By Bulldog Drummond
Manchester Accountants is part of a financial organisation which aims to spread its cultural and economic influence worldwide.
It already has bases in Australia, New York and Manchester, and is now looking to move into phase two, which involves taking over disused and abandoned venues built for the world cup, and placing teams there. Brazil and South Africa are currently top targets, and it is believed that negotiations are continuing.
Part of the group’s aims are classic accountancy ploys – pushing regulations to the limit to see what will happen vis a vis the authorities. But there are predictions of an easy ride in both South Africa and Brazil.
Arsenal work on a different model. While financing based on oil and gas consumption will come to an end either due to rising sea levels or the end of production, Arsenal’s model is one of self-financing and self-sustainability. It is also interesting to note that the Stadium Wenger is built on one of the higher parts of London, although ultimately as the gas and oil continues to be used, it could end up on the shores of the Thames. The stadium has been designed so that windmills can be built around it, in the eventuality of the oil running out.
So to the match of two totally different economic systems.
Proving that we are not the only people who lose players to injury Manchester Accountants player, a Mr Nasri injured himself carrying his wallet, while Edin Dzeko is doubtful as he is still looking for his. “I gave it to my banker,” he said plaintively, “and now I can’t find him”.
Sergio Aguero and Vincent Kompany will start presumably, having had last weak on the beach. (Funny thing this letter “a”).
Mathieu Debuchy and Mikel Arteta are obviously out, and Kieran Gibbs remains a doubt, but Calum Chambers is back off sick leave.
According to the press (when they take their very rare breaks from rampant anti-Arsenal hysteria) this is David Silva vs Alexis Sanchez. Actually the BBC point out that they are “on the same pitch” which is by and large going to be helpful. Alexis has 12 goals and seven assists in the league this season, more than any other player.
So now of course we have problems. Huge problems. Mega problems. I mean where are we going to put Mesut Ozil, Aaron Ramsey and Theo Walcott along with the Ox, Santi Cazorla and Tomas Rosicky.
We drew 2-2 with the accountants on the banks of the river earlier in the season, Last time we played them we were top of the league and lost 6-3. What completely stunned and shattered the anti-Arsenal mob however was to find out that it only cost us three points. Strange that.
So, looking at the ups and down, Manchester Accountants are unbeaten in their last five games against us (we’ve lost two and drawn three) and we have won only one game in the last six at the stadium conveniently built for them by the UK tax payer.
But there have been six sendings off in the last nine between the two. Unfortunately, noting the Untold ref preview, it looks as if there could be six more today, and all of them Arsenal players, which would result in the match being abandoned.
However Manchester Accountants last three games have been a win and two draws and they lost at home to Stoke. (Funny that isn’t a headline like Arsenal losing 3-2 away to Stoke is).
As for us, our run of the last six in the league is, drawn one, lost one and won four. You’d never know it.
Although Arsène Wenger has said Krystian Bielik goes into the first-team squad and so becomes part of the 25 he won’t play today. (Interestingly he said, “It’s an awful lot of money for a player if he doesn’t succeed. If he does succeed, then it’s cheap.”)
Incidentally, on money, Our Thierry said Sánchez was our best buy in recent years. Mr Wenger said that on a cost base valuation Laurent Koscielny (who wants his own song) is the best, saying, “It is difficult to compare Koscielny with Sánchez, all the signings we made last summer were good. Sánchez is one of the better ones but you have to consider the price you pay, as well, to decide that because we paid good money for Sánchez.”
Quite honestly I don’t know who Mr W will pick (so no change there). Here’s a selection…
Bellerin Mert Kos Monreal
Coquelin Cazorla or Ozil
Theo Ramsey Sanchez
On the beach: Szczesny, Özil or Cazorla, Chambers, Hayden, Flamini, Rosicky, Campbell, the Ox, Akpom, Gibbs – although it is possible Gibbs could be fit and could start…
98 percenters punt of the day: ‘Arsenal to make move for £45m-rated Cavani’
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