By Sir Hardly Anyone
During the last transfer window approximately 450 different players were touted to be coming to Arsenal in January. Since only 25 could be registered in the team – and that only if the current 23 were all shunted out – it seemed a little unlikely. And interestingly, until the move towards his transfer was actually happening there was no mention of Mo Elneny. That story was mentioned, Arsenal gave discrete nods, and it went through.
From which we can learn that if it is mentioned as a transfer rumour, it won’t happen. If the story emerges from around Arsenal, and stabilizes for a day, it will happen.
Now in any other line of business, a bunch of grapefruits who were so useless at their work that they got 450 ideas wrong, and missed the one that was right, would all bugger off to the salt mines to do penance.
But no, do you know what they now do?
Well, dearly beloved, I shall tell you.
One or two try and tell us the transfer window is actually still open. “Done Deal: Lethal Striker signs for Arsenal after Transfer Window shuts down” says Faceofffootball with the news that
Young striker Donyell Malen has signed his first professional contract with Arsenal football club until 2018.
Otherwise the bloggettas tell us that the players who are at Arsenal actually want to leave. And do you know, the poor saps who believed all the tales about transfers that were never going to happen, now believe these stories!
Arsenal star unhappy with boss Arsene Wenger
is one story from “Arsenal Station.” They say, “According to a report in the Express newspaper, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is unhappy with Arsene Wenger and is contemplating his position at the club.”
Meanwhile the ever wretched Squawaka tells us about the player who is about to demand a transfer in the summer because he is so angry with Wenger.
David Ospina is believed to be fed up at Arsenal and will look to leave the club in the summer.
Elsewhere we have
Looking back, when Untold started campaigning against the notion that transfers meant anything, and that transfer deadline day was as interesting and worthy of newspaper coverage as a shriveled bunch of grapes hanging on a clothes line in the suburbs Mexico City, there was general disregard for our position. Some even said we were a bunch of drongos who knew nothing. We were just ignored.
But Untold’s tracing the wild and insane stories and focussing on the bloggettas – the little sites with their five line stories – did seem to have some sort an effect.
For a start, almost all the bloggettas stopped fixing their sites so that readers were suckered into clicking on an advert (thus earning the site owner money) rather than the “story”. That technique is now being used on the sites that advertise at the foot of newspaper articles with stories about how to lose weight, models who have become ugly, and how to pass a driving test without learning to drive.
And the press started to change too. The Daily Mail wrote very negatively about the endless hype of transfer deadline day, while even Sky Sports seemed to learn you can’t wring blood from a dried up walnut… and their audience figures proved it.
The Telegraph started to focus on transfers that DIDN’T happen… with tales such as “11 Premier League players left stewing at their clubs after the window closed” and amazingly some even turned their attention away from Arsenal being the only club not to …. [fill in your phrase of choice]. So we also had “Why was Klopp so quiet during the window?” and “United were crying out for some new blood, why didn’t they sign anyone?”
The Guardian reviewing Arsenal’s position didn’t even do the “Arsenal fans will be horrified at yet another transfer window passing without a proper signing” but instead said,
A drama-free, shock-free window. Arsène Wenger wanted cover in central midfield, a player with the capacity to play the defensive role and he got Mohamed Elneny, who looks like a smart signing. He did not want anyone else, and so he did not get anyone else. End of story. The return of injured players pleases the manager more.
Goodness. That is almost measured.
Mind you some of the end-of-window stuff had the mark of desperation, with “Saints make late loan bid for the Ox” (the Sun – you really have to laugh, or cry), and the Telegraph quickly followed with “As reported by our man Daniel Johnson at the weekend, fans at the Emirates are slowly showing signs of increasing frustration with the Ox’s performances.”
So, more mind reading. What a pity they couldn’t see into a future that included a day trip to Bournemouth.
At the very end though there was some desperation. “Manchester United are being heavily linked with a loan move for Debuchy” was one press headline, and apparently Arsenal were about to sign Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. But didn’t.
Debuchy was then off to Aston Villa. Kieran Gibbs was off to Newcastle United. But ooops no they weren’t.
Kelechi Nwakali and Samuel Chukwueze apparently signed for Arsenal. But did they? No mention of them on Arsenal.com
Arsenal were certain to buy Dynamo Kiev forward Andriy Yarmolenko, according to the Daily Star but I don’t think we did.
Edinson Cavani, the Paris St-Germain striker, has got his bags packed and is ready to quit the Ligue 1 champions and runaway leaders for Arsenal on deadline day.
So: rumour mongers minus 450, Arsenal plus one. I wonder if anyone will remember that when the build up to the summer transfer market starts…. next week.
You might also enjoy…
- Arsène Wenger to write the Foreword for the next Untold Arsenal book
- Bob Wilson writes for Untold Arsenal: that most unforgettable of days
- 10 February 2010: Despite the previous games being a draw with Villa and two successive defeats to Chelsea and Man U, Arsenal beat Liverpool 1-0 and start run of six successive wins.
- 10 February 2015: A 2-1 home win over Leicester signalled the start of Arsenal’s revival with eight straight wins. Before the match Arsenal were sixth. Two matches later they were third, and six matches after that second.
Insult of the day
He be as good a gentleman as the devil is. (Henry V)