By Sir Hardly Anyone.
The latest invention from the Telegraph’s Charlie Eccleshare is the alliterative phrase “Tedious Trophy Talk”. By this they mean the chatter from certain ne’er do wells that Tottenham cannot be called a team of significance until they win significant stuff, and in the past 20 years they have just won the League Cup twice.
So when it was all about Arsenal it was “Fourth is not a trophy” and then the FA Cup was not a trophy, because we won it more than any other club and Mr Wenger won it more than any other manager, but now it is the Tiny Totts it is “Tedious Trophy Talk”. Well I never did! Is that a hint of bias I see?
Of course we don’t go in for that. We like Tedious Transfer Talk which is equally alliterative and somewhat less tedious because we keep adding new names to the list.
Here is the list of all the players we are buying in the summer.
| No. | Player | From | Source | Information |
| New | Leon Bailey | Bayer Leverkusen | Talk Sprout; Football London | Cost £100m, he’s a winger or a midfielder who gives assists. Chelsea more likely |
| New | Jack Butland | Stoke | The Sun, 101 Great Goals | Liverpool also after this keeper |
| Update | Karim Benzema | Real Mad | EPR Scouts, Football Transfer Tavern, Diario Gol, | Deal agreed £35m. No €60 million, |
| New | Jasper Cillessen | Barcelona | Mundo Deportivo, Daily Cannon | A keeper. |
| 5 | Kerem Demirbay | Hoffenheim | TalkSport. Liga Financial, Star, AFC Fever | Midfielder, AFC price agreed, Liverpool want him. Price agreed |
| NEW | Abdoulaye Doucoure | Watford | Hertfordshire Mercury | Goalkeeper. Watford want to keep him. Tots want him |
| 7 | Fred | Shakhtar | Gibfootballshow | Arsenal to get him for £30m |
| 8 | Goncalo Guedes | PSG | Liga Financial | PSG must sell because of FFP, Arsenal have announced interest |
| 9 | Jorginho | Napoli | Hot Stepanovs | Faster and smaller than Xhaka |
| Update | Thomas Lemar | Monaco | ArsenalNewsHQ; Mirror; TalkSport. Star | Deal confirmed; has rejected a new contract. All go!!! |
| 11 | Lozano | PSV | Sport 360, Arsenal mania | Winger who can cut inside |
| 12 | Malcolm | Bordeaux | FootballBible, Sport Review, Gunnerspheree | Winger; everyone is interested; he says he goes in the summer. But might go to China |
| 13 | Lautaro Martinez | Racing Club de Avellaneda | Gunnersphere | Striker. Inter have offered €20million |
| Update | Max Meyer | Schalke 04. | Football London, The Guardian, Talk Sport, Express | Attacking midfield or playmaker. Liverpool battling with Arsenal |
| NEW | Oguzhan Ozyakup | Besiktas | Arsenal to bring back their ex-player at the end of his contract | |
| 16 | Pablo Moreno | Barcelona | Mundo Deportivo | He’s 15 and his contract runs out at the end of the season |
| 17 | Jan Oblak | Atletico Mad | FootballBible; Gibfootballshow | Goalkeeper also wanted by Chelsea and Liverpool. 100m euros. |
| 18 | Richarlison | Watford | EPL Scouts | Midfield, Chels & Tots also; Arsenal miss out & Arsenal to hijack deal, both on same site!!! |
| 19 | Daniele Rugani | Juventus | Whoscored | Defender. Agent confirms |
| 20 | Wilfried Zaha | Crystal Palace | Liga Financial | Arsenal making a bid of £25m |
| Update | Andrija Zivkovic | Benfica | Football Facts, The Record, EatSleepSports ArsenalStation, Telegraph, Giants, Tribal Football | 21 year old striker. “AFC cannot but have been impressed.” Price is £52m |
The departure list.
Having created the new word “Bellering” meaning “being tipped to be transferred away from the club each transfer window but never actually going, we now have quite a list of leavers.
| No | Player | Going To | Source | What’s the story |
| 1 | Bellering | Barcelona | Star | Star readers have a memory span of less than 1 minute. But we have “Bellering” (c) Untold. |
| NEW | Krystian Bielik | Birmingham | Sky | He wants to reignite his career and is not happy at Walsall where he is on loan. |
| 3 | Holding | Burnley | Mail, Mirror, Sun | £15m |
| 4 | Lacazette | Arsenal Fever, Sun | Manu Petit says he will go. | |
| 5 | Ramsey | Mail, Mirror, Star, Sun | Out of contract; and because of gross financial mismanagement AFC can’t afford him because of Ozil | |
| 6 | Welbeck | Arsenal Mania | Leaving at end of season | |
| 7 | Wilshere | Liverpool | Football London | Wenger says how much he wants Jack to stay, but this doesn’t stop the suggestions that he his going. Arsenal Mania has him closing in on a new deal. |
Part 3 – The New Manager
1: Luis Enrique
Mundo Deportivo report former Barcelona boss Luis Enrique is ready to return to football management this summer, and that the Premier League is his preferred destination. While there is speculation with teams elsewhere in Europe as well (PSG, Milan, for example), Mundo D seem quite certain that the Premier League is what’s on Lucho’s mind.
Chelsea also want him.
2: Conte
The Daily Express says it is Conte, and their source is of the highest repute: Paul Merson. Except to be fair to the pundit, what he actually said was “If I was on the board I’d go straight for Conte. He upsets people.”
3: Sarri
According to our old friend “Reports” it is current Napoli boss Maurizio Sarri who is coming, and is certainly not going to Chelsea. That is according to his agent Federico Pastorello. The Express, Football Italia, Mail, Daily Cannon and all the hangers on are peeking into this one.
“It’s reported that the 59-year-old has a release clause in his contract that would allow him to discuss contractual terms with other clubs.” That is from the most amusing Hot Stepanovs website.
Oh yes and there is wild celebrating in Untold’s HQ with the Guardian adopting one of our words: “Wengerian.” Only taken six years to get it on their approved list.
- Arsenal in Sweden: dealing with injuries in a meaningful and sensible way
- Arsenal U18s February Update – 13 Matches Unbeaten
- Another ‘old codger’s’ sense of perspective
- Football history is (more or less) bunk as long as you ignore the bits you don’t like
Sir Hardly!
On the lighter side…….
Charlie Eccleshare of the Telegraph proclaims trophy talk ‘tedious’ when discussing Tottenham. How wonderful they are! You don’t need trophies – unless, of course, you’re AFC.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/#source=refresh
Despite this, at some as yet undetermined time in the future, certain folk will still come crawling out from under their rock, to tell us how paranoid we are, and that despite articles like that, we do in fact get treated by the media in the exact same way as everyone else.