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Snooping Around Fallen Angles & Obsolete Demons
By Sammy The Snake
Enter the land of doom and gloom. Step in to a world of great expectations. Open your eyes to living in the past. Touch the faded grass, and smell the corpses on the ground. Welcome to the universe of Liverpool, where angles have fallen and obsolete demons have returned to rule.
What do you do when things go from bad to worse, and then take a turn for the worst? And then you bring in new owners, who can’t do anything but watch as the fortunes of a proud club are battered every weekend, and sometimes during the week too! You bring back the Lion King, hoping that his charisma (since he may have nothing else to offer) will save the club. Perhaps they’re just hoping that memories of “good old days” will turn things around. As if it’s just that easy…
King Kenny has returned to Liverpool, and he got a good spanking for his first game. Although the FA Cup defeat to ManIOU was a bit unfair, you couldn’t in reality see Liverpool scoring a goal even if there were 22 replays of the game. So I can’t see why the KOP are complaining, or are they? Let’s cruise the blogosphere and find out!
We start with Anfield Red, whose latest article is pre-ManU game (talk about living in the past!). In this blog, we learn that “Roy inherited a poor squad”, “Roy Sacked”, followed by some unhealthy drooling over the appointment of King Kenny to the manager’s position. It seems they are still in shock over the fact that their king has failed to live up to expectation and hence can’t write any words.
There’s so much crap in Liverpool.theoffside.com that I just won’t get in to it. One article is titled “The Rise and Fall of Martin Kelly”… When did he rise?! Wishful thinking get’s you nowhere.
The “multi-award winning” Kop Blog (Note to Tony: Where are the Untold awards?) has a fresh look to it, which sets it apart from all the blogs I’ve visited during my reign at Snooping department at Untold headquarters. This place is unbelievably alive, articles have generated between 400 to 600 comments! That beats anything I’ve ever seen. Despite the rumors, KOP are alive! Surprisingly, their latest article is dated 31st of December, just about two weeks old. Have KOP bloggers lost their ability to say stuff? What can you say when things are so bad?!
The discussions are quite realistic, like saying Liverpool is “Dead Man Walking”, putting most of the blame on the previous owners (Gillette and the other guy). They call for Roy to get the sack, and since there are no fresh articles, we can only assume that the appointment of the King has not been too exciting for them. Their best wish for the season is “Wake Me Up in May”!
Well Red is another outdated blog with reasonable readership, their latest was published on 29th of December. This guy is as positive as Fidel Castro on his sick bed! And he’s positively anti-Roy. Reading things like “Hudgson’s crime sheet” can only make the blog seem sensationalist. I read “Liverpool and NESV do not have to accept mediocrity”, and I think “Really!?!”. What have you been doing so far?
I’m sickened to see Liverpool FC Forever was last updated on 13th of December. Their headline “Game over for Hudgson – Resign or get sacked” says it all. The blog is filled with pictures of their players, hanging their heads low and you feel sorry for them.
Have You Been To Liverpool is a bit more positive by saying “HRH deposed – Long live the King!” and “Kenny thrown to the deep end but reasons to be buoyant?” (Question mark supplied by them!). Articles here have less than 5 comments, so I think it’s best not to take their word too seriously.
Kop Source can only be described as “cool”, with professional graphics for the blog, flash pictures and all the works. They see “A reason to be positive” in Dalglish appointment, and argue in another article that “Dalglish’s Liverpool return may last longer than you think…”. This is a nice blog with all the news and stuff, except that you won’t find any meaningful discussions.
Do KOP have a blog to massage their brains the way Untold does for Gunners? No way near anything like that!
It look s a lot like KOP are deep in fear, and even the return of King has not lifted the gloom. Their bloggers are holding much comment following the encouraging return of their savior (Oh, please!) and the discouraging loss to their arch enemy (what else is new?). With things as bad as they are, what can you say? You’ve driven Gillette & Co. out, and kicked Roy Boy off. Who do you criticize now? How can you b!tch? Best for KOP to stay silent for now…
How far can romance and sentimentality take Liverpool? Well, my guess is that we’ll learn sooner rather than later!
On a note closer to home, I’ve been please and amazed at an article in our very own Le Grove which praises Wenger like they’ve never done before:
“In other news, Arsene Wenger won manager of the decade. A superb achievement. As much as we give him a hard time over here, we certainly appreciate the consistency he’s bought to the club and our superb brand of football. My argument would be that Wenger shouldn’t just have won it, he should have smashed it. His decision making has been off kilter in the past few years. Hopefully we’ll see a return to the early noughties form for the next half of this decade.”
While un-quoting, and wondering why Le Grove is so nice & cute for once, I encourage Tony to cover the story in detail. Congratulations, Mr. Wenger!
Let’s kick some Ipswich butt: Upwards and onwards towards the League Cup final!
Sammy The Snake
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