Love and Football
“Does my bum look big in this one?”
“Oh no, honey, you look gorgeous!”
“Why on earth did they bring in this one?
Were he good, they wouldn’t have sold! Obnoxious!”
The man who lies to the wife at every turn,
With his Club seems to be only most righteous.
Football teams too need to be reassured of their beauty,
Next time you visit the stadium, do that duty.
“Darling, I’m chuffed to bits that I’m pregnant!”
“But sweetie, we are both on unemployment benefits!”
“This Club is rotting and stagnant,
Bring in some fresh blood, despite the deficits.”
The man who with personal finance is unrepentant,
Seems grossly irresponsible with another’s receipts.
Consider in general the world’s monetary grievances,
Next time you advise the Club on its finances.
“You rogue, how dare you cheat on me?”
(The man is temporarily rendered mute.)
“Before renewing your contract, phone me.
My client is on incredible terms, you can follow suit.”
The man who will down the street con me
And blame me for taking the wrong route,
Introspect and reflect, first and foremost, at you,
Next time you lament the lack of virtue.
“…till death do us apart.” “I do.”
Only to queue up at the Civil Court a year later.
“This Club is such a sick disgrace now,
Perhaps it’s time to be that Club’s supporter.”
The man loathe to his insecurity show,
Seeks strength in a victor’s perceived power.
Love and support, these days, seem like being tanned,
Vanishing the next time glory’s glow be absent.
“I love you and want to be with you all my life.”
‘Oh no, not again; she is such a fool.’
To support the same Club and love the same wife,
To this generation, in its jargon, seems rather uncool.
The unwavering men with Clubs in perennial strife,
Oh, don’t be fooled by them or the neutral-
Lasting marriages almost always involve secret dalliances,
Next time enquire them about their secret Top Four alliances.
“If only I could know what is love!”
You can never know love, only regret later.
Mercenaries nor fickle fans ever to top a Club drove.
Love is in spite of everything, always being there;
A journey through Hell to the Heavens above,
With the destination always seeming still further.
So, I hope to meet my lady still sooner,
Next time, just as I hope to be born a Gooner.
- Congratulations Arsene: welcome to the hall of fame
- How will the final league table look? Our laptop computer reports
- If Arsenal go on like this, what will the final table look like?
- Only a handful of teams can win the league: but nothing has changed.
- The set of predictions that tell us exactly how the final table will look
24 Replies to “Love and Football”
Naren..Though you can’t see it, I am giving you a standing ovation.. Very well written. Better than the first one and that’s saying something.
I love the 1st one much more……this article seems to be written in a hurry and hence lacks finesse…..
Too good Naren.. sorry did not complement you on first..
you can ignore some comments if you want..
Naren… Thank you!
Narem,I agree with dark Prince on this one,keep up the good work though
Nice ,Naren – well done ! Nary a true word spoken(penned) in jest !
My motto has always been ,”Love is not love, that alters when it alteration finds.”-William Shakespear .
Arsenal forever !
two thumbs up.thnx
I have once put myself in front of my computer wanting to write how comparable love for a woman/man and a football club.
And even though it is so much the same in many ways I never could make it good enough for my liking. So I know how difficult it is to put such a thing in words.
Very well done, Narren.
Are you some kind of song writer ? Or a poet?
Anyway… untold goes very much untold once again…
I hope I’ve made it clear that I’ve always liked you… 🙂
I didn’t know this was being published so soon…sorry I couldn’t get back to you guys earlier.
You are making me uncomfortable.
Hota rahta hai!
Problems with my internet connection…
It is unfair to compare the two pieces. Every reader has his own prejudices and perceptions; so the judgement depends on the reader rather than the poem itself. Somebody might like it more than the last one just as you do not. I will leave it to you to have favourites…it is all the same for me. Cheers.
I would like to hear what you think…Thanks.
How I wish it were true.
“Whereas, if one sole lady pleased us for ever,
How pleasant for the heart, as well as the liver!”
Perhaps one Club too!
You should have persisted with it. Am I a songwriter? No. These days when every Tom, Dick and Harry calls himself a poet-perhaps. There is still a long way to go.
‘are you some kind of song writer?’ You make it sound as if it involves black magic! 🙂
Hope it is the same with the poems!
William Shakespeare, move over 🙂 Come to think of it, I could see the current situation at Arsenal as the subject of a Shakespeare play…The drama has certainly reached high enough levels. And I think it would be a comedy, rather than a tragedy.
you must be really disliking Shakespeare!
Actually, my plan from the beginning was to write a drama but as I do not have enough expertise in the form and no experience at all, I had to resort to poems, though I have tried to create the dramatic effects…
I think you pulled it off. I enjoyed it 🙂
Anne & Naren , a Shakespearen play having both drama and comedy
may be a good idea . I throwing my hat in to the ring thus- in a fit of delirium, brought on about by the sudden rush of shit to the brain ( aka Philirasis; probably contracted in his travel
to the east ), Lord Wenger lures the fallen arch villian , Joey “De Jailbird” Barton , from the barbaric clan of Geordie from New Castle .
And to their horror, the deranged Lord Wenger pits him against them in the annual bloodbath joust at St. James Park ,and the “black & whites “are rendered black & blue & bloody .And this despite the intervention of the Jester Dowd (for some strange reason is also known as “The Ref”)who was not informed of the change of allegiance and allowed Barton to maim and injure all and sundry at will as was the norm in previous meets
with the Gunners of London North .
Not satisified with just taking his revenge on his former clanmates ,Barton turns on, and eviscerates Alain Du Pardeau of Eastham , their trainer and his former handler .
The closing act shows Barton chasing Mike ” Many Beer Bellies ” Ashley around the slain bodies,(to that catchy tune of the closing credits of The Benny Hill Show )with a corner flag on one hand and a jar of lard on the other .KY jelly was not invented then !
What I need now Naren ,is for you to come up with a few poems and some Bollywood numbers to give it some class !
Sorry to go off topic Tony ,but sometimes my mind wanders and the space gets occupied by an evil alter ego who is loony to say the least !
The ‘many beer bellies’ nickname was hilarious! Talking about class, what has Bollywood got anything to do with it? 🙂
The colour and glam of Bollywood would offset the dark humour and macabre and bloody setting .Its sort of fusion -East meets West .Just imagine Joey Barton suddenly bursting into song at a most inappropriate moment – singing in the rain and running around trees in the middle of the pitch .
I think it could just work !
Ha! Good one! But that is stereotype Bollywood…even Indians do not accept that anymore.
Amazing… hats off!!!
Thanks a lot.
Don’t forget Cesc and Barcelona as the “star crossed lovers.” You can’t leave that angle out 🙂
@Anne , thanks for the idea .To give the Spanish feel ,we ‘ll convert one end of the pitch into a row of haciendas where Peppy
Guadiola ,backed by the Barkalone Catamite singers sing to Cesc
about unfullfilled promises ,undying passion and of returning DNA to its roots.
Cesc in turn will promise to pay 5 million pounds of his flesh (without any blood being shed)to come back home to warm the Barf-alone bench( which would have been his fate had he stayed put in the first place ).There will be the ususl rending of clothes with all the melodrama and with him asking ” Que bono ?”(who benefits ?).
Not to forget a dream song sequence (in a tempest)at the airport ,for as everyone knows ,that the’ rains in Spain mainly falls on the planes’ (sorry, just couldn’t resist that!).
1) Noun -a violent windstorm,especially one with rain,hail or snow .
2)Noun -a violent comotion,uproar or disturbance.
3)Verb – to agitate or disturb violently.
4)Tmpest -a comedy (1611) by W.Shakespear .
Sorry, 4) Tempest -.
I think I ‘ve changed my mind of a play and will write a script
and send it to Oliver Stone to have it made into a movie .
I promise to thank you Naren, and you Anne ,when I go up to receive the award at the Oscars !
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