England are playing. Fingers crossed – no injuries but quite a few laughs

Please please please no injuries to Arsenal players in foreign parts…

Launching the Untold World Kup review analysis and full details, prepared for your delectation by our very own man with a spot, Sir Hardly Anyone.

Over to you Sir Hardly…

Hello and welcome to the #RioChallenge Live Blog, brought to you by Strongbow. We’re following Roy Hodgson’s Two Giraffes and a Dogbiscuit over to Miami which is west of Taunton, as England meet Ecuador in their penultimate warm-up cool down and shake it all about game for the 2014 World Kup organised as ever by the most corrupt, inept, appalling and disgraceful operation on this or any other planet: Fufa.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is due to start from the, err, start, as Hodgson has claimed that he plans to name an experimental line-up by including three martians and a Plutonian in the XV for the “clash” as football journalists love to call these things.

[Are you sure of this Sir Hardly? – Tony]

However, Roy’s boys [oh very good – Roy’s boys indeed] aren’t the only footballers with the opportunity to prove themselves on the biggest stage over in Rio this Summer.

After a nationwide search to find a team up-to-scratch, Strongbow (clearly a company that shares Untold’s sense of the utterly absurd) sent their #RioChallenge boys – marshalled by Chris Kamara (honestly)– to take on one of Brazil’s best female five-a-side teams. Here’s how they got on: http://bit.ly/riofinal

If you do want to come to the event and have not stated so yet then come to Rileys bar in Victoria, 4th June at 18.30. Watch the game with Chris Kamara with 3 free Strongbows.

Or else you can all pop round to my house, 10 Downing St., London W1.


36 Replies to “England are playing. Fingers crossed – no injuries but quite a few laughs”

  1. The Netherlands-Wales game is on. As has been in the news, no Bale or Ramsey for Wales tonight. But, Wales does happen to have 3 players with the surname of Williams.

  2. Walter,

    Looking at England’s goal this seems the perfect opportunity to ask you this rule’s question.

    Am I right in thinking that it cannot be offside if the receiving player is standing BEHIND the player who makes the pass, at the time he makes the pass, irrespective of the amount of players between the receiving player and the goal line, or whether the ball is played forwards backwards or sideways.

    Simply put, if the recipient is behind the passer when he plays the ball he CANNOT be off side.

  3. Townsend is such a wanker.

    Jack gets fouled ‘again’ and it’s Jacks fault.

    That guy is such a prick.

  4. The Ox has been brilliant. Jack very good. Barkley very good.

    Pound to a pinch of shit the half time talk’s all about Rooney and Lambert.

  5. I came on to see if anybody noticed the Townsend comments about jack. Not really taking into account he got fouled…..but what he should be doing

  6. Jambug, offside is (almost) all about positions, _when_ the ball is played. A player who plays the ball backwards can put themselves offside, if they put themselves within play of the ball coming forward from the trailing player. As I read commentary and didn’t see play, Walter will have a better answer.

    Looking at the BBC commentary on the 2 British games, there is nothing about Jack Wilshere getting fouled. Hopefully the Ox isn’t seriously hurt. Goal.com also say nothing about Wilshere being fouled.

  7. Bad challenge by Sterling, red card right for me and the Ecuadorian gave the ref no choice with his hands round Sterling’ throat. About the first thing the officials did get right. I thought the incident that led to the Ox going off started with a rash challenge by him annoyed at losing the ball, a bit like how he did his knee at the start of the season. I also see Jack has been kicked out of the game. Hope both are injured enough to come home but not bad enough to miss the start of the season!

  8. This (near end of game) demonstrates the care and attention the BBC do in their job of reporting sports news:

    > 21:44 Uh oh. Jack Wilshere goes down in his standard injury scare. The England midfielder gets clumped on his shin, but less worryingly appears to be attacked by a bout of cramp. Thankfully he quickly gets back on his feet before being replaced by Adam Lallana for the closing moments. No drama.

  9. Reading the end of game summary at BBC, I would guess oldgroover is correct, the Ox is probably coming back home after hyperextending his knee.

  10. Looking at the replays.


    Slight foul but cramped up as went down. nothing too serious.

    The Ox:

    After giving the ball away got back well and won the ball. Got caught on the ankle by the Ecuadorian as he went to ground. The injury occurred as the Ecuadorian slid through into Alex’s standing leg and turned his ankle and ‘opened’ his knee. Didn’t look good and he seemed to be on a lot of pain initially, although it was good he walked of and seemed not to be in too much stress by then.

    Fingers crossed for both, well at least by August 🙂

  11. Just had to happen….fear the worst having seen that with Ox, he really is having a bad run of injuries

  12. jambug
    That’s right. Any player behind the ball is on side no matter what the position of any other player on the pitch is.
    As Gord says the player making the pass will then have to make sure he himself gets onside (if he was the last player when he made the pass) before the next play begins. If he was close to the goal line it’s a good idea to go behind until play redevelops.

  13. In retrospect, I am happy Gibbs was not picked by Hodgson.

  14. The transfer BS and world cup lead-in bores me to no end, except the occasional bouts of incontinence at the expense of certain young British talents. But really I do tend to be more “international” in these turbulent times. I often like to say that Dennis Bergkamp is my god, but that’s slightly misleading. He is the patron saint at most. My two primary religions (Arsenal is a way of life) are Total Football and Tiki-Taka, so as the latter’s swan song begins (I’m supporting Spain, more for the principle than anything else), I look to the former. And its God: Johan Cruyff. Football was always meant to be an art-form as well as a sport, and even fans have a responsibility to keep it that way.

  15. @Andrew Crawshaw,
    The last sentence of your 9.47pm merely confirms the widely held view that the progress of the national team is of reduced interest to many, these days…..as compared, that is, to the chosen club side and its players.
    While the World Cup competition continues, Arsenal FC supporters will have their hands full, worrying not only about the health of their foreign heroes playing for their respective countries, but also that of those unknown players who may be arriving at the Emirates as a result of the Transfer Window.

  16. as was already said: a player who is behind the ball cannot be offside. No matter how few or non at all defenders there are in front or behind him

  17. @Brickfields Gunners
    My creativity “explodes” every night, well at least it used to when i was younger.

    Sorry, i just could not resist that one. It’s a silly time at the moment.

  18. Oxlade-Chamberlaine out for three weeks, which will please a lot of people here.

  19. @ Para – Not to worry ,when the kids leave the nest and you and the missus are all alone, it’ll probably ” explode” everyday , as I’m finding out !

    And I ‘m sure that as Arsenal win more often next season ,I ‘ll be more stimulated to further exertions !

    Now if only the WC was interesting and exciting ,I ‘ll have my hands full (we’ve both put on weight!) this summer too , but no country whets my appetite as far . Costa Rica , probably ! Go Joel !

    According to a study , supporting the German team would probably kill you!

  20. OOPS ! Sorry should have been …. would probably NOT kill you .
    ( Conclusions There is no relevant increase or decrease in mortality on match days of the German national soccer team. ).
    This is probably as they were winning and not failing to launch as other national teams !

  21. Aha, my children are leaving home at a rate of one a year so good times ahead…in two years time 😉 🙂
    Got to raise my testosterone levels by then. Or does it ‘raises’ naturally? 😉 Over to you Doc 🙂

  22. Walter , then I’ll be officially welcoming you to the Randy Old Coots Club ! The “Coots ” can be changed to some other word if you wish !
    The secret is to prepare early ,adequate sleep ,watching your diet & drinks and getting into shape . Round is not a acceptable shape !

  23. your link about the testosterone I must say that I do bicycling a lot usually for more than one hour at rather high tempo. And usually in the sun so my vitamin D level should go up also.
    I’m trying to control my waist line 😉 But around 50 that is not as easy as it was before 🙁
    I eat healthy (I think – much vegetables only small portions of meat and mostly none).
    Just need to get more sleep I think. Only sleep 6 hours each night… and that has nothing to do with my wife in particular. I just go to bed too late.

  24. Walter – as a older doctor its my privilege to give medical advice my patients , but the good news is I don’t necessarily have to follow them !

  25. According to the BBC commentary, Jack Wilshere had 1 shot on net (coming on as a sub for Rooney at half time), and never got fouled at all.

  26. @ Gord – they are now attacking our Arsenal players in training ,even in the same team ! Apparently bad habits are hard to break.
    But I’m with you in wishing the come back save and early from the WC .
    Quite unlike this lady….

    Coming Back From Ladies Night.

    The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. “I promise!”

    Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

    Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, even after drinking so much.

    The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn’t seem disturbed at all. Whew! I Got away with that one!
    Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, “Oh, crap,” cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat”.

  27. Prayers answered ?

    A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
    When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the White House so the President can have a look at it.

    The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

    The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.

    He wrote: “Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted 95%.”

  28. About Husbands & Wives ……

    “If you want to change the world, do it when you are a bachelor.
    After marriage, you can’t even change a TV channel…”

    Normally A Man speaks 25000 words Daily
    and Woman speaks 30000.
    But the Problem starts when the husband comes home
    after finishing his 25000 words and the wife starts her 30000 !

    Listening to the wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website.
    You understand Nothing, still you click ……!!

    Chess is the only game in the world, which reflects the status of the husband.
    The poor king can take only one step at a time …
    While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.

    All Men are Brave, Horror Movies don’t Scare them….
    But 2 Missed Calls from Wife ..
    surely does

    What is Checkmate?
    You tell your wife “I saw a lady, looked exactly like you” ,& the wife asks , “WAS SHE HOT..??”
    You can’t say ‘no’ You can’t say ‘yes’
    Thats Checkmate.!

    Depressed Husband to his fat wife:
    “You are my only investment, that has doubled.”

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