Arsenal News
Arsenal News & Transfers
As featured on NewsNow: Arsenal newsArsenal News 24/7

Arsenal News, Only Arsenal, Blogs, Transfer News


October 2016
« Sep    

The Brickfields Gunners Blog – Fantasy Football Series Part 1 .

Nearly every other day either a new and juicy scandal breaks or  some allegedly well kept secret is revealed . How does this impact Untold Arsenal ?  Well , UA and its inner core of reporters /investigators have been exposing the wrong doings going on in football for years .
As its readership grew ( Over 6.25 million page views in the past year),  it apparently became a threat to the  old established orders .
Years before the rest of the world caught on , Untold Arsenal  had been highlighting (ad nauseam), the misdeeds of FIFA ,UEFA , the English  FA and other national FAs, the shady and secretive PGMOB and the complicit  and pliable media. That Arsenal were disproportionally  bearing the brunt of it was very evident to the AKBs, and whose sense of injustice was what drew us all here.
We have had people come on here to call Tony,  Walter and the rest as mad conspiracy theorists, and other unsavoury names, and instead of looking at the proof in the bulk of the evidence provided, they would try to cast aspersions on the authors of articles . Many gave vague threats of retribution and violence (some others just tore their season tickets, started wearing black scarves and carrying black bin bags! Some made stupid banners.)  Many may have tried to disrupt  the site by cyber attacks . There have been so many instances that this site was on occasion not accessible for hours on end. Sometimes even days. That was when the experts , including the Brickfields Gunners was called in to go after ‘them ‘.
With Internet technology advancing and accelerating at such a breakneck speed and exhilarating rate (as  opposed to the normal usage of brains), it  was only be a matter of time before this site started to  use the latest state of the art gizmos and gadgets to prevent and keep out all and any unwanted ‘intrusions’ and casual excursions by ‘them’ .
 The AKBs have been regularly calling out for the culling of the undesirables who just love to gatecrash  in here  unwashed , uninvited and unwanted, to stink up the place, and to allow the faithful to wander in without any hindrance  and undue irritation from ‘them’ .   This will allow the true believers to absorb the truth, facts and the varied arguments and points within the hallowed confines and comfort of a cyber safe cocoon .
So what are these new  and marvellous inventions  and innovations  that The Brickfields Gunners has installed, you ask.  Well , here goes …..
1.  The first login  LOCK & LOAD –   Each new login will automatically be ‘assigned ‘ a special coded nano virus bug that can never, ever be effaced from records . It  also crosses the human skin barrier, so that it will infected the pest … I think I meant the host! So, if the person ever tries to post under different names he will be easily detected and ‘quarantined’, while  his device will experience ‘the runs’  via spam and all other unwanted popups ! He in turn will be laid open for a ‘cleansing ‘ ofMontezuman  proportions !🌋
Don’t even think of clicking the DISLIKE button repeatedly!
2. The Double  Barrel   Effect     –  Here, the  regular disingenuous perpetrator  who comes here on to pooh-pooh well researched articles with his stupidity and ignorance will be blasted to smithereens . Again his devices will experience ‘disturbances ‘ at very odd times and at very inappropriate moments, and that too in very high decibels. From The Donald’s  embarrassing ramblings, Don King’s speeches, to elevator music and even ….shudder …..White Rap  (Ice , ice baby ! ) !🎵
For the individual too , he will be prone to outbursts – the nano virus corrupts his nervous system and he loses control of certain body functions. Especially the vocal cords, the gastric, anal and urinary sphincter control. And lots of painful and  unwanted boners!
3. The  Blunderbuss    –  This is for the harmless but  loud,  bleating stupid sheep like that don’t think for themselves and make fools of themselves on here.  The loud sounds of laughter and derision  that emits, when their devices ring or when in use as well as whenever  they say the darnest things, ought to stop them in their tracks and get them to rethink . Until they repent this will be their  assigned Avatar on UA  – .
This is also  of course how they will sound whenever  they open their mouths !
4.  The Derringer  –  This is for those sly, small minded but poisonous posters who try to insinuate  themselves here, with their mixture of slime and hate. The effect ? It hits like  a mule’s short but sweet kick to the nads ! The devices will give out a sharp and sustained burst of electric charge. Takes time  recovering from this one, and boy, oh boy, is it going to hurt!  No sex anytime ! Semen will be fried and no further passing of genes will be possible .
This is of course is only the very  beginning , and as  more funding becomes available for research, newer fail safe additions will be included. We have been contacted by  certain interested investors quite recently who are  apparently  and suddenly awash with a lot of offshore cash!
Since all AKBs and the faithful will be afforded  and accorded  suitable and safe  protection , the above is for  only ‘them’. Yes, YOU !
You have been warned !

Recent Posts

Danny Karbassiyoon’s book “The Arsenal Yankee” with a foreword by Arsene Wenger is now published.  You can buy the book…

  • On line here for £14.95, plus delivery
  • Or by phone on 01536 399 011 using a credit card.
  • Or by Pay Pal to  Don’t forget to enter the title of the book and your delivery address on the Pay Pal site, and calculate the full amount including delivery, see below.
  • Or by post to Hamilton House Mailings Ltd., Earlstrees Ct., Earlstrees Rd., Corby, Northants NN17 4HH with a cheque.

The book is also available on Kindle.

12 comments to The Brickfields Gunners Blog – Fantasy Football Series Part 1 .

  • Matt Clarke

    He he he he – I wish 🙂

  • colario

    Write/right on ‘the brick’ by our one and only Brickfields! 🙂

  • Al

    Haha, offshore cash 🙂

  • bjtgooner

    Well done Brickfields! I really enjoyed the possibilities as outlined!

    Looking forward to part 2.

  • Couldn’t stop laughing, yet couldn’t stop reading! Imagine my agony! You, my man, are simply the best!

  • Mandy Dodd

    Very good stuff!

  • goonersince72


  • Brickfields Gunners

    Thanks , guys . It’s all apparently working well , as most of ‘them’ have been infected and disabled ! Fells so fresh and non stinky today !

    In part 2 ( and depending on the funding – our investors are being outed hourly!) we will be bringing out the big guns .

  • Brickfields Gunners

    When I Was a KID ~

    PUSSY Meant a CAT

    SEX Meant GENDER


    DICK Was a NAME of a cartoon film,

    BANG Was a SOUND.

    JOHN was a name .

    NUTS were fruits

    RUBBER Was Nothing But an ERASER


    COCK was a male bird

    SCREW was Just a Fixing TOOL

    HEAD Meant a Part of BODY

    BALLS meant a Round TOY

    LUBRICANT was oil

    ORAL meant poetry recitation

    & then…. I met U’all –my friends,….

    And my education got messed up..!!!

  • omgarsenal

    Brick me lad….a marvelously wistful trip down sado-masochistic Lane!!! One question; what If the perpetrator is a female? No sordid details needed as most of these castigations would work quite well, but the BONER part might not, unless a gender transformation was part of the process….now that might be a great idea.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Don , that’s a question that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole !
    Oh ,oh , wait….let me rephrase that…..

    Anyway sometimes I feel that most of ‘them’ sound a lot like these guys –

    There’s Trouble Brewing Guys

    Several months ago, scientists at Europe’s annual human reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption.

    The theory states that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men were each fed 6 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn’t perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.

    No further testing is planned.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    “O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!” — William Shakespeare, Othello

    “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

    “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.” — Finley Peter Dunne

    “Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it.” — Anonymous

    “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” — Anonymous