By Sir Hardly Anyone
Part 1: The Frightening (Daily Mail)
OK, the Daily Mail with its daily hate campaigning is always frightening, but this is very frightening. They claim that “Bookies slash odds on Chelsea captain John Terry joining Arsenal next season from 33-1 to 5-1.”
A large number of bets were placed in the Reading area on Terry joining Arsenal apparently. Anyway the Mail features comments from someone whom they call “Inventive William Hill spokesman Joe Crilly.”
I’ve never heard of an inventive spokesman before. But then this is gambling so maybe that is different.
Anyway let’s move on
Part 2: The Comings
1: Kylian Mbappe Striker (Metro, Sun, Express, Mail, Mirror)
“French wonderkid” (aren’t they all?) Kylian Mbappe apparently has a release clause in his contract that no one knew about until the Metro, Sun, Express, Mail and Mirror revealed it, and Man U, Real Mad and Arsenal suddenly woke up.
He plays for Monaco, and as the Metro said, “The striker has burst onto the scene this year and has been linked with virtually every elite team in Europe.” That’s because everyone is linked with everyone, and none of it is true.
2: Virgil Van Dijk (Mirror, Bleacher, Metro, Sun, Star, HITC, Express)
“Arsene Wenger is eyeing a move for Southampton’s Virgil Van Dijk to allow him to select a three-man defence regularly.”
3: James Rodriguez (Star, Express, Metro, Mirror, Standard, Don Balon).
And it is Arsenal and Manchester United once again. As his surname will tell you, he’s Spanish. But we are going to be beaten by Juventus or Inter Milan who (for reasons which did not become completely clear to me at the time) “hold a key advantage in the transfer race” according to the Express.
4: Sead Kolasinac (Every newspaper I’ve heard of and some I haven’t)
If you have been paying attention you will know Sead Kolasinac has already signed for us although Lothar Matthaus, has “revealed” that it will be “difficult to keep Sead Kolasinac at Schalke with the likes of Arsenal ready to snap him up.”
On the other hand Sead Kolasinac ‘agrees personal terms with Arsenal ahead of summer transfer’ and already undergone a medical. Apparently Chelsea and Everton are very miffed which is nice.
5: Ivan Perisic (Goal, Metro, Sun, Star, Bleacher, Mirror)
Arsenal and Chelsea join “the race” to sign Ivan Perisic… for £33m or €35-40 million. He’s that most precious object a “want-away attacker” (although some “reporters” call him a playmaker) who wants away from the horrible Inter Milan. Because… well because he does.
Perisic joined Inter from Wolfsburg in 2015. But Inter are “lining-up” Fiorentina’s Federico Bernardeschi and Sassuolo’s Domenico Berardi as potential replacements. The Mirror has said J Mourinho had flown over to Croatia to hold talks with Perisic but we think he was just out berating some medics he saw at the airport.
Perisic is the replacement for Alexis and valued at €35-40 million and is desperate to secure a move to the Premier League.
And he won’t go to a club not in Europe which presumably rules all of England out.
6: Arda Turan (CNN Turk, Goal, GdS, Express, ESPN, Metro.)
He’s a Turkish international and plays for Barcelona. Reports say he would cost around €35-40 million. Really!
Anyway he’s 30, so its not very likely. Some of the bloggettas are saying this deal is done and it is a sign of the failure of the entire Arsenal strategy. His agent has “spoken out”. And Arsenal have been given the green light to sign him. (Honest).
7: Corentin Tolisso (Sky, Metro, Express, Bleacher, Talksprout, Goal)
Jean-Michel Aulas admits Corentin Tolisso could be sold this summer – unless Lyon win the Europa League.
“Tolisso is also a priority for Arsene Wenger, with the midfielder enjoying a stand-out year for the French club – netting 11 times in 38 appearances.”
You know it is made up when the word “netting” is used instead of “scoring”.
And the leaving
1: Wojciech Szczesny (Il Messaggero, Gazzetta dello Sport, ESPN, Sun, Star, Independent, Mail, Express, Metrom Mirror )
He’s going to Napoli having spent two year at Roma.
2: Carl Jenkinson (Going to Newcastle – Mirror, Star, Sun, Tribal. Going to Brighton – Star, Sun, Tribal)
He’s off to Newcastle. Or is that Brighton. So hard to tell them apart these days. I mean they are both on the coast (ish). Either way its a race.
He played for West Ham who returned him damaged and he has found it hard to get going again.
And not leaving
1: Arsenal Wenger (Daily Canon)
“The Arsenal board have decided to allow Wenger to sign the two-year contract extension”
I really am amazed sometimes at how these bloggettas get their information. They couldn’t be making it up could they?