By Sir Hardly Anyone
A quick peek in through the shuttered windows of the Toppled Bollard (favourite drinking house of football journalists across London) reveals the awful truth. It’s shut.
Which is why the rumour mill has gone into hyperplus overdrive as those who make up the summer transfer tales eschew their normal drinking hole and instead are drinking at home – much to the distress of numerous good lady wives.
Of course they still venture out, looking through each other’s rubbish bins in the desperate hope of finding something, anything, that someone has made up and is about to publish which they can nick.
Unfortunately, a bunch of pesky school children, wise to the ways of their elders, have been feverishly printing out fake stories and dropping them in litter bins on street corners, with the intent that as inebriated sons of the rumour mills stagger home and peer among piles of rubbish in the hope of a half-full bottle of gin having been left behind by a previous passer-by, they also find a story, suspect it has been mistakenly dropped by one of their compatriots, and publish it.
So yes, even in these days of lockdown we have six new tales and six updates. So, rather amazingly for a period of total shutdown, here we are, back again with another 12 transfers that Arsenal are due to make.
Over the years we have been tracking transfer stories, the average accuracy rate is just under 3%, which means of the 49 players listed below approximately one and a half of them will sign.
Still, with no one knowing when football will start again, how much money the clubs will have, which clubs will actually survive, and which players will avoid being too ill to take the medical, 49 thus far is not bad.
The window creaks open on June 10, which means something in the order of 53 days are left before it begins. So there again 49 is not too bad this early in the campaign. It’s a bit of a shame only one and a half of them are true.
No | Player | From | Details | Source |
1 | Miguel Almiron | Newcastle | Their top scorer | Media Referee |
2 | Houssem Aouar | Lyon | Midfielder. Man C want him as do Liverpool! | The Sun tells us he is 25 and the price is £65m |
3 | Leon Bailey | Bayer Leverkusen | Chelsea also want him. £85m fee. | Just Arsenal |
4 | Jérôme Boateng | Bayern Munich | 31 years old, £13m, defender | Daily Mail |
NEW | Mady Camara | Olympiacos | Defensive midfield | HITC |
6 | Dani Ceballos | Real Mad | Currently on loan | Express, SDNA |
Update | Barcelona | Attacking midfielder on loan at Bayern. Being talked up as a near certainty | Talksport, Express | |
8 | Marc Cucurella | Barcelona | Left back or wide midfield | FoLo £20.9m |
9 | Jonathan David | Gent | Second striker | Football.London |
10 | Ousmane Dembélé | Barcelona | Forward | AS, Sun |
NEW | Axel Disasi | Reims | Arsenal and Monaco both enquiring about defender | TBR, L’Equippe, Sun. |
12 | Issa Diop | WHU | Centre back for £60m | Mirror, Metro, Read Arsenal, HITC, West Sussex Today, Sun |
NEW | Julian Draxler | PSG | To replace Ozil. Tottenham also interested | Teamtalk |
14 | Odsonne Edouard | Celtic | £50m; goalscoring forward (“Scored more than Messi”) | |
15 | Nebil Fekir | Real Betis | ||
16 | Ryan Fraser | Bournemouth | ||
17 | Bruno Fuchs | Internacional | ||
18 | Antoine Griezmann | Barcelona | £90m for the forward. PSG Man Utd, Chelsea, also interested | |
19 | Diogo Jota | Wolverhampton | He’s a 23 year old forward | Sport Review, 4th official, Mail, FoLo, Whoscored |
20 | Gabriel |
Lille | Defender £40m | Everton also want him (Mirror) |
21 | Serge Gnabry | Bayern Munich | Winger | Reports everywhere say he was seen in an Arsenal shirt |
22 | Pape Gueye, | Le Harvre | Defensive midfield | Liverpool also interested. Folo, World of Football. |
NEW | Jovic | Real Madrid | 30 year old striker; deal agreed | Daily Express / Starspost / Sport |
24 | Calum Kavanagh | Middlesbrough | 16 year old ; forward | Lancs Post, The 72, Northern Echo |
25 | Jonjoe Kenny | Schalke 04 on loan from Everton | Right back | Tottenham want him |
26 | Orkun Kokcu | Feyenoord | 19 year old midfielder | Express, FoLo |
Update | Layvin Kurzawa | PSG (out of contract) | 27 years old Polish left back “has agreed a 5 year deal” Standard. | Express says he wants to go to Barcelona. Sport, HITC, Sport Witness, Daily Star say Arsenal |
28 | Jesse Lingard | Man U | £19.8m right winger | Caught offside say Celtic and Chelsea want him |
29 | Isaac Lihadji | Marseille | 17 year old. Man U and Dortmund want him | The Boot Room, Foot Mercato and the Sun all have this |
30 | Matty Longstaff | Newcastle | Central midfielder who will leave on a free | The |
31 | Dejan Lovren | Liverpool | Defender. Tottenham interested | Express, HITC, FoLo |
32 | Evan N’Dicka | Eintracht Frankfurt | €24m-rated France U21 international, He is left-footed, and 20-year-old | |
33 | Ruben Neves | Wolverhampton | Midfield | Sports Mole |
34 | Unai Nunez | Athletic Bilbao | Centre Back, 23, £18m | Daily Mail says WHU want him |
Update | Victor Osimhen | Lille | Nigerian Forward. £87m | Le Quotidien du Foot, Bootroom. Replacement for Aubameyang |
Update | Thomas Partey | Atletico Madrid | Midfielder | Metro, Goal. Squawka quote €50m. HITC also. He’ll move At Mad dont get Champs Lge |
NEW |
Adrien Rabiot | Juventus | Midfield | Just Arsenal, Standard. Torreira to be sold. |
38 | Marc Roca | Espanyol | To replace Ceballos | Sport, 4th official. |
39 | Declan Rice | West Ham | Holding midfielder in the style of Gilberto | Express (according to Arsenal “legend” P Merson) |
Update | Chris Smalling | Roma on loan from Man U; Roma pulled out of deal for him | Centre back. Tottenham, Liverpool on alert (Express) | Just Arsenal News; Arsenal launch £25m bid; Mirror. HITC, Express, Standard |
Update | Carlos Soler | Valencia | Central or right midfield | Sky Sports, Standard, FoLo, Agent says he’s happy to stay where he is Daily Star. |
42 | Malick Thiaw | Schalke 04. | 18 year old central defender | Sport Review; Daily Mail Liverpool and Man C also interested. |
NEW | Corentin Tolisso | Bayern Munich, central midfield | Man U want him. Juventus, Atletico Madrid and Napoli monitoring him | Express, FootMercato |
44 | Pau Torres | Vailla Real | 23 years old, Centra back Santi Caz is talking him up. | Sun £43m. Santi Caz is talking him up. |
45 | Samuel Umtiti | Barcelona | Centre back | Express says he’s available at a discount as he’s always injured |
46 | Dayot Upamecano | RB Leipzig | Central defender. Was all the rage as a transfer a year ago | Football.London |
47 | Willian | Chelsea, winger, attacking midfield | Talks have broken down with Chelsea | Metro, Fo.Lo, Sun |
48 | Chris Wood | Burnley | Replacement for Aubameyang | |
49 | Freddie Woodman | Newcastle on loan at Swansea | Goalkeeper, 23 years | Chronicle Live, TBR, HITC |
We’ll have some more when the journalists wake from their slumbers and find it within themselves to make up additional wild and whacky tales.
Actually there’s more than that .as an example soyuncu of Leicester & Tarkowski of Burnley plus a dozen more.Mental.i guess if you throw enough of mud at the wall some of it will stick eventually.
The Mail on Sunday is running a story today which hints at the financial chaos caused by the coronavirus crisis. Are the media waking up? I doubt it.