny, Mertesacker Santos

Song

Arteta, Theo

Gervinho van Persie Arshavin

Rather eccentric I know, but hey, life’s too short to muck about.

You f*cking, lying cheats and stupid parrots. (What Cesc really said)

3 comments to Blackburn vs Arsenal: The sad tale of Fat Sam and a chicken

  • rusty

    Theo behind the striker would be an interesting choice indeed!

  • menace

    Mrs Desai and Wankers the chicken farmers…. lol

    It is quite amazing that Blackburn have fallen into the perfect hands – chicken farming Hindu Bramins. Incidentally Mrs. Desai probably runs a veggy household but breeds Wanking chickens for the masses as it makes a lotta rupees.

    So we are going to see a Samba and Wanking chickens perform on the English playing fields of Blackburn Rovers. Ain’t that peculiar but such a testimonial for the EPL.

  • did you say eccentric?? lol well, I agree ^^