Suddenly there is a list of players who want to transfer to Arsenal!

By Tony Attwood – star of stage, screen and Puma promotions

Suddenly everyone wants to play for Arsenal.  Clearly they have seen the possession and attacking way Arsenal play, the mighty Emirates Stadium, the fact that Arsenal don’t muck around with maniacs with social problems, and of course they have caught up on our heritage via the Puma promotion (as per link above, and the last article).

This change of emphasis has of course caught some of the national press by surprise.  But even the increasingly bizarre Telegraph says today, ” Breaking their Premier League transfer record for the second successive summer is a distinct possibility.”

Their current analysis is that Loic Remy from QPR is the prime target for right back, and that although Mario Balotelli is still available Wenger is “waiting for the outcome of a merry-go-round including Karim Benzema, Mario Mandzukic and Alexis Sanchez.”

Beyond that they add that “A holding midfielder is also a priority, with Southampton’s Morgan Schneiderlin on the list.”

But the old right wingers are a bit out of phase with the even-more-right-wingers in the “let’s laugh at foreigners” Daily Express claim that Alexis Sánchez is just of the new breed of player who says he doesn’t fancy the rather run down Anfield, with their penchant for misfits, and instead he wants to join Arsenal.

Apart from the joys of living in London, Sanchez is reported to have noted that Arsenal play in a similar way to the Barca style and Sanchez knows a move to the Emirates would only mean a change of club, not a change in how he plays.

But the Metro does still think we are after Mario Balotelli.  Hey ho.

So there we are.  Some names are new but certain ones just keep popping up, either because they are true or the journalists are too tried from a hectic night out at the Toppled Bollard, to write anything new.

Based on the longevity of the story we are going to sign

  • Loic Remy
  • Morgan Schneiderlin
  • Alexis Sánchez 
  • Mathieu Debuchy

And coming up on the rails Jackson Martinez

Not all of them, of course, but quite possibly some.

Recent posts

16 Replies to “Suddenly there is a list of players who want to transfer to Arsenal!”

  1. Dear Tony “Big ‘ead ” Attwood – star of stage, screen and Puma promotions ; congratulations on you new fame and impending(?)fortune !
    I do really think that you should not take Walter’s suggestion on the previous article and do the catwalk in the new Arsenal skin tight Puma jersey.
    Unless of course ,you have been working out ,and are ‘well ripped’ ! Here’s my suggestion – get your jiving group together and perform a dance or two at the launch !
    At the very least the crowd would be entertained with a laugh or two !
    As the Untolders will be with these jokes on aging .

    You’re getting old when you don’t care where your
    spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

    Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

    Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
    he’s too old to go anywhere.

    Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

    Old age is having a choice of two temptations and
    choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

    A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.

    Don’t worry about avoiding temptation.
    As you grow older, it will avoid you.

    You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means
    you find your car in the parking lot.

  2. All of the speculation just gets me bored, though I can’t say the thought of Sanchez hasn’t tickled me. But, as always, I will believe when the deal is done and announced by the club(s).

  3. Allthough it’s nice to see top tallent wanting to come to Arsenal why isn’t Wenger or any other top flight manager looking at Micha Richards from man city, I don’t think he’d cost as much as Debuchey but look at the guy come on… Yes about 6’6″ and built like a boxer but runs like a race car , in my opinion (which means nothing) hes a brillaint right back and an unknown comodity

  4. I go to my mailbox after reading this article and lo and behold you can ad Di Maria to your list as he also wants to come to The Arsenal. Well that is according to the rumour inventors of course….

  5. Too many rumours… But some of the targets in the list would be nice to have at the ems.

  6. it is so fantastic that all these great players want to sign for arsenal – then please tell me why we aren’t signing any of them.While we spend time selling our players, other teams will sign these fantastic football playing arsenal supporters!

  7. No Scott Parker or Kalou at the moment but I genuinely read today that Klaas-Jan Huntelaar is back in the mix presumably as a result of him scoring a penalty goal a few days ago.

  8. Should not be celebrating the Puma deal too soon. If selling clubs knows about this, the players pricing and agents dealing just gonna hike up. These media bastards are finding a new way to make life difficult for Wenger. Or the great one has already sealed the deal before World Cup?

  9. These names make more sense than Balotelli and Carvanni type of talk (although anyone would like to have them, ignoring the price and player quota.)And then there was a talk briefly about Hulk…

    The price range also make more sense.

    Many things might be happening

    1) Smoke screen by Wenger. U need deal that make sense to cover your real move.
    2) Real talks with these guys. There are many so he is keeping his options open.
    3) These guy throw in “Arsenal talking to me” as a way to drive his price up.
    4) Players really see Arsenal as an option. Afterall most of them are relatively young so they can still get to those sugar daddy club later on after they landed in EPL.
    5) People just guessing with a way that make more sense.

    btw, the talk about no.2 goal keeper has died down by the need is still there.

    Still, we don’t know how deep the pocket Arsenal have. We do not know how much they prefer to spend. That’s what make things very tricky.

  10. Arsenal’s policy for buying players. The manager notifies the player/s he wants and the value of the/those player/s. The Arsenal board set about to obtain the/those player/s.

    The information as to who is wanted is not made public until the player/s is/are Arsenal players.

    Any other word on the subject means that the writer/speaker of the word lives in one of lifes rubbish tips and like a rubbish tip – stinks.

  11. While awaiting earth shattering transfer news , here’s some humour form down under .

    Politically (in)correct in Australia

    I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I rooted a Sheila called Penny – spooky or what?

    A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can get back to seeing their own doctor.

    I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller. Apparently ” A meal for two with a hairy view” is not the way to call no 69 !

    I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . . .It makes the wife look like she’s moving during sex.

    Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

    An AAAA has died whilst training to be a skydiver. The AKB School of Diving said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open.

    Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $10.50/min (charges may vary).

    Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she’s crap at snooker..

    Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

    If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine ‘flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s spam.

    They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think 1 minute and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly

Comments are closed.