by Tony Attwood
Ah yes, you know you are getting old when you speak of the good old days. But I guess I am still ok as I only talk of the “old days” rather than the Good Old Days. “All the things that have gone,” is ok to talk about without feeling one’s age.
Like the days when Arsenal used to dominate games and not win. Yesterday v Palace we dominated possession, and we had 61% of possession according to the not always accurate official stats. But we still won.
We, however, only had nine goal attempts, to their 13. Three attempts on target to their four. Three corners to their four.
So what the hell were we doing?
For Mr Wenger the answer was, being patient and efficient, especially so with all our plans disrupted after Flamini went off within a few minutes. Brilliance was left behind for other days, and I guess most of us (the AAA excepted) would take the three points, stay top, and look forward to Liverpool and Man U. So that’s what we do. Next week’s game should be rather interesting.
The silly kick off time meant that the regular trip to one of our favourite teams in the FA Cup during the preliminary rounds was called off. The results, as it turned out, were mixed.
What you have to realise, to appreciate this FA Cup following thing, is that not only does the competition start in August with the Extra Preliminary Round, but also the results are hard to come by. Even the FA’s own Cup site takes forever to get results up – and if you are looking for latest scores or even half times forget it. Nothing comes through til well into the evening.
But finally we found out. Of the local teams Stamford went out, joining the rest of the locals. Guernsey too went out in the last round, in the match we followed in Lancing in Sussex.
But miracle upon miracle local interest remains. Daventry Town, right at the other end of the county, formed 1886 (same as Arsenal, as you’ll know) and currently in the The Southern League, (now known as the Calor League), the eighth level of English football are in the first round.
Daventry like most clubs have been brought close to the edge in recent years, but it is also in these last seasons that they have climbed up the league table to their currently lofty position. The ground, The Memorial Playing Fields, holds 3000 – or so they say. It is their first time ever in the first round of the cupso the capacity has never been tested.
Meanwhile our other local hope is Corby Town. The stadium, which I pass on the way to work, holds 3800. On 22 January 1966 Corby got to the third round of the FA Cup (that is the third round proper, the round Arsenal is in) and lost 6-0 to Plymouth, so this is all old hat to them. But there’s a mini-revival going on at the club, after the relegation last year, and we have hopes.
I can also hope that Poole Town (the club I followed as a child after my parents inexplicably moved from Wood Green to Dorset) will beat Staines in a replay and thus also join the Daventry – Corby elite in the first round. The draw is this afternoon.So, because of the silly kick off time of the Palace game, and the lack of Sunday matches in the area, no local football to be seen this week. But at least all the clocks went back to the shop so that we can now use sundials again.(I don’t have to explain that bit about being able to use sundials again do I?)And so, just to finish the personal side, I did what I do occasionally on a saturday night when friends are elsewhere. I found a dance listed at a club I’ve never been to before, and where I was fairly certain I would know no one, drove there (it was in Leicester), and danced the night away. (Jive, since you ask). It was, of course, a Halloween thing, and fortunately I remembered to wear my “I’m not dead yet” t-shirt from Spamalot so as not to look out of place. A splendid night was had by all, although dancing in some of those costumes must have been tough.Maybe its just me, but it sure beats TV.
The books…
- Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football – Arsenal’s early years
- Making the Arsenal – how the modern Arsenal was born in 1910
- The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal FC: crowd behaviour at the early matches
Let’s talk Arsenal. Is Flamini really out for two weeks? 🙁
Ah yes, Tony ! The good old days . And as Alfred E. Neuman once said ,” Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be !”
Here are some senior ‘moments ‘.
A senior citizen bought a brand new BMW Z4 convertible and drove it out of the salesroom.
Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
“Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
“I can get away from him – no problem!” thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 140mph, then 150 mph.
Suddenly, he thought, “What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said,
“Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking offfor the weekend. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old man, looked very seriously at the Policeman and replied, “Years ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, Sir,” said the policeman.
From the Medical Division of UA – a medical evaluation
for the guys and gals here .
SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE
If you are over 45 yrs. old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer’s Test
How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?
No cheating or peeking at the answers .
1. _ _NDOM
2. F_ _K
3. P_N_S
4. PU_S_
5. S_X
6. BOO_S
Answers:
1. RANDOM
2. FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS
You got all 6 wrong….didn’t you?
You do NOT have Alzheimer’s.
But you are a Pervert.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
Nursing Home Sex
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They began to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks: ‘Do you know what I miss most of all?’
She asks, ‘What?’ ‘Sex!’ he replies.
Mildred exclaims, ‘Why you old fart. You couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!’
‘I know’, Harold says, ‘but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.’
‘Well, I can oblige’, says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they could sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold’s manhood.
Then one night Harold didn’t show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was okay.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold’s manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, ‘You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don’t have?’
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, ‘Parkinson’s.’
(For the benefit of all young people, Parkinson is a sickness where patients’ hands are shaking all the time…)