By Bulldog Drummond.
Arsène Wenger stands firm but Arsenal are standing still and close to meltdown shouts the Guardian and of course alongside it is another very tatty banner held up by a very tatty supporter, or at least he would be if we could see him.
So since the press won’t ever acknowledge that some of us actually paid to put up a positive banner, Untold continues to be the one and only place where you will get the truth. Some people have anti-Wenger banners, and one group of us put up a pro-Wenger banner. But just because it is just us, that is no excuse for the newspapers to be so utterly lopsided.
The Guardian can’t even be arsed to put up a match preview of the game today. The Independent likewise, going with “Arsenal news: Arsene Wenger rules out summer exit despite supporter unrest” and the Telegraph has “Arsenal vs West Brom: An imagined minute-by-minute timeline of misery” which is not only rather silly, but rather misses the point as to why some of us go to matches.
But then, those sports writers don’t pay to be there, so you can’t really expect them to understand.
Thus, without the pay, it is pretty much down to us to do the work of the press – and not for the first time by any means.
Starting with the fair play table, WBA are a bunch of dirty buggers, and when you recognise that Arsenal players are much more likely to get cards than the opposition (see all the reports from our referee team over the years), this is quite a feat.
This table shows league games only, and the way the points in the final column are calculated is shown at the end. Violent thugs at the top, nice guys at the bottom.
|2||West Bromwich Albion||40||73||3||326|
|8||West Ham United||41||62||6||282|
- Caution 4 pts
- Denial of a goal scoring opportunity or dismissal for 2 cautions 10 pts
- Violent conduct, serious foul play, spitting or offensive and abusive language
One nice thing I found doing this bit of looking up was a message on the FA website saying
AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED
Well yes, we knew that. It was on this page – although they may have changed it by the time you see it.
So what will Mr Wenger do? The injury table has no particular surprises… You know the story – Arsenal get more injuries than any other team because Mr Wenger doesn’t know how to train players and forces them to do all the wrong things except…
Oh, that isn’t quite true.
|7||With an absolute right to rule||4|
|13||Very dirty Albion||3|
|15||The Tiny Totts||2|
|17||State Aid Utd||1|
|18||Long Ball City||0|
Anyway, the wild ravings of the semi-skimmed press corps has changed the name of Liverpool! into Liverpool!!! as noted above.
Do we want to give anyone else a chance to play? Per Mertesacker, Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott and Olivier Giroud. Jack is no longer injured, but obviously not yet ready. Santi is running around we are told.
As for the Wild and Woolly Aggressors of the Premier League, Berahino missed two penalties against the even more aggressive Watford. Pritchard is a doubt, Morrison is out.
Mr Wenger said to the scribbling wildebeests, “I would like to remind you that if we win against West Brom, we are third in the league and, if you look at the history of the club, over 140 years, and the consistency of the club, you will see that it’s not a shame, even if we are not happy with it.
“The season is far from over. It depends on who you play and the commitment you face. Against West Ham and Crystal Palace we were not efficient enough. That is a regret. It’s my job to get the team 100% ready.
“Every time it doesn’t work you question yourself, it is part of the job. In the end it is always down to me and I stand up to that.”
West Brom head coach Tony Pulis said, “We get to go to these football grounds and play against great players, great football teams, at great stadiums. You relish it, you shouldn’t be nervous or worried about it. You saw what I did with Stoke, and it is no surprise that the one thing my team is challenging for is top of the league in the indiscipline table.”
Actually I made that bit up, but you know what I mean. And anyway the papers make it all up, so why not. Here’s the table
|6||West Ham United||34||14||14||6||57||43||14||56|
|14||West Bromwich Albion||33||10||10||13||31||40||-9||40|
West Brom did the dirty on us at their place but they haven’t done the double since 1961/2, and they have lost eight out of nine Premier League games at the Ems – a 3-2 win in 2010 being the only time they have won.
The crowd, we are told will be small. There will be four of us from Untold there but otherwise I don’t think there will be very many – at least that is what the press are saying. So come along if you want a seat.
Arsenal are of course utterly useless as everyone knows, having let in 11 goals in 16 home league games which is the worst in the league. Oh, no, not quite the worst. Second worst, No, hang on. Oh. Only Manchester United with seven have let in fewer.
We are also the only team to have scored in every game against a side currently in the bottom half.
But of course all our players are useless and not playing well. I mean that ludicrous Alexis Sanchez has scored or assisted seven goals in his last six league games (four goals, three assists). I mean six in seven is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Like all these injuries we get all the time.
Oh. Well at least Ozil is still nicking a living.
And we are still waiting for Premier League win 500. And still only Manchester United with 583 have won more. Which proves how awful we are.
West Bromwich Wobbleybob have won one of their last 11 Premier League away games, drawing five and losing, oh, let’s work it out, 1, 2, 3, 4, yes five. All ten of their League wins this season have been by a one-goal margin; seven by 1-0.
West Brom have scored 50 goals in 51 games in the Premier League under Tony Pulis. Can you imagine what that is like to watch.
Bellerin Mert Kos Monreal
Iwobi Ozil Alexis
On the beach…
Walcott, Campbell, Giroud, Gabriel, Elneny, Ooooooooooooooooooooospina, Chambers.
Top player ratings for Arsenal:
Ozil 7.68, Alexis 7.64, Koscielny 7.45.
The WhoScored forecast
|Arsenal will dominate possession|
|Arsenal will score from a wingplay situation|
|Arsenal will score from a fast break situation|
|Arsenal will score a long shot|
- What Arsenal really needs
- Arsenal v West Brom Thursday 21 April 2016 – The Match Officials
- The 29 players signed by and linked to Arsenal 10 weeks before the transfer window!
- REF REVIEW WEST HAM – ARSENAL: A new entry in the table of shame
Untold Arsenal has published five books on Arsenal – all are available as paperback and three are now available on Kindle. The books are
- The Arsenal Yankee by Danny Karbassiyoon with a foreword by Arsene Wenger.
- Arsenal: the long sleep 1953 – 1970; a view from the terrace. By John Sowman with an introduction by Bob Wilson.
- Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football. By Tony Attwood, Andy Kelly and Mark Andrews.
- Making the Arsenal: a novel by Tony Attwood.
- The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal by Mark Andrews.
You can find details of all five on our new Arsenal Books page