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August 2021

Lille right back Mathieu Debuchy – a suitable case for treatment

The Modern Footballer:  Mathieu Debuchy, a Case Study

by Mark I. Ibrahim

Mathieu Debuchy is an exciting 26 year old French right back who has garnered quite a bit of attention recently and has been the subject of many a transfer rumour.  Naturally, he has decided to talk to L’Equipe all about it.  He has been with Lille since he was eight, so obviously owes them a lot of gratitude for the way they have nurtured his talent.

Untold Media normally deals with English newspapers, but we have no problem with widening our approach.   So let’s examine a transcript of the interview to get a better insight into the mind of the modern day footballer.

(*Disclaimer: All italicized words are my interpretations of his thoughts.)


“Despite my commitment to Lille – the club is in my heart – I am 100% committed to leaving.”

I am so committed to Lille that I had to talk to someone about how I am definitely not interested in being committed to them.  

“I want to leave LOSC,” 

In case I didn’t make myself clear the first time. TOTAL commitment.

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“The coach wants to keep me but I will not change my opinion.”

Stupid manager. He’s not the boss of… er… Well, he can’t control me!

“The discussions are not going very well. For now I am stuck in Lille.”

Did I mention how awesome Lille is?

“LOSC want to find my replacement before I am released. Ten, 15 players have been suggested to them but still nothing happens.”

Granted, I haven’t heard of any of them… but still, who do they think they are making me wait?

“There must be a little goodwill. It disappoints me and bothers me.”

It is really unfair of a club to upset its stars.

“Newcastle are one of my priorities. Inter are interested too.”

In case you weren’t aware of my awesomeness.

“Newcastle have already offered 5 million, but I don’t know how much Lille want.”

Yes. I mean, they offered to pay for my flight and even threw in a couple of centre stall seats to ‘Wicked’. What else do they want?

“Training is due to start on Tuesday but for me, I will not be there.”

There. That should help with Lille’s negotiations. Now that they know I will definitely leave, my suitors are bound to up their bids further. They can thank me later. After all, the club is in my heart.

Mathieu Debuchy: 218 games for Lille, 15 goals.  9 games for France, one goal.

Next week: Andy Carroll tells us how his heart is in Liverpool but if Newcastle come calling  then he proves that like Doctor Who he has two hearts and like a sub-atomic particle he can be in two places at once.  Or not.  As  the case may be.


Publication on July 20th: Woolwich Arsenal, the club that changed football.

The book that re-writes the Arsenal story.





9 comments to Lille right back Mathieu Debuchy – a suitable case for treatment

  • Matt Clarke

    The level of greed amongst top level footballers leaves me astonished.
    Whatever happended to loyalty?
    Thanks for the article – a fun, but pointed, read.

  • rusty

    I hadn’t heard of Debuchy until the Euros this year, when he represented himself well enough for France. Maybe their squad was affected by something in the water?

  • RobL

    Nice one Mark, what a thankless little twat he comes across as.

  • Goona Gal

    I have got to say, I didn’t really follow the article title and I initally thought it was one of those articles suggesting a player’s suitability for AFC.

    This article is a great eye opener! Debuchy sounds like he took tips from Hazard.

  • WalterBroeckx

    Well they played a long time together Goona Gal, so they learned a few tricks or is it the place that causes this?

    I better not step off the train in Lille next time when we come to the Emirates. I think there is something in the water over there or maybe in the air. Mmmmm holding my breath for some 5 minutes while the train stops might be a bit difficult.

  • WalterBroeckx

    About the article:
    I think this once more shows that there is no more loyalty amongst 99,99% of the footballers.
    Giggs (did I just use the world loyal???), Adams…those are the exception to the rules.
    But the rest are just mercenaries and well paid mercenaries. The best we can do is to hope they are loyal. But I’m trying hard not to have hopes about possible loyalty from any player. But it is so difficult you know. Take Jack he…. you see how easy it is to get carried away once again…

    The only loyal people in football are the supporters (and even there…. LOL) . And Arsène Wenger…

  • ARSENAL 13

    Debuchy….Is he the guy who deputized SAGNA???….

    ANd some ARSENAL fans want him at Emirates. Sic

  • robl

    @ Arsenal13, yes but he had a few good games on TV so now we should sign him. Even Jason Lee had a few good games…..

  • Mandy Dodd

    Unbelievable – hope Newcastle or whoever know what they are signing.
    Seem to remember Ade being a bit like that before he ended up with us, he turned out well didn’t he!