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July 2021

Its Özil to Özil who passes to Özil, out to Özil and now its Özil – and yes Özil scores.

Sunderland v Arsenal; the Media Preview

By Özil McÖzil – of the Scottish clan McÖzil

Poor sad TV execs.  They had a look at the fixtures, saw when the transfer window ended, and then had to pick what they thought would be the most exciting matches revealing the new mega talent and unknown arrivals.

And what did we get by BT Sprout and the other lot…

  • Man Utd Crystal Palace
  • Everton Chelsea
  • Southampton West Ham
  • Swansea Liverpool

And what is the world wanting to see?   Well, sort of, Sunderland v Özil.

Of course the problem doesn’t stop there, because no one much beyond Untold and a few other blogs had faith that this is how things would turn out.  So now the press are having to revamp their approach.  “Arsene Wenger’s future at Arsenal will be determined by the success of the new team” says the Independent said today, as if that were a new idea.

Obviously the only news is Özil.  So much so that if you take the Friday papers at face value our side for Saturday will be


Özil Özil Özil Özil

Özil Özil Özil

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Özil Özil Özil

But they have to do this sort of over the top tripe because they have not only failed to see where Arsenal was going (being the AAAs allies of course) but also they have deemed Arsenal’s new tactics too complex for us simple supporters to follow.

Yet the name of the game – as we started to say after the Fulham match – is not rotation (which is nice and simple and involves dropping one player so another can pop in) but rotating.  They just about got it when Pires and Henry used to change over who was centre forward and who was outside left, but now with three midfielders all doing it all the time, it’s just too much.

So the notion in the press now is that the highly successful experiment with rotating will be dropped for a return to fixed position.   Özil will play through the centre as the number 10 behind Giroud, Theo will run up and down the wing a lot and Cazorla will take over on the other wing.

But in fact Cazorla and Özil will go a-wandering.  Jack and Ramsey will nominally be the holding midfield – unless they want to do a little stroll elsewhere too.  (And I am still reminded of that wonderful comment that we got from the guy who said that the only proof that you needed that Arsenal were rubbish and Wenger should be sacked was the fact that we were entering the season without a defensive midfielder.)

And there is also the question of why Wenger didn’t go out and buy a new centre forward as most of the AAA and their press allies screamed for all summer, and last winter.  One reason is because Giroud is already scoring a lot of goals this season – more than last season, but you wouldn’t know that in the press build up.

Another is that Cazorla, Özil, and Theo can all score goals.  Ramsey (once not fit to wear the shirt and suddenly player of the month)  even seems to have developed the idea of how to do it too.  And that’s before we come into the notion of all those assists we are expecting. (Özil provided twice as many as Cesc last year, according to one report.  I’ve no idea if that is right, but it sounds good.)

So Cazorla can appear in the middle, Theo can run into the middle, Özil can wander all over the place, Ramsey can suddenly run forwards, Jack has played defensive and attacking midfield, holding midfield, and number 10.   The biggest problem is going to be overcrowding.

Which is a nightmare for the man who does the silly diagrams on BT Sprout (where there will be a total breakdown if they ever show Arsenal again and we get more than three goals).

In fact there are only three bits of the pitch where there will be no rotating.  The goalkeeper, I firmly predict, will not run up field to receive a pass on the left wing, and the back four will retain their positions.  The centre forward will also be the centre forward.  But that leaves five players who can and will go anywhere.

Earlier this week the press were telling us that most of Arsenal was injured during the internationals, thus getting ready for today’s headlines of ARSENAL CRISIS.  But is wasn’t true.  Rosicky is out, along with the long term problems with Arteta and Diaby.  Sonogo is added to the list, but Vermaelen is on the edge of return.  Per is reported to be ill by the BBC.

But hell, it doesn’t matter because of that Özil Özil Özil Özil team.  (BT Sprout are reported to have asked the clubs if they can’t change every players name to the same thing, “just to make it easier for the fans to understand”.   Oh and “no one to score more than three”.)

Özil Özil give us a wave.  Here’s the League Desk, sorry, table.

1 Unlikely 3 games 9 points
2 Money 3 7
3 Money money 3 6
4 Arsenal 3 6
5 Rugby 3 6
6 Tinies 3 6

The books…

Elsewhere from the same team…

14 comments to Its Özil to Özil who passes to Özil, out to Özil and now its Özil – and yes Özil scores.

  • blacksheep63

    I wouldn’t be so certain that Sir CHesney will not run the length of the pitch to intercept a back pass, miss it, run back, and tip over a sneaky lob from Larssssssssson. I think we will play an Umlaut formation. Basically 1-4-4-1-1-** but Ozil will start on the bench (as he’s ill – or indeed Oz-ill). I guess the question for Ozesene Wengill is whether to start with Kos and Sagna at CBs or risk TV5. Is he fit?

    Who knows what team de Canio will put out given all their purchases in the transfer window, All I think we can be clear about is that all the trains will run on time in Sunderland.

    Oz-il and out

  • Brickfields Gunners

    This team sounds like an effective and well Oziled machine !
    Smooth running guys ! Keep the pedal to metal and don’t let up!

  • my team will be like this
    ozil ozil ozil ozil
    ozil ozil
    ozil ozil ozil

    this is ozilicious team

  • Jax

    ….except Ozil (and Mertesaker) may not even travel due to food poisoning or some such bug picked up with the German squad.

  • nicky

    And the new pitch-side refreshing drink…
    It reaches the parts the opposition wish they had bigger.

  • Ozil is not well and may not start tomorrow. Both he and Merts sat out training today. Poor media might not have anything to talk about!

  • Arsenal1Again

    Untold Arsenal are becoming an embarrassment now. Where the hell is Anne and Tony, please take back your website and restore it back to the dizzy heights of respect it had before.

    What is this garbage?????

    As for Ozil, the squad’s lack of depth means key players will have to be rested during league matches to save them for Champions League matches, so expect Ozil to not even play against Sunderland.

    Also Arsene will prefer to showcase Ozil before a home crowd.

    It’s a shame the author of this piece (who we know the identity of from the style of writing) did not have the foresight to see these things … then again, why would he? And yes, it’s spelt with an Ö, what was the keyboard combination again please? o_O

  • elkieno

    Arsenal1Again: i dont get your comment?

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Hope we do well tonight .1-0 to the Ozilnal ,oops sorry , Arsenal for me .What is it with the keyboards ? Seems each one ( Most , anyway !) is being Ozilnaceous !

  • top Goooner

    Just cant stop laughing, man continue with that league DESK, I mean Table. You the Best.

  • Arsenal1Again – I’m here, but Anne… yes I very much wish she was still writing for us. Anne lives in the States, and it would be great to have her back on the team, but the Untold petty cash is short, so I cant get out there.

    Top gooner – I have commissioned some more league tables

  • nicky

    Ignore him. He’s just an old fozil with no sense of humour.

  • Mandy Dodd

    Hopefully we will see oz-ill at least at some point today he has travelled with the team

  • Sammy The Snake

    Your formation was wrong!

    Ramsey Ramsey Rambo Aron
    Ramsey Aron Ozil
    Rambo Giroud Ramsey

    Nice win! Arsenal on top for at least 30 minutes!!! 🙂 Thanks to the buys. COYG.