Arsenal v Uefa: the most ludicrous league table you’ll ever see

 

*** On the Arsenal History Society website we are getting ready to celebrate 100 years since Herbert Chapman arrived at Arsenal and transformed the club from relegation candidates to league winners.  There’s a new episode published today as well as links to the series so far:

100 years since Chapman arrived at Arsenal: Knighton is removed 

———–

By Bullod Drummond

“French referee Benoit Bastien, 41, is a 13-year veteran of European football, but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to the odd clanger.”   So says the Mirror.  It’s funny that they tend not to say such things about PGMO employees.  Could it be that PGMO have issued a diktat – any media that criticises referees should have their press passes removed?

Anyway, there is something very strange about this man’s record in Europe…

For according to the figures from Transfermarkt he has overseen four games this season in Ligue 1 in Fracce and dished out an amazing 24 yellow cards – obviously an average of six a game.   If he carries on like that for tonight’s match, and taking into account the way that referees from different countries interpret the rules in their own ways, we might end up with far fewer than 22 players on the pitch.

The Evening Standard takes a look at the game and of course, focuses on all of Arsenal’s problems and the “slump” that the club is alleged to be suffering from – “slump” seems to be one of the media’s words of the week.   

As for injuries the media like to tell us that Martin Odegaard is still out (which I would have thought was bleedingly obvious) and there are serious doubts about Saka and Timber as they haven’t been seen in training (although they might have been hiding from intrusive journalists of course).  Both men are suffering from playing in internationals as indeed is Odegaard.  When will they ever learn?

If Timber returns to the side he will be “thrown straight back into the team after being out with a muscular problem” – according to the nutters at the Standard, who seem to be unable to recognise the level of medical care and careful preparation in training that is now part of everyday life at a major football club.  Still, I suppose if you work in an organisation that publishes unchecked facts on occasion, maybe the assumption is that everyone else does the same.

They do however get a little more speculative and interesting thereafter saying that “Jorginho could come into the side in place of Thomas Partey and Kai Havertz may slot into there, too.”   They add that “Ethan Nwaneri is an option, but Arteta suggested on Monday he is unlikely to start.”   So they go with

Raya;

White, Saliba, Gabriel, Calafiori;

Havertz, Jorginho, Rice;

Sterling, Jesus, Martinelli

Pain in the Arsenal offer up

David Raya 

Ben White – William Saliba – Gabriel (captain) – Riccardo Calafiori 

Declan Rice- Mikel Merino  –  Ethan Nwaneri 

Raheem Sterling –  Kai Havertz – Gabriel Martinelli 

90 min go with a slight variation

Raya;

White, Saliba, Gabriel, Calafiori;

Rice, Jorginho, Havertz;

Sterling, Jesus, Martinelli.

They also predict a 3-0 victory which would be rather nice.

One of the problems however with this season’s Champions League is that the 36 team league table is so ludicrously complicated it is nigh on impossible to know how many points a club is going to need to get to the the top group.  So we’ve tried to pull together the most simplified version we can without pictures of logos and the like that most people seem to want to include.

P W D L F A GD Pts
Dortmund
2
2
0
0
10
1
9
6
Brest
2
2
0
0
6
1
5
6
Benfica
2
2
0
0
6
1
5
6
Leverkusen
2
2
0
0
5
0
5
6
Liverpool
2
2
0
0
5
1
4
6
Aston Villa
2
2
0
0
4
0
4
6
Juventus
2
2
0
0
6
3
3
6
Man City
2
1
1
0
4
0
4
4
Inter
2
1
1
0
4
0
4
4
Sparta Praha
2
1
1
0
4
1
3
4
Atalanta
2
1
1
0
3
0
3
4
Sporting
2
1
1
0
3
1
2
4
Arsenal
2
1
1
0
2
0
2
4
Monaco
2
1
1
0
4
3
1
4
Bayern
2
1
0
1
9
3
6
3
Barcelona
2
1
0
1
6
2
4
3
Real Madrid
2
1
0
1
3
2
1
3
LOSC
2
1
0
1
1
2
-1
3
PSG
2
1
0
1
1
2
-1
3
Celtic
2
1
0
1
6
8
-2
3
Club Brugge
2
1
0
1
1
3
-2
3
Feyenoord
2
1
0
1
3
6
-3
3
Atlético Madrid
2
1
0
1
2
5
-3
3
PSV
2
0
1
1
2
4
-2
1
VfB Stuttgart
2
0
1
1
2
4
-2
1
Bologna
2
0
1
1
0
2
-2
1
Shakhtar Donetsk
2
0
1
1
0
3
-3
1
Dinamo Zagreb
2
0
1
1
4
11
-7
1
RB Leipzig
2
0
0
2
3
5
-2
0
Girona
2
0
0
2
2
4
-2
0
SK Sturm Graz
2
0
0
2
1
3
-2
0
Milan
2
0
0
2
1
4
-3
0
Crvena zvezda
2
0
0
2
1
6
-5
0
RB Salzburg
2
0
0
2
0
7
-7
0
Slovan Bratislava
2
0
0
2
1
9
-8
0
Young Boys
2
0
0
2
0
8
-8
0

 

Some teams go through, some teams to somewhere else, and some teams don’t.  I hope that summarises the full situation in as clear and concise a way as possible.  All may become clear in due course.  Or not, as the case may be.

11 Replies to “Arsenal v Uefa: the most ludicrous league table you’ll ever see”

  1. i wonder if honest HOWARD { WEBB } would like to tell us who he was texting or talking to while the VAR was going on, and also did JONES and GILLETT know that he WEBB was sitting in the stands

  2. I doubt that Webb will oblige. I don’t doubt that Jones and Gillett were aware of his presence (especially if, as I suspect, they were receiving his instructions -although Gillett would have needed no prompting to call for a red to be issued)

  3. Arsenal XI:

    Raya,
    White, Saliba, Gabriel, Calafiori,
    Partey, Rice, Havertz,
    Martinelli, Jesus, Trossard

    Subs: Neto, Setford, Kiwior, Zinchenko, Monlouis, Robinson, Lewis-Skelly, Jorginho, Merino, Nwaneri, Sterling, Butler-Oyedeji

  4. @ Chris

    I don’t live in London any more and have to deal with all sorts of glory hunters who slag us off at every opportunity. Your link will be very helpful in the pub!! Cheers!

  5. I was so impressed with the neutrality of the commentary tonight.

    I particularly loved Shearer’s comment after 87 minutes, that “it’s a big if” if Arsenal can hold on…..given Shaktar hadn’t actually had a shot on target at that point!

    I mean Alan F’in Shearer…completely failed manager big time telling us all how Arteta was rubbish and Shearer knew exactly what needed to be done to improve things….

    And part of my bloody TV Licence pays his F’in wages!!

    No, it wasn’t our best performance but give me two minutes on match of the day and I’d talk more sense than Shearer….but then I’m neither stupid or self-opinionated.

  6. 1-0 to the decimated Arsenal… what is there to be unhappy about ?
    Job done, next game…

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