The Tiny Totts: what do these footballers all have in common?

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Editor’s note: this article appeared previously on Gooner Talk.  When Untold published the piece we were unaware of this fact, and we do apologise to Gooner Talk for running their article without permission.   Untold is very much against plagiarism in all its forms, and we do ask authors writing for Untold for the first time to confirm that the article has not been offered or published elsewhere.  I am sorry that we didn’t carry out proper checks in this particular case.   Tony Attwood

What does these footballers all have in common by Brian Dawes

Question: What do these footballers all have in common?

Clive Allen, Paul Allen, Rory Allen, Darren Anderton, Steve Archibald, Osvaldo Ardiles, Chris Armstrong, Gerry Armstrong, Dean Austin, Gareth Bale, Nick Barmby, Phil Beal, Darren Bent, David Bentley, Dimitar Berbatov, Gudni Bergsson, Kevin Prince Boateng, Andy Booth, Alan Brazil, Laurie Brown,

Michael Brown, Keith Burkinshaw, Lee Butcher, Colin Calderwood, Titi Camara, Sol Campbell,

Stephen Carr, Michael Carrick, Darren Caskey, John Chiedozie, Pascal Chimbonda, Martin Chivers,

Ray Clemence, Ralph Coates, Alfie Conn, Ian Crook, Garth Crooks, Peter Crouch, Jason Cundy

Barry Daines, Calum Davenport, Edgar Davids, Simon Davies, Sean Davis, Michael Dawson, Jermain Defoe, Kerry Dixon, Gary Doherty, Jason Dozzell, Ilie Dumitrescu, John Duncan, Gordon Durie,

Justin Edinburgh, Mike England, Matthew Etherington, Mark Falco, Terry Fenwick, Les Ferdinand

Quinton Fortune, Ruel Fox, Gerry Francis, Steffen Freund, Lee Gardner, Paul Gascoigne, Hossam Ghaly, Terry Gibson, Alan Gilzean, David Ginola, Heurelho Gomes, John Gorman, Richard Gough

George Graham, Jimmy Greaves, Christian Gross, Micky Hazard, Glenn Hoddle, Steve Hodge, Pat Holland, David Howells, Tom Huddlestone, Chris Hughton, Alan Hutton, Jermaine Jennas, Pat Jennings, Ronnie Johnsen, Martin Jol, Younes Kabul, Frederic Kanoute, Robbie Keane, Kasey Keller

Ledley King, Joe Kinnear, Jurgen Klinsmann, Cyril Knowles, Paul Konchesky, Colin Lee, Aaron Lennon

Gary Lineker, Gary Mabbutt, Chris McGrath, Pedro Mendes, Mido, Paul Mille, Bobby Mimms, Luka Modric, John Moncur, Roger Morgan, Alan Mullery, Danny Murphy, Nayim, Terry Naylor, Jimmy Neighbour, Tony Parks, Roman Pavlyuchenco, Steve Perryman, Martin Peters, David Pleat, Gica Popescu, Helder Postiga, Gus Poyet, John Pratt, Grzegorz Rasiak, Sergei Rebrov, Jamie Redknapp

Graham Roberts, Jimmy Robertson, Ricardo Rocha, Ronny Rosenthal, Wayne Routledge, Neil Ruddock

Vinny Samways, John Scales, Steve Sedgley, Teddy Sheringham, Tim Sherwood, Peter Shreeve, Andy Sinton, Graeme Souness, Gary Stevens, Paul Stewart , Neil Sullivan, Teemu Tainio, Mauricio Taricco

Peter Taylor, Ben Thatcher, Pat van den Hauwe, Ramon Vega, Terry Venables, Ricardo Villa, Chris Waddle, Steve Walford, Des Walker, Ian Walker, Paul Walsh, Keith Weller, Terry Yorath, Luke Young

Willie Young, Bobby Zamora & Reto Ziegler.

Answer: These are just a few of the names who have aided and abetted Tottenham’s league failures over the past 50 years. I’m not saying that all of the above don’t have a League Winners medal – some indeed do. But none of them with Tottenham.

April 1961 – April 2011

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17 Replies to “The Tiny Totts: what do these footballers all have in common?”

  1. 50 years of no league titles. And yet no one in the media mentions it. But you cant see an Arsenal game on TV at the Emirates without the cameras going over the titles we have won (more recently than Tottenham) and telling us we won nothing for X years.

    I think the away fans should sing this on Wednesday:

    Happy birthday to you
    happy birthday to you
    happy birthday dear title
    50 years since you won

    I bet around 95% of the Tottenham supporters out there will never know what it means to win or to have won the league. Not even knowing to go close…

    Thank god, I’m a Gooner 😉

  2. Thank you Walter. Surely needed that after last Sunday.
    Wish everyone would just leave us alone and just let us be…

    Once a Gooner always a Gooner.

    In Arsene We Trust…

  3. But having read English tabloids, I was under the impression they had toppled us in North London! Then there was that fine performance against Real, in complete contrast to the humiliation we suffered at the hands of another Spanish team, who are inferior to Real in all ways.
    Arry…the greatest manager that ever lived, Bale – the greatest since George Best and WDV, the bargain of the millennium.
    Our humble team might as well not even bother turning up.

  4. Totally agree Mandy. Arsenal are utterly useless. We got beaten by the best team in the world because we are rubbish! it wasn’t because we were robbed it’s because we simply aren’t good enough and our manager is terrible. We will never beat a team like Barcelona and we never have (at least no newspaper would ever mention so). Our young team lack leadership, they’re far too young unlike the Chelsea team who have leaders all over the pitch and are sensational compared to us. I am a real Arsenal fan and I know all this to be true because the newspaper told me so!
    Indoctrination aside though we’re gunna humiliate Spurs on their home turf. I look forward to hearing all about how, well… how unfortunate Spurs were, how they always looked the stronger side and created many more clear cut chances. How outstanding Bale is, how we should offer 10 million plus Van Persie in exchange for Van der Vaart and how if only Arsenal had a consistent keeper like Gomes we would be top of the league and how Wenger pales into insignificance next to ‘arry. There will be bewilderment as to how Arsenal scraped a 5-0 victory.

  5. There was a huge banner at the Emirates on Sunday which said “1961-2011 Happy golden jubilee”. I hope those fans take it to the Lane tomorrow.

  6. I was just wondering why the journalists never asked what Manchester United were doing while Liverpool raked up 18 titles and Arsenal 11 to their 7? I would not want to believe that they are dumb as not to realise that Manchester United were s**t before the epl era. Very soon their era will pass away and they will be back to where they belong. There can be no one team winning all the time though, but with Arsenal, the success of the team has been laid upon an enduring legacy of self sustenance. Students of history would look back over this period and be able to appreciate what Wenger has done for this great club.

  7. Yommex,
    in 100 years time a new Tony Attwood will rise with a blog on what is then a computer. He will write a book about the way things went in the years after the move to the Emirates. And then he will write about this period of no trophys as the most important years in the history from Arsenal: the building years. Building a stadium, building a team…. building a new horizon. Building a team that will conquer the world.

    Reward will come! And the harder the way to succes the sweeter succes will be for all of us to enjoy.

    I just wondered if he (the future Tony Attwood) will be wearing a hat….?

  8. @Walter

    I see you cleverly didn’t mention the new you 🙂 Every Sherlock needs his Watson you know..

  9. I don’t know Walter. Put another way you could say that the media has always held us to a different standard to the likes of the Spuds. I have often wondered why Gooners get to angry when people remind us that its x years since we last won a trophy. I have often felt that by inference they were really saying ” we expect that a club of Arsenal’s stature can’t be held at the same level as the Spuds!” AND don’t you think that the supporters of that club feel a tinge when they read and hear those sentiments and secretly say to themselves: “yes but 6 years vs 50…I wish…”?

  10. Shard,
    there will be no more need for a ref reviewer anymore at Untold in those days. We will have 9 refs in and around the field, a video ref in the stand to make sure decisions on the field will be given correct….

    The new Watson will have to fill his days in trying to write an article in support of the team. Because after winning some 40 titles, 50 cups, 20 CL in the next 100 years we still will have some doomsayers around telling us that whenever we cant win a game the manager has lost it, should be sacked. 😉

  11. @Yommex ,actually the journos did keep harping on this during the 70s ,80s and early 90s(until the won the EPL),and every manager after Sir Matt Busby(who won it in 1967), were grilled about it .Let me see -thats Malcom Musgrove ,Tommy Docherty ,Dave Saxton ,Ron Atkinson and of course Alex Fergerson when it was “the old 1st Division “.
    They also harped on about how no player had scored 30 goals in a season for ManUre since George Best in 1968(I think),until Brian “Chocky” Mclair did it sometime in the 80s.
    What saved them from being badly savaged,was their cup successes- including that FA Cup win over Crystal Palace ,when a Lee Martin goal in the replay, saved SAF.

  12. Thank you for pointing this out. I was supplied the copy by the author and posted it on the assumption that it was just for us – not knowing that it had gone elsewhere. I must admit it is not my habit to overtly say to every writer, have you sent this elsewhere? I thought it a fairly obvious point, but I guess I ought to do it. so I do take responsibility and will of course write to Goonertalk and apologise completely.

    Tony

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