Van Persie in goal scoring drought shock: no goals in 2012

By Billy the Dog McGraw

It is 10am on the second day of 2012 and the sheer size of the horror is just bursting upon Arsenal fans – Van Persie has scored no goals this year.  After the triumphs of 2011 when he got over 2,864 goals per game on average, this season is a drought.

Arsenal now looked doomed.

Worse still Vermaelen has done his calf and that means that Arsenal will be forced to send out six month old prodigy Ivan Idea to play in his place.

Or failing that Coquelin or failing that Ignasi Miquel or maybe both.

Actually I think both are very promising players, and Coquelin in particular looks good to me.  I know he is a midfielder, but he can play full back, and you have to feel for him having had to start two games during our black period (v Man U and the Tiny Totts).  He’s played for France at under 17, 18, 19, 20 and 21 level which says something too.  And he done great against the Villa.

I guess after the QPR win I’d want to make changes anyway, and maybe this finally is the moment to let Alex OC have a bash.  But that would mean dropping Theo and the boss doesn’t like to do that, so maybe it is Theo till he gets tired and then the Ox or maybe not, because by and large I don’t have much of a clue as to what is going on.

However I do know that we are playing on the shores of the great southern ocean, that vast expanse that runs to the edge of London.  It is rumoured that on the far side of this great expanse of water is another city, a shadow London if you will, in which there are even some football teams.  In fact it is said that when Millwall suddenly vanished off the face of reality in 1910 they actually ventured south of the shores and ended up in this strange southern to the south of London.  There is also talk of a Charles Town and a Krystal Place – but I think those are just made up.

Indeed there are even some strange fellows who claim that we, the mighty Arsenal, came from the south of the ocean in the land of Plum Stead before emerging triumphant at Highbury in 1913.   Millwall going south, and three years later us heading north; who ever heard of such things.

But what is true is that in the dim and distant Fulham tried to buy Arsenal (in 1910 in fact) to set up Fulham Arsenal playing on the banks of the mighty waterway.  The League agreed, but said we had to play in the second division, so the event never happened.  (Details in the forthcoming “Woolwich Arsenal the club that changed history” later this year).

Anyway, Fulham eventually sold us their boss, Henry Norris, Henry Norris paid off all Arsenal’s debts (the club was in administration at the time) and then personally paid for the building of a complete new stadium, and then bought in Herbert Chapman as manager.  And you know what they did to him – this Henry Norris?  First they made him a Lt Colonel in the army, then they made him a Sir, and then they banned him from football and wrote him in history as a Bad Thing, when in fact in terms of serving his country, in terms of his forward thinking political views, and in terms of what he did for football in exposing corruption he was a Good Thing.  Just goes to show.

But I digress.  Let us return to matters in hand.  Or not, because I wanted to write about the Rooney, who didn’t play against the mighty Blackburn because he had a meal with his missus and some mates on Boxing Day.  That awfully nice Ferguson creature fined him 30 seconds wages which is said to be around £200,000.

Fulham won’t have Bobby Zamora and Andy Johnson who are injured but Damien Duff is back.

As for us….

Wojciech

Francis or maybe Johann, Laurent, Per, Ignasi

Alex

Mikel, Aaron

Gervinho, Robin, Theo or maybe Alex

 

Wouldn’t it be nice to see a few more of the injured players return?

Hey ho, off we go again, another year, time for some fun I think.

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9 Replies to “Van Persie in goal scoring drought shock: no goals in 2012”

  1. where’s Henry in the line up? Is Podolski coming? Which left back is replacing our injured leftbacks

  2. I think Mr Wenger said Henry needed another couple of weeks to get fully fit. And the last I heard he said he wasn’t thinking of signing any full backs in particular as a couple of our injured men are now nearly recovered.

  3. Billy,
    A good light-hearted read.
    It will be excellent if the full-backs were able to return. When is Jenkinson set to return?
    Apparently, Rooney was fined, over-trained and dropped for
    lethargy and lack of focus in training along with his two chums.

  4. Billy, nice of you step up and write a prediction. You had fewer changes than I had.

    In the early games, Barton has managed to get himself sent off before half time, and shortly after QPR gave up a goal. Frimpong seems to be doing okay against Chelsea. Cole had a go at him, and he managed to block a shot on net as well. According to the BBC, 3 wolves have been yellow carded (Frimpong not among them).

  5. May be am thinking too much loud, may be am thinking too much wild but I believe pretty sooner Rooney would be marketed out. Though I do follow up Andersred too and find that Man Utd won’t be missing much through its CL loss I believe there is a deep hole in its pocket and Rooney may be used to shore up some finances.

  6. Naren, Prasanna,
    Another Rooney factor to keep in play in his being “out of focus” is that his father and uncle were just recently in the media for being arrested on gambling charges. And it’s New Year’s, a heightened/emotional time for everyone. How could this not in some way undermine any human being, let alone Rooney? (Not that I can forgive his legacy as Divemaster) but he surely needs time off the rockpile.

  7. Tony,
    As I heard the press conference, Arsene said that he definitely has a need and, under the circumstances, would consider a fullback on loan (not a purchase), but needs to burrow in and analyze the possibilities.

  8. Drat, Chelsea won. Sounds like Lampard should have been dismissed earlier in the game, and he got the win (in extra time I believe). Frimpong lasted 60 minutes for Wolves.

    Wenger has announced a strong squad again (Szczesny, Djourou, Koscielny, Mertesacker, Coquelin, Song, Ramsey, Arteta, Walcott, RVP, Gervinho, subs: Almunia, Squillaci, Miquel, Rosicky, Arshavin, Benayoun and Chamakh). Interesting to see Squillaci back, I wonder where he has been?

    My guess on a fullback, would be from some league that is not playing at the moment. Brazil?

  9. Happy new year all!
    Great article. worrying thing is that it’s 7.28 pm and still Robin has not sccored this year (but I just saw him walk on pitch so the best EPL player in fall (according Finnish news papers sport writers, well I would refured to sell them coffee if they had chosen someone else) will soon end his drought.

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