Newcastle Preview | Danny Dyer and Depressed Sloths.

Mourinho wasted 180 minutes of our lives and got called a genius for it.


Lately, Newcastle have displayed about as much motivation as a depressed sloth – which is understandable considering they hit the 40 point mark sometime back in January. Incidentally, around the time Cabaye left and Pardieu started fighting people. Since then, the Europa League Crowd accelerated into the sunset and their object became a high-stake duel with Southampton for 8th place. Southampton have players competing for World Cup spots and Newcastle don’t.

So tonight we play against a team that are exactly where they ought to be, and probably not far from where they’d realistically like to be. Any higher, they find themselves perilously close to away games in Kazan on a Thursday. Any lower and columns concerning ‘Geordie fans’ or ‘for a club the size of Newcastle…’ start to write themselves. It’s the inevitable dilemma that a midtable club faces: do they increase transfer expenditure exponentially to gain a few places in the table; or do they embrace the middle ground, buy players around the 8 million mark and secure the exact same financial reward?

Probably just idle doom mongering, but part of me feels as though Newcastle need a result and that their French contingent might see playing in front of Wenger as an escape route. A bit like if Danny Dyer, by some odd twist of fortune, found himself auditioning in front of Martin Scorcese.

I’ll leave you with that thought…

We’ve had a good rest; we’re playing at the Emirates and late Kick-offs tend to bring the best out of this team.



                   Sagna                Mert                 Koz             Gibbs

                                      Ramsey             Arteta

                       Chamberlain           Ozil         Podolski    



Should be an entertaining game.









55 Replies to “Newcastle Preview | Danny Dyer and Depressed Sloths.”

  1. Apparently Gibbs still has a hamstring injury.

    Nice lineup otherwise! Thanks for the introduction to the game!


  2. Ok OK, lets give credit where it’s due. Mourinho is good, just because we do not like him, does not mean we can ignore that, or that he gets it right all the time, but his talents are there for all to see. Only thing pisses me off is that AW’s achievements are not recognised too. After all that i am not sure that even Mourinho would have been able to keep Arsenal where they were/are for the last times, having exactly what AW has had, which AW has done, sure we may well have got a cup, but would surely have missed many CL qualifications.

    Come on gunners.

  3. para,

    Isn’t that the point? Mourhino does exactly what lesser managers have done to him over and over this season and we are told he is a ‘tactical genius’ but Arsene Wenger, Pellegrini and indeed Brendan Rodgers who have done better against such teams are never called such.

    Allardice wasn’t a tactical genius when got 0-0 at the Bridge and neither was Poyet for beating his band of mercenaries with a relegation threatened team. Both teams were easily dispatched at home by Arsene Wenger’s team.

  4. Best thing Maureen did was wipe the smirk off the face of Rogers. I could not stomach his smirk on all the media.

    City might be built on robbed property and owned by sheik rattle & roll but at least their boss is a touch humbler than the other two….and Nasri spoke up for his football dad -Wenger.

  5. Love the preview, DSC 🙂
    Cazorla for Chambo or Poldi, I feel. Aren’t we all still waiting for the magic between Ozil and Santi? Next season for sure.

    And Mourinho is not a genius. Even Fat Sam can park a bus and get a result, but he doesn’t need hundreds of millions to do it.

  6. Jose is good at what he does. Criminal with that kind of squad though! Also at every team he has managed (except his first in portugal maybe? I don’t know) he has walked into a good squad already and has had a ‘budget’ I dont think he could do what wenger and other managers could in their position. Wheres the perspective in the media?

  7. Szczesny; Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal; Arteta, Ramsey, Ozil; Cazorla, Podolski, Giroud
    Subs: Fabianski, Jenkinson, Vermaelen, Kallstrom, Flamini, Rosicky, Sanogo

    There was a news story over the last few days about some niggle that the Ox may have picked up, which is being monitored.

  8. Quincy

    And Mourinho is not a genius. Even Fat Sam can park a bus and get a result, but he doesn’t need hundreds of millions to do it.

    That’s the point I make about him.

    He is a very good manager, of that there is no doubt.

    But make no mistake, setting up to ‘not lose’ as opposed to ‘win’ is easier.

    Some say it is not Joses job to entertain but I don’t entirely agree with that. When you look at it nearly all the changes made to the rules of the game over the last few years are with a view to encouraging attacking play.

    No back passes

    3 points for a win.

    Tweaks to the offside rule.

    The time a keeper can hold the ball.

    So everyone knows, including the rulers of the game, that’s it’s fast attacking football fans pay good money to see. NOT PARKED BUSES.

    If all teams played like Chelsea we’d be back in the ’70’s and take it from me, you wouldn’t want that.

    He is great at ‘stopping’ teams, but a Billion spent and still playing not to lose to me is a bit sad.

    But they got 3 points so what can you do.

  9. It’s funny, the media and Chelsea fans can praise Mourinho for his anti-football tactics, but didn’t the West Ham fans recently boo Big Sam for winning with park-the-bus tactics? Makes you think, doesn’t it….

  10. From Sports Mole commentary, I see two cards, neight seems to refer to time GooneressNo1 refers to. Early card to Sissoko, late card to Ramsey. Sports Mole is suggest Ozil was offside to score.

    Is the ref being a dick?


  11. The card Kos got was for kicking the ball into the stands. As for Ozil, it was a lucky(!) bounce, Giroud shot the ball, it wasn’t a pass, the ball got to Ozil from an opponent, so no offside.

  12. Now they’ll go on and on and on and on and on ….and on about this offside goal.

    I wonder where these guys were when we were robbed of legitimate goals at the etihad. And where were they when pool scored offside goal against us…

  13. Thanks Florian, Sports Mole never mentioned Kos’s card. I’m guessing he was happy. 🙂

    Not meaning to look a gift horse in the mouth, but a little more goal difference would be nice. 🙂


  14. ARSENAL 13,

    There was no offside. Ozil was kept onside by a Newcastle player on the ground near the touch line. The goal is not controversial at all. Although it is being called ‘lucky’.

  15. Florian and Arsenal13

    You do make it very hard to take this website seriously – you know full well that if the Ozil goal had been a Newcastle one we would be hearing in ref previews for years about how this was further evidence of bias against us

    And as for “now they’ll go on and on and on”: On Sky the half time anchor called it “bad luck” for Newcastle, Neville dismissed this and said Newcastle deserved to concede given their terrible defending. The BBC website didn’t even mention it being offside (until a Newcastle fan texted in). The Guardian MBM said “He looked offside when Giroud was doing his hapless thing, but Newcastle were ripped apart with such ease there that they’d have some chutzpah moaning too loudly about it”

  16. Bootoomee
    Suggest you read the rules of football – two defenders (including GK) not one to play an attacker onside

  17. Yeah Bootoomee. They are trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

    Even if the two players behind the ball is breached, it would count as a back pass wouldn’t it. It came of krul…

  18. Your chickens seem to be doing okay Arsenal 13.

    Come on Sanogo, put that ball in Newcastle’s net.


  19. How to go Gunners! Happy St. Totteringham’s Day!

    I am going to guess that Rosicky should have gotten a penalty, but Swarbrickhead just couldn’t …..

    Sports Mole, like so many sources of commentary, doesn’t support Arsenal. The BBC tonight, just to get other fans involved, was to spend the night talking about Mourinho and favorite endings to seasons.

    In any event, someone who attends Untold doesn’t see statistics, here are the stats on the game from the BBC.

    Possession 61 39
    Shots 20 8
    On target 8 3
    Corners 14 0
    Fouls 9 8

  20. The feast of St.Totteringham–always enjoyable celebration in the calender.What a quiet place the Coop has often been this year.Long may it last,like! Lest we forget; a cannon is always better than a chicken.
    COYG! Aha and Amen.

  21. Bootoomee, i am looking at his whole way, he is a tactical manager, and good at it. A horrible man sometimes, most times, but give credit. His CV bears out the fact of his successes. Rogers is new and still has to prove himself, AW and Pelegrini we know they are good.

  22. That is what we miss when a ref doesnt ref the game well. Thank you Swarbrick, didnt think i ll say it.
    Cazorla and Ozil made a miss of newcastle players. And cazorla one time plays the corner with his left, the other with his right! What the hell? And then he tackles cleanly sissouko 3 times, who is 3 cazorlas in shape. What the hell is he smoking out there? Man of the week, not only the match.

  23. Excellent win, a good all round performance, three interesting goals – the last one followed a very nice move, good cross from Ozil & a sharp header from Giroud.

    Well done the team!

    Mandy I agree with you – a glass (at least) to St Totteringham!!

    Just watching the post match analysis from the SkyAA – basically Arsenal did win but they still suck.

  24. I thought Swarbrick was a bit mean with a couple of the cards. It could be said that Koz was preventing the game restarting, but come on!. And Bacary, what did he do wrong? Just a little bit of petulance. Was it just me, or did anyone else thing Rosicky dived? I saw the replays and he didn’t appear to have been touched. Ramsey & Ozil were both magnificent.

  25. Well done Arsenal!

    I couldn’t believe my ears when GN said Ozil was lucky to score from an offside position, like Bootoomee said, there was a Newcastle player on the ground on the goal line after he’d failed to slide tackle Giroud. And Ozil was just at the edge of the 6 yard box, that’s how many yards onside, 6! And they still said he was offside. What are they smoking over at Sky 🙂

  26. Rosicky didn’t dive, it was more of a shove than contact with the legs. He was running at full speed and the shove sent him flying, the look of bewilderment on his face when the ref signalled a goal kick said it all.

  27. AL/Botoomee

    Sorry lads but I think he was off.

    The rule says that when the ball is played there has to be 2 players between the player receiving the ball and the touchline, unless the ball is played backwards towards your own goal.

    There was only one (The guy lying prone on the line) as the keeper was further out than ozil.

    Okay, the keeper touched it on the way through but there is no ‘Played on’ rule anymore so it was ‘when the ball was played’.

    And I don’t think it was a pen (or a dive) on Rosicky. He just didn’t get his foot wrapped round it and fell attempting the shot.

    Just my opinion, and of course I could be wrong (wouldn’t be the first time) but I always say it as I see it.

    Anyway it’s all pretty irrelevant. Way too good for Newcastle and we hardly got out of a canter.

    CL could be sealed by Saturday night.


  28. I am sure agent Sherwood is raising a glass at some secret location, if not, he will be when they sack him

  29. Yes Gord, expect them to hit those clubs hard…..a fine of up to 64 euros and being forced to train behind closed doors for starters.

    Sorry….shouldn’t be cynical before we know the punishments!

  30. Happy St Totteringham’s Day everyone! 🙂

    The real question is: can Özil and Cazorla together on the pitch emulate Zidane and Figo from the beginning of the century? The way Özil glided through Newcastle defence tonight…

    He was offside when he scored though but I think the only reason why the goal wasn’t chalked off is the fact English referees know crap about their job.

    Non-football stuff: I think that most of us have a feeling whenever we see bearded Ramsey that he reminds us of someone we know personally.

  31. Rosicky did not dive! Just as he began the downswing of his kick to go out and in a Newcastle player grazes his foot on the outside so his intended move of foot outward to direct the ball towards goal was compromised and instead his foot is directed forward to send the ball straight forward. The defenders touch caused by placing his foot alongside Rosicky’s left foot may not have been intended to foul but certainly touched and prevented the outward curve of Rosicky’s foot. It was not enough to bring Rosicky down but enough to make him misdirect his shot. The replay shows this quite clearly if you are not blinded by any extraneous consideration.

  32. Mandy, how one negotiates sanctions is beyond me? But, I hope some good becomes of this.

  33. greencardusa
    Fair enough. Excellent description I certainly won’t be blinded by any extraneous considerations, whatever they are, and I’ll always defer to anyone who was actually at the game.

  34. @Jambug, agree totally.

    He was awesome, hope spain goes out of world cup early, so he can get a rest this time. Ok am a bit selfish. But damn he was good, cant say anyother thing.

    By the way Giroud is sh*t and he is not good for Arsenal and he is not a good striker. All match long that was all the commentator said. This sh*t striker won the foul of the first goal, was in the second goal, and scored the third.
    By the way, shouldnt Giroud and Ozil start training Sagna and Monreal on how to cross, damn man they know how to just if they can do it better so Girous will put it in, one of the best headers in the world.

  35. I can’t believe a couple of beers at the pub knocked me down for a few hours. I must be getting too old for this s**t. But, Happy St. Totteringham’s Day to everyone on all continents! 🙂

    Actually, now that I’m leaning about the FFP assessment outcome, I realize why I’m dumbstruck. The FFP isn’t lacking rule, it’s lacking methodology. Blimey, what a way to pour cold water over a law. Might as well send a congratulations letter to the infringing clubs for helping them test the regulations.

  36. Florian,
    And a reprimand to clubs that did not violate FFP for being too naive?
    Happy St. Totteringham’s day.
    Off to sip some Dom Perignon.

  37. One depressed sloth here.

    I started following football on the BBC Sports website, because I thought the high standards of the BBC News organization might carry over to Sports. Fat chance it seems! Nothing but a bunch of uneducated neanderthals.

    I’ve followed commentary at Sports Mole for a few games, and they too always seem to have to put a few digs into Arsenal, they can’t just comment on the game.

    Here I complain about the BBC Sports people being Neanderthals, and I am going to call myself a dinosaur, because I do not want to have javascript enabled to follow commentary. I am perfectly capable of hitting the reload button. Besides, I am usually working when games are on, and my Linux desktop has 10 graphical screens and 6 text screens, and I could have any of those 16 screens active at any given time. I don’t need some unattended javascript written by someone who doesn’t care about security running in browser sessions I am not actively watching.

    I spent a little time looking at other places for commentary. There are a few TV oriented organizations in the UK that have commentary that I am aware of off the top of my head: BBC and Sky. You could add others if interested. A number of newspaper organizations run commentary pages: The Guardian and Telegraph are two I can immediately come up with. Perhaps we can build a current list up?

    Sports Mole is out for me now. Football365 is out, because their commentary only works if you have javascript on. Goal dot com and Vavel dot com seem to be okay. I’ve run into sites which seem to repackage Sports Mole, and I think SportingLife dot com is a repackaging of Sky. Commentary at ESPN (worldwide leader in being ESPN) is to minimalistic to be useful. Sports Illustrated (part of CNN) is too full of sports hype to be useful to read.

    Surely that isn’t the world supply of text commentary feeds (well, world minus Canada, I can’t imagine any Canadian feed as being worth reading), so if you know of any more, feel free to add them. Don’t make it look like a URL, we can all use search engines to find a site from a partial name.

    For what remains of the season, I think Goal and Vavel will be where I get my feed.

    One thing that is of interest to me, is if there are audio feeds that only have the actual noise of the stadium, not some person providing “colour”.

    I am not interested in video links, but others may be.

  38. Materials Science and Engineering is what I was made for, not that many of you know what that is. But I do have the odd ability with computers.

    If I look at the text commentary problem as a potential business, maybe some else can profit from it?

    I would go looking for a commercial feed of video and stadium noise audio (no announcers or colour commentary). I don’t know how many stations one needs, but I suspect it is more than 1. At each station you have a computer monitor displaying the game. It is generating this display in a manner that it allows it to have a buffer of say 90 seconds in length, with 1/3 of that time being video/audio that has already been displayed, and 2/3 to be filled with the trailing feed. Or whatever split ends up being “best”. At some point, the commentator can press “start”, which starts a comment. The commentator then starts to assemble a comment, where the start key generates the time stamp on the game. The act of commenting is helped by a computer program which will help ensure the various team names and player names are spelled correctly. There is actually quite a bit more than what the average word processor sees, that can be done in text analysis. Once the buffer is filled, the monitor displays the buffer in a loop, allowing the commentator to see the entire loop again to polish the comment. At some point, the commentator presses “finish”, which queues the comment for sending (you don’t want comments out of order). When the monitor refills its pre-time fraction of the buffer, that station is available to comment again.

    After a while, you will learn how much buffer you need, and how much of that time is “pre-time” and what the distribution of delay times is.

    With that information, you can now look to produce your own web feed. You tell subscribers that you will be delaying the feed by however many seconds, to approximately match comments with the action.

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