The new signing has signed, several other options, one star leaving, and the replacement for Wenger
By Sir Hardly Anyone
In the new world of Superstition (see the previous article and do try to keep up) once the idea is set then it gets bound into the mind, and no end of logic can ever dislodge it.
So the superstition that buying expensive players before the new season brings success is one that is just believed and believed and believed, even though it has been proven over and over to be false, untrue, a pack of lies, make believe, utter tripe, and puerile nonsense. What is true is that the odd purchase can work, but most don’t.
Here is last summer’s spend related to the league position achieved
|Transfer lge pos
||Actual league pos
||State Aid Utd
||West Bromwich Albion
(For new readers Manchester C are referred to as Manchester Airport on account of the fact that they were given their stadium in return for their sponsor putting on a few new flights in and out of the airport. WHU were given their stadium by the state and thus are known as State Aid Utd).
One might say, indeed one should say, that the spend does have a relationship with the final league position – a negative relationship. The less you spend the higher you get.
The average league position of the top ten spenders was ninth. Two of the top ten spenders got relegated. Neither of the top two clubs in the league by the end of the season were in the top ten spenders’ list. So to see this and go on and spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend you would have to be utterly bonkers.
Indeed as people often say (misquoting Einstein en route) to fail doing something and then do it over and over again, is the sure sign of madness.
And please don’t think I fixed that table by picking out the bits that suit me – the 11th club, in case you wanted to continue down, was Sunderland.
But this is the world of mass superstition, and so it is ok to believe the bonkers. It is ok to believe that spending lots takes you up the league, because we all know if you say something over and over and over and over and over again, IT MUST BE TRUE.
Because we are all crazy now (Slade) and what was untrue last year, and the year before and the year before and the… is going to be true this year, BECAUSE IT MUST BE TRUE.
Because the superstition tells us it is, and it is replicated every day in all the media.
So, let us all carry as on as per last year.
1: Not Mahrez – £42.2million Star Ready To Agree Arsenal Move, The Fans Will Like This.
Do you remember all those headlines from the bloggettas last year that said, “Not Cech” because they wanted to ratchet you into their little sites? Well now the “not Mahrez” player is Lacazette. Lyon have offered Alexandre Lacazette a new contract to ward off Arsenal’s attempts to sign the striker, but the bloggettas tell us that we can have him if only we pay enough.
2: Oguzhan Ozyakup could make Arsenal return
He was part of their FA Youth Cup winning side of 2009 alongside the likes of Jack Wilshere and Francis Coquelin and is now at Besiktas, and won the Turkish league and is going to cost £16.8 million according to Deporte Valenciano.
3: Arsenal are lining up a surprise £15million bid for former Manchester United defender Jonny Evans.
Arsene Wenger has apparently admitted he had lost a ‘heavyweight’ in his dressing room. So it is Evans who joined West Brom last summer after being told he was unwanted at Very Old Trafford. Pulis thinks he is worth £18m. But then Pulis is a [text deleted on the grounds that it was unsanitary].
4: Valencia’s Shkodran Mustafi .
“Wenger is already under pressure from Arsenal supporters to recruit a striker”. Oh really? Well Arsenal are now 11/8 favourites with bookmakers to beat Chelsea (15/8) to the signing of Valencia’s Germany defender Shkodran Mustafi.
The Indy, which still tells us that Heathrow Airport is in Bournemouth and that it is a football story, say Arsenal contacted the Germany international’s agent, Ali Bulut, to discuss a move to the Premier League.
Mustafi has a £42.1m release clause in his Valencia contract, but differing reports suggest the La Liga club will allow him to leave for between £20m and £33m depending on negotiations. or if you prefer another source £25.3m plus a further £8.4m in add-ons.
Inter Milan owner Erick Thohir has slapped (or perhaps delicately placed with much aplomb) a €60 million (£50.7 million) (sorry £54,2n) price-tag on Arsenal target Icardi. (Sorry £59.83m). Best stick to the Euros.
6: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
…has been tipped to join the Pep Guardiola revolution because he is not good enough. Hang on, is that right? He’s rubbish isn’t he (that must be right because the blogs tell me that). [Actually his goal in the friendly the other day was rather fine donchathink?]
7: Mario Mandzukic,
Wolfsburg and West Ham are racing racing and racing in the race to sign Mario Mandzukic, according to Tuttosport. While according to the Metro, Juventus forward Mario Mandzukic has emerged as a target for Arsenal.
8: Bruno Peres
Arsenal are interested in signing Torino full-back Bruno Peres, 26, with the club wanting £16.9 million for the player.
9: Eddie Howe tipped to be ‘Arsene Wenger’s successor’
The Daily Star claim that Eddie Howe is being lined up to be Arsene Wenger’s successor at the Emirates. Since the Star has never been right about anything, this could be the moment when they finally break their duck, and their chicken and their hen. Here’s the tale
Howe’s stock has risen after remarkably keeping Bournemouth in the Premier League while playing a good, quality brand of football.
Furthermore, his willingness to develop young players at the highest is also a trait of Howe’s that is admired by the Arsenal board, as they aim to maintain the legacy that will be left by Wenger when he departs.
10: Ben Yedder
Arsenal have emerged as the clear front-runners to sign French striker Wissam Ben Yedder, according to BetStars. The bookmaker places them at 5/4, ahead of Europa League Champions Sevilla at 5/2 and Premier League rivals West Ham at 9/2. Tottenham have been placed at 8/1, while Leicester are outsiders with odds of 10/1.
But remember: the more we spend the further down the league we will go. Not all superstitions which say the reverse of reality are true. In fact, none are.