by Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw
Chief psychologist at the Institute of Certain Things, The University Hospital of the North Circular Road.
I would like you to know that normally I don’t do sundays, but there have been so many calls on my time from members of the aaa utterly distraught that their banners and proclamations that “Arsenal were the only club not to sign an outfield player in the summer” have to be set aside, that I seem to be back on the job.
As it were.
Of course I have pointed out to the young laddie who brought the matter to my attention that recycling banners was not quite my thing, but that since Arsenal might not sign a goalkeeper this summer it might be an idea to cross out “outfield player” and write in “keeper,” and that kept them happy.
But I am also here as I have been called in by the lovely Mrs Vardy to give her guidance and support after a bunch of hearty roughs from the Midlands Eastern Quarter published a tweetette type things saying that she is a traitorous whatnot for persuading her husband to head for the bright lights.
Mrs V did apparently publish a Twit complaining about the traffic in London, which when it comes down to it is as good as being seen at the estate agents in Totteridge peering in. (Hint to Mrs V – try Bishops Avenue – I find it most conducive, and lots of my patients are within walking distance).
Although maybe Arsenal ought to buy its own estate agency as an extra inducement to the wives of players who have the arduous task for seeking new homes before the old one is barely settled into. I’ll pass that one on to the powers that be at Highbury House.
But to business.
The Independent gets rather high and mighty with correcting Mrs V’s grammar publishing this under the belt commentary today…
“Listen LCFC fans don’t come at me with abuse! I have nothing whatsoever to do with calling the shots in my husband’s career! Its (sic) unfair,” she tweeted on Saturday.
Now as you, my educated readership will know, “sic” is not a misprint, but rather a Latin adverb meaning literally “thus” deriving from sic erat scriptum, which in yer local tongue could be translated as “thus was it written”.
Editors full of vague pomposity and disjointed intellect (not you Tony) like to insert “sic” after a word to show that yes, they know it is a mistake, but it wasn’t their mistake, this is how it was writ in the first place. It is supposed to be used to point out archaic spelling, a surprising assertion not based on the earlier logic (as after a comment from an aaa an editor might write “sic sic sic”), faulty reasoning, and so forth.
Of course as the educated readership of Untold will know Mrs W should have written “it’s” not “its” – “it’s being correct because it is short for “it is” while “its” means “relating or pertaining to it”.
But I deviate. Let’s have a headline
Arsenal’s weekly wages
Sat, June 4, 2016
Express Sport brings you Liverpool’s wage bill, based on research conducted by Express Trainers
Yes indeed. The Express telling us about Arsenal’s wages by examining Liverpool. A crafty ploy.
Back with Vardy several newspapers have the news that the Vardarian medical will be today and wasn’t the friday before last as Untold reported last week. So maybe, maybe not, but if so, then Untold will of course claim to have been the first to let anyone know. Apart from that Balkan Blog site with its wonderful advert. You will excuse me if I print it again, I trust…
Oh yes, and the Express is really going overboard today with
Euro 2016 is nearly upon us but who will be the WAGs heading to France to support their men during the tournament
But now let me come to the big news. IF (and it is a big IF which is why I have written it in CAPITALS so please don’t correct this with the word “sic” Mr Ed) IF Mr Vardy signs up, then we will have two centre forwards both aged 29, and we will have to go through this whole thing again in two years time. What’s more the aaa and their chums at Liverpool? and on the BBC will be full off “you can’t win anything with old men”.
However there is other news. French “fans” have been booing our chum Olivier Giroud – even though he scored two goals in defeating Scotland in Metz. Laurent Koscielny got the other. So the Metro has the headline of “Watch: Man Utd legend orders France fans to cheer under fire Arsenal star Giroud”
They also have film of one of Giroud’s goal which is worth watching. Just click here and then scroll down the rather cranky web page.
Gordon Strachan praised the France side, by saying: “If there is a better team than them then we are in for a fantastic Euros.”
And thus, op cit, viz, ibid, we have it. As it were. I am told that the next article will be a very serious one about the effect of social media on the ability to have a proper debate about anything, so I’d better bugger off sharpish.
- Ooooooooooooooooospina: its Copa America Centenario, and he’s done great
- Blimey – the Vardy bid looks like it is true, and there is a release clause, and it wasn’t all made up
- Infantino under suspicion of being Blatter II; Fifa under suspicion of being, well, Fifa.
- Memo to the Metro Newspaper. Just how miserable would you like me to be?
A thought from the management
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