Arsenal look certain to sign one player before end of the month.

by Sir Hardly Anyone

It has taken a little bit longer than we expected, probably because everyone was still drinking in the Toppled Bollard but we now have the first reports of Martinelli leaving.  These will reoccur with extra force in every single transfer window from now on, with occasional comments on the fact that he has gone back to Brazil or is so fed up at Arsenal that he is refusing to play, until eventually he leaves just to shut the journalists up.

And how do I know?  Because that’s how it always goes.  A new wonderful player is discovered and celebrated by the media, and then he is destroyed by the media.  It’s what they do.

Meanwhile the nonsense continues.  We have 36 players nominated to be coming to Arsenal and normally 3% of these stories are true so it looks like we have one incoming player.

Of course it may not be one of these 36, but these are the names we have seen mentioned by the bunch of jokers who like to call themselves professional journalists (and please do try to stop laughing).

Here is the list.  In what follows, as ever, FoLo = Football London.

And just as we closed the list ready for publication we had ”

“Arsenal are close to sealing the signing of former Manchester City defender Pablo Mari from Flamengo to bolster Mikel Arteta’s defensive options,” from the Star.  He’ll be added to the table next time.

No	Player	Currently At	Position	Source / Notes
???	???	???	Centre back	HITC devote whole article to saying we are getting someone but we don’t know who.  https://tinyurl.com/quxj5ak  Red London now copying this approach.
1	Nathan Ake	Bournemouth	Centre back	FoLo.  Chelsea want him
2	Max Aarons	Norwich	Full back	£30m; Mail
Update	Jude Bellingham	Birmingham	Striker	Football London and Express; Liverpool also want him.  Birmingham Live say AFC now making their move.
Update	Jerome Boateng	Bayern Munich	Centre back	Gunnersphere, Football Fancast. Sempremilan says no deal.  TBR says it will be a loan.  Bavarian Football Works.
Update	Hakan Calhanoglu	Milan	Attacking midfield	Football fan cast say the “fans” have already turned against him. Express says Arsenal’s budget won’t stretch to it. It’s €20million
6	Edinson Cavani	PSG	Striker	Edinson Cavani has handed in a transfer request, TBR Football
NEW	Philippe Coutinho	Bayern Munich	Attacking midfield	On loan from Barcelona. Arsenal is a possible destination, his agent is an Arsenal fan and is a friend of Edu, according to the Star
8	Yan Couto	Coritiba	Defender	A teenager, no less!
9	Djene Dakonam	Getafe	Defender	Centre back can play right back.  Talk Sport have this as a major possibility now!
10	Merih Demiral	Juventus	Defender £50m.	Fotomc / Sport Witness
NEW	Sergino Dest	Ajax	Full back	Just Football.  Can play left or right.  He’s 19.
12	Firmino	Liverpool	Attacking midfield	TalkSport. Even they say this is “Speculation”
Update	John Fleck	Sheffield Utd	Midfield	Football Insider, Burnley Express, Coventry Life.  Left Coventry on a free 2 years ago.  Shields Gazette say AFC bid £20m
14	Omari Forson	Man U	Attacking midield	He’s 15; HITC
15	Bruno Guimarães	Athletico Paranaense	Midfield	Benfica and Borussia Dortmund both want him – The Star
.16	Christian Kabasele	Watford	Defender	NBC Reports.
17	Thilo Kehrer	PSG		Part swap for Lacazette; Bleacher.
NEW	Franck Kessie	Milan	Central Midfield	Mirror, Caughtoffside, Sun, Metro.  Sportsmole have Arsenal as favourites to sign him.
Update	Layvin Kurzawa	PSG	Left back	The Sun “according to reports” in France Football, say he’s signed a five year deal from next season.  PSG says no (Caught Offside).  Or yes, contract agreed (Caught Offside).  Free transfer in June (Mail). Or £4.2m now (FoLo).
Update	Thomas Lemar	Atletico Madrid	Left Wing	Read Arsenal. Team Talk says as part of Lacazette deal.  FoLo says its a loan deal. No Fo Lo says £33m transfer close! Star says Arsenal are at the front of the queue.  HITC says some fans don’t want him at Arsenal. FoLo says “All roads lead to Arsenal”. Sport Witness says “close to signing”
21	James Maddison	Leicester	Playmaker	Football Insider
NEW	Mykola Matviyenko	Shakhtar Donestk	Central defender or left back depending on source.	4th official, Metro.  He’s a Ukraine international, talks have begun.  Loan then purchase for £22m   (Daily Canon.) No, cash offer made!  (HITC).  Metro, Arseblog.  Sky Sports confirm and say cost is £30m.  Metro say Arteta was recommending player when he was at Man C.  “All roads lead to Arsenal” FoLo
23	Dries Mertens	Napoli	Striker or winger	Metro, FoLo.  WHU want him also.
24	Thomas Meunier	PSG	Right back	World Soccer Talk.
25	Thomas Partey	Atletico Madrid	Defensive midfield	Express
26	Leandro Paredes	PSG	Central midfield	Part Swap for Lacazette; Bleacher
27	Adrien Rabiot	Juventus	Midfield	Star.  £25m
28	Boubakary Soumare.	Lille	Midfield	Read Arsenal
29	John Stones	Man C	Central defence	Sun, HITC
30	Dominik Szoboszlai	Red Bull Salzburg	No 10	FoLo
31	Samuel Umtiti	Barcelona	Centre back	Sport Witness
32	Cengiz Under	Roma	Winger	The Boot Room.  £34m
33	Dayot Upamecano	Leipzig	Central defence	Express.  France u-21
NEW	Jannik Vestergaard	Southampton	Defender	TBR say Leicester are going for him but Arsenal could be interested.
35	Kevin Volland	Bayer Leverkusen.	Forward	World Soccer Talk
36	Wilfried Zaha	Crystal Palace	Forward	Football.London, who seem to be re-running the summer transfers to save them making up anything new.

Now the great news is that normally 3% of transfer rumours are correct and we have 36 rumours – which means Arsenal are going to sign one of these guys.

Five of those names are new in the last couple of days, so there is still a chance we might make 50 by the moment the window creaks on his hinges and ends up shut.

We’ll let you know.